“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Hello to you! I am the box of tomatoes fairy! I come in peace! Let us be friends and play with each other!

Germany

I think someone’s inside!

You’re wrong! There’s no one inside! DO NOT OPEN THE BOX!!!!

Germany

Nnnnngh…. Verdammt, this is heavy…

Why are you ignoring me?! What point is it to try to see the box of tomatoes fairy’s guts?!?!

Germany

*struggle grunts* Something is caught in here…!!!

Wah! I’m so sorry; you were right! I am not a box of tomatoes fairies at all! It was all lies! Lies!!! LIES!!!! Please don’t shoot me; I’m too young to die, and what if I don’t die but am just mortally wounded and forced to lie there in misery in a pool of my own blood?! Please I’ll do anything! Well, I mean within reason… I DON’T WANT TO DIEEEEEEE!!!!!!

I mean seriously, I’m a virgin! Where do you think they get Virgin Olive Oil? The point is you don’t want to shoot the virgin! We’re pathetic enough as it is!!! I apologize for the lying, and the boxing, and really I’m a good Italy! I swear! You’re Germany, right?!

Germany

Geez… is this the guy I’m supposed to be fighting? I heard mein Feind is the descendant of the great Rome, but…

I have relatives in Berlin!

Germany

Ugh… there’s no way this whining little brat could be the same enemy… I wonder who he really is… Let me ask you a question. You wouldn’t by any chance be related to the great Rome, would you?

Wait, you’re telling me you know Grandpa Rome? What a fantastico turn of events! Especially for this poor pizza and pasta lover! You had me completely fooled! I thought you were really mean and scary! So we can be friends, ok?

Germany

What kind of joke is this? Ah! Mein Gott this is a trap! He’s pretending to be harmless in an attempt to catch me off guard! Sneaky bastard!!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah……. *whine cry whine*

Germany

At that moment, I never imagined the extent to which this encounter would change my fate. Although I don’t believe in such things.