We don't get to pick the vic.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Benson is physically ill after visiting a horribly mutilated blind victim of Serbian ethnic cleansing.]
Remember that Tom Hanks movie where he managed the girls' team? [hands Benson a piece of gum] "There's no crying in baseball."
So you don't think she murdered him.
[lying] No. I don't think she murdered him. She said she was in her office until around one. That was after he was killed.
And no one else was there.
And no one else was there.
And no one else was there. That is an anti-alibi.
Look. We know there are 2 killers, so. How are we going to find the other one?
You mean the other one who also didn't do it?
I read the autopsy report. Now do you really believe that those 2 ladies were walking around with 5 and 7-inch knives in their purses every day?
I think we did the one thing that's going to allow me to sleep tonight.
You just used your "Get out of Jail Free" card on this case, Olivia. There's only one in the pack.
[The squad is looking at pictures of the victim.]
8 stories up, 8 down.
Looks like she was shot out of a cannon.
Guy on steroids?
No, the Yankees are on a road trip.
Yeah, they're down in Baltimore, kicking a little Oriole ass.
How about plain old testosterone-driven rage?
Her boyfriend?
Or girl. You could toss 100 pounds without breaking a sweat.
Toss you, you skinny-ass geek.
See? The rage?
The whole thing's a pyramid scheme.
What whole thing?
Laptops. We've become a nation of laptoppers, writing orders on our laptops, more laptops- whatever happened to pens?
[reads the title of one of the victim's articles] "How to build a better orgasm" in "Cosmopolitan." Somebody might kill for this.
NNeighbor
Excuse me. How long does that girl's apartment remain a crime scene?
Why?
NSNeighbor's husband
We're next on the list for a one-bedroom.
LLawyer
So you're an expert on sex crimes, is that correct?
Well, we all have something to learn.
LLawyer
I'm sure. Can you tell us the technical or "psycho-sexual" term if you will, for fondling a stranger?
[hesitantly] Fromage...?
[Scattered laughter in the court.]
LLawyer
I believe it's "frottage."
Right. "Frottage."
This woman makes J.D. Salinger look like a Shriner.
DSDr. Daniels's lawyer
He was in Ms. Quinn's apartment briefly, at lunchtime, at her request, to attend to a crisis.
Or an erection.
DDr. Daniels
That's insulting.
Really. I thought it was the absence of one that was insulting.
BBuddy
How ya been, Elliott?
Good, eerything's good. This is my partner, Olivia Benson.
[shaking Buddy's hand] Hey, how ya doin'?
BBuddy
You're better looking than Alphonse.
[laughing] Thanks.
BBuddy
What happened to Big Fatso? Coronary?
Nah, retired and moved to Florida.
BBuddy
Ah, same diff.
[Questioning a news anchor about his relationship with the victim.]
DDallas
"Knew her." Does anybody ever really know anybody?
Don't get philosophical with us. You're just a teleprompter jockey; we're just cops.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.