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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

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“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

[Linda McMahon appears after Vince and Stephanie fail to force JR to apologize over supporting Steve Austin as he Stunnered the McMahons the week before at Raw's USA Network return]

[rebuffing Vince's assurance that they got the situation under control] Well, Vince as your devoted wife and Stephanie, as your mother, I just simply cannot let the two of you continue this way. Last week, when we returned to USA Network, it was a wonderful opportunity for a new beginning for the entire McMahon family. It was a chance for a clean slate. The only way to garner respect from people is not, Vince, by yelling and screaming, or Steph, by pitching a fit. It's by taking action. [to JR] So, JR, on behalf of the entire [looks at Vince and Stephanie] McMahon family... [long pause] YOU'RE FIRED!! [gives JR a low blow as Vince and Stephanie gleefully mock him bawled over]

Eddie Guerrero has passed away. Eddie was in the prime of his life, 38 years old, the prime of his career. So tonight, we celebrate the life of Eddie Guerrero. Eddie Guerrero loved this business. He loved it, he had a passion for it like no one else. Eddie loved to perform more than anything else, whether he was booed or whether he was cheered, he loved to perform for all of you. Eddie's goal every night, Eddie's goal every night was to steal the show. So tonight there's no doubt in anyone's mind that Eddie would want the show to go on and, so it shall tonight as we pay tribute to the memory of Eddie Guerrero. At this time, I would ask you all to stand in silence as we toll the bell 10 times, after which, there'll be a special video presentation. So if you would all please stand. Thank you.

Today you're gonna hear a lot of things from a lot of people. Some you like, some you don't. But the one constant you're gonna hear, the one that rings true, more truer than anything else, and everywhere that's said, is Eddie Guerrero was a great man. He uh, was one of the most passionate individuals about everything that he did I've ever met. On a personal level, when I didn't know anything here, he helped me not only as an in-ring partner, but uh, as a father figure. The stuff that you don't necessarily teach. The uh, the hip tosses and bodyslams. Eddie Guerrero went past that and taught me to find this. [gestures to his heart] That's through all his, his technical prowess, that's what Eddie had best. He had this. And he taught me to find it, he taught me to embrace it. Good, bad, or indifferent. My condolences go out to the Eddie Guerrero family, and I know those in the locker room who were close to him. Chavo of course, Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio, Dean Malenko. Eddie was a man of faith, so I know he's in a better place, but selfishly, every single one of us will miss him. We love you Eddie.

My memories of Eddie Guerrero have nothing to do with wrestling, nothing to do with the ring, because I never wrestled the man. It's all about faith. Eddie and I had a lot of wonderful talks about our faith, we were both born-again Christians, and the one thing I do know, we are assured of, that Eddie's last breath here was his first breath in eternity; and Eddie Guerrero and "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels will someday get to wrestle in what is the very biggest stage of them all and it isn't WrestleMania, it is in the heavenlies in front of a crowd of one, and that is the lord of lords and the king of kings, Jesus Christ. And I want to thank Eddie Guerrero for always being there to be able to share that common faith with and to let him know that he did something that nobody has ever been able to do in the history of this business, and that is bring everybody in the WWE, from the top man to the bottom guy, bring them all together in prayer in the name of Jesus, and Eddie Guerrero left his last and greatest witness here with us today. And Eddie, I want to say God bless you and I will see you again, my friend.

RMRey Mysterio

Eddie Guerrero, my brother, mi carnal del alma...I know you're listening to me while I say these words. Putting wrestling aside...got a lot of good memories, that you left behind in my heart. Not only for me, but for my family, my son Dominik, my wife...your family and my family bonded real good. I'm gonna miss you; I miss you right now. I wish you were here with me. Wish this thing was, was a whole dream, and I can wake up and...you were still here with us. Everybody misses you, Eddie.

I love you, Eduardo. Te quiero mucho, guey. Te extraño. Que Dios te bendiga. [pauses, looking down and undoing the chin strap on his mask. looking back up] We're gonna miss you, Eddie. You're a big inspiration to everybody. As a fan, as a person, as a human being...you had a good presence, you had such a great presence...I love you. [blows a kiss to the camera, sighs, and puts his head down, ultimately taking off his mask before the camera fades out]

Eddie Guerrero is my best friend, and um I'm sure there's a lot of people that he knew that would be able to say the, the same thing about him. He was such a beautiful person, such a kind-hearted person, um, I couldn't find the, the right, I couldn't find the words, words couldn't describe what, what kind of a, a human being Eddie truly was. Um, I'd, I've known Eddie for just about 15 years and spent a good portion of those 15 years with him on the road. Uh, we'd laugh together, cry together, you know, fought each other, but we've, we've been up and down each and every mountain, each and every highway. Um, and Eddie, Eddie, Eddie always led by example. You know he, he was, he was the one friend that I had that I, that I could go to and pour my heart out to if I was going through something, if, if, if I had a personal issue or a personal problem, he was the one guy that I could call and, and, and talk to, and, and know that he would understand and, and he would, he would, he would talk me out of it, you know, because of, of all the experiences that, that he'd been through. I, I believe in leading by example, and Eddie always led by example through his life. Through, through, the obstacles that he went through and, and, and conquered and became a better person, and, and he'd often use that as an example. Um, a lot of times we'd, we traveled on the road together, so, and, now on the road, it's so chaotic and so, I mean, from the time we got up in the morning, we'd be 2 hours behind schedule. But we, it was fine because we, we'd pull up to a gym and we'd find ourselves sitting outside the gym for up to an hour, hour and a half, just talking. We'd just sit there, sit in the car, talking. Talking about life, talking about the past, present, future. We'd just talk about life. Eddie was, was that, that kind of friend to me. And, and not only then, but you know, after the show, it was, it'd be, it'd be 1 in the morning. And we'd be sat in a car till, you know, 3 in the morning, talking about life, talking about things and issues and problems and, and, um, everything. We'd talk about everything. And, we never, we never left each other without telling each other that we loved each other. And I, I, I can truly say that I, I love, I love Eddie Guerrero. He's, he's, he's a man that, that, that I can say I love. And I love his family. And my heart and my thoughts and my prayers go out to his wife Vickie, Shaul, Sherilyn, and Kaylie. I can't imagine the sorrow that, that they're going through right now and, and the emotions that, that they're feeling. But I want them to know that my, my prayers and my thoughts are, are with them. And Eddie, I, I know, I know that, that you, you're in a better place. And I know that you're looking down on me right now. And only know that I love you, and I miss you. [breaks down crying] Eddie you made, you made such a great impression on, on my life, and I want to thank you for everything you've ever given me. And I wanna thank you from my heart, and tell you that I love you and I'll never forget you, and that we'll see each other again. I love you Eddie.

All right. Well as, as promised, as promised, [throws the microphone]

Well, looks like the sound man is gonna be fired tonight as well! [McMahon demands a new microphone] Oh ho! [A technician hands McMahon a new microphone] You hand Mr. McMahon a microphone, you don't throw it at him!

You don't throw it at all.

MMcMahon

Well as promised, last week we took out the trash! [crowd cheers] That's not some sort of bait and switch technique, not some sort of adoration. Last week, I fired Eric Bischoff's ass. And I can tell you this, Eric Bischoff is gonna stay fired. Not withstanding that, I'd like to thank Eric for his contributions and I'd like to wish he and his family a very merry Christmas.

That's very sincere.

He's a very warm man.

MMcMahon

Now of course everyone's been asking me, Mr. McMahon, who's gonna be named the new general manager of Raw? I have some suggestions on that matter. Matter of fact, a number of individuals come to mind who are imminently qualified. One might be um, my daughter Stephanie McMahon.

Whoa!

MMcMahon

My son Shane McMahon! It might be one of those individuals, it may not be. There was some guy knocking on my door all afternoon trying to get in for an interview. The hell is his name? He wanted to be general manager, Theo Epstein. Then again, maybe not. Hell if Ted Turner wants to get quite, quote, back in the rasslin business, it could be Ted himself. It could be one of you.

Oh!

MMcMahon

Just ribbing, it's not gonna be one of you. I can tell you. But nonetheless, tonight, the interview process begins to determine the general manager of Raw, or I can tell you, an individual has been, has been assigned tonight to be the interim general manager for tonight, and that individual is thought of as a business icon. He's thought of as a creative genius, and one handsome virile son of a bitch.

Uh-oh.

MMcMahon

And that would be me, Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

I knew it!

MMcMahon

So tonight, I'm gonna take up where Eric Bischoff left off when Eric named the Elimination Chamber to be the main event at New Year's Revolution. By the end of tonight, we will know every member, every individual who will qualify to be in that Elimination Chamber. Because we're gonna begin with elimination matches here tonight.

Uh-oh.

JSJoey Styles

That's gonna be great.

MMcMahon

By the end of the night, all five individuals will have qualified to be in the chamber and face WWE Champion John Cena. And with that in mind, we will start with our very first qualifying match right now, and by the way, you will note, during this individual's entrance, you the audience, will not be censored. Thank you very much. Have a good night.

Last week, I watched WWE's Tribute to the Troops, and it brought a tear to my eye. Seeing the WWE superstars interact with the men and women protecting our nation really brought some things into focus. It truly made me realize how proud I am...that I didn't go on that damn trip to Afghanistan. [crowd boos] Don't even get me started on our soldiers. They sit around and complain that the people back home have forgotten them? You're damn right they have, 'cause you haven't done a damn thing since you've been over there! I mean come on! You build a couple of schools and you think you deserve a medal?! News flash, that's your job! You know who's been forgotten? Kurt Angle. You never heard me complain about waking up at 5 in the morning for ten solemn years, to win this country a gold medal in the Olympics, with a broken neck, only to come back home and hear the audience chant, "you suck!" The same audience that wants me to give up my precious time to visit a bunch of soldiers who cry about being far from home?! Hey guys, WAKE UP! There hasn't been a draft since Vietnam! You all volunteered for this, idiots! So keep your mouths shut and do your DAMN JOB! Nobody paid me for the sacrifices I made to go to the Olympics, unlike the men and women of the military. That's right, they get paid. Hell, they probably couldn't get a job back at home anyway. And if I have to hear another story about "my poor baby daughter who I left back at home, wah wah wah wah", hey, you chose to leave because you couldn't handle the responsibility. And now you have the audacity to bitch about it! EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, AND ANYONE WHO SYMPATHIZES WITH YOU, MAKES ME SICK!

[After Jerry "The King" Lawler humiliates Joey Styles on Raw]

Let me just say this: uh, during the break, I apologized to the fans here; right now, I wanna take this opportunity to apologize to you, Joey Styles, my fault, just trying to have a little fun, it got out of hand! I'm sorry, come back out and let's finish the rest of this show. My bad. Come on, Joey. [the crowd cheers] Come on, Joey! Come on back out here! [as Joey marches back out into the arena] Come on.

[Joey stands on the ramp and does not return to the desk]

JSJoey Styles

You want to apologize? Like nothing happened. Like you didn't knock me on my ass in front of millions of people worldwide, and I'm gonna come down there and work with you? I'm not coming back, and now, thanks to the magic of live television, I’m gonna show the whole world why for seven years in ECW, I was the unscripted, uncensored, loose cannon of commentary! Six months ago, WWE called me! I didn’t call this company because I was looking for a job. I didn’t need a job. WWE called me, because they had humiliated and fired, again, Jim Ross. So I get JR’s spot, and from WEEK ONE, week after week, I've got an ongoing lecture about the differences in professional wrestling and sports entertainment. I'm not allowed to say "pro wrestling", I'm not allowed to say "wrestler"; I have to say "sports entertainment", and refer to the wrestlers as "superstars". I'm told to deliberately ignore the moves and the holds during the matches so I can tell stories. Well, ignoring the moves and the holds is damn insulting to the athletes, the wrestlers, not the entertainers, who leave their families 300 days a year to ply their craft in that ring! So here’s the best part. Because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller, I get pulled from WrestleMania, and the reason I’m given is, is because I don’t sound like Jim Ross, who’s the guy they fired in the first place, that makes sense, right? So I swallow the bitter pill, I’m a company guy. I get bumped from WrestleMania. Then I get bumped...from Backlash? I'm not good enough to call Backlash?! In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn't done before me, hasn't been done since! But I'm not good enough to call Backlash because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well, you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders! I am sick of boogers and bathroom humor and semen, and I am sick of our chairman, who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God - he mocks God! - and makes out the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am SICK of sports entertainment, and most of all, I'm sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! [the crowd boos] I never needed this job, and I don’t want this job anymore. [takes the collar bearing the WWE logo off the microphone and throws it aside] I quit! [walks out]

Jerry [putting his headset back on]: You know...we brought Joey Styles up from the gutter and it looks like he just got homesick; maybe Joey Styles will feel more at home in a bingo hall, kissing Paul Heyman's ass! Idiot.

RVRob Van Dam

Chill out, champ. In fact, savor the time you have with that title while I explain something here. See I have a shot at the championship, which is something that was not easy to come by. No, in fact, the only way this came about is because I forced it. I won the Money in the Bank match at WrestleMania. Otherwise, I would never have been awarded what I deserve. So I wanna tell you something, John. I'm not gonna waste this opportunity here, where I can, and probably will, get screwed out of what I earned. Instead, I'd like to see this take place somewhere where I'm a lot more comfortable. Somewhere where the conditions work extremely well in my favor.

Wait a minute.

VDVan Dam

I'm cashing in the Money in the Bank. June 11, at One Night Stand!

Wait a minute!

Wow!

He can't do that, can he?!

Yes he can!

Wow! That's...

He has the opportunity between now and WrestleMania next year. Anywhere.

At ECW's One Night Stand?

Anywhere anytime, King. That's the deal. Pretty smart move by Van Dam. Talk about a home field advantage. He's got a heck of a home field advantage at One Night Stand.

Ladies and gentlemen, chairman of WWE, Mr. McMahon.

Thank you, and good evening. World Wrestling Entertainment is a promotional juggernaut. It is the most successful promotional juggernaut in history, having well-established its pre-eminent brands of Raw and SmackDown!, the WWE has recently announced the recreation of a third brand, ECW, which premieres tomorrow night at 10 o'clock, 9 o'clock Central on Sci Fi. ECW's representative, Paul Heyman made it very clear at the, at the top of the show, in which Mr. Heyman stated that we have a new WWE Champion, and his name is Rob Van Dam. Not withstanding the recreation of this third brand, there, there're other things I would like to discuss with you tonight. That is, what happened to the, the chairman of the board last week here on Raw. It's one thing for me to establish a kiss my ass club. It's quite another for someone who is to join to turn that around, kick me in the guts, wrench my arms behind my back, and drive me down to the canvas, thus exposing my dairy air in an involuntary basis. There were children who watch this show. I want Triple H to think about that. And something else I want Triple H to think about is what happened to his buddy not long ago, Shawn Michaels. When Shawn Michaels crossed my path, I sent the Spirit Squad on Mr. Michaels. All five of them. Mr. Michaels is no longer in action. So tonight, Triple H must be taught a lesson. A lesson he will never forget. And yes, I will once again use the Spirit Squad to teach that lesson. However tonight, what happened to Shawn Michaels was just too quick. Tonight will be slow. Tonight I'm gonna dismember Triple H limb by limb, until there's absolutely nothing left in a gauntlet match. All five members of the Spirit Squad dismembering Triple H. So tonight, after it's all over, I assure you, Triple H will in fact, reunited with Shawn Michaels. On the highway to hell!

[Rob Van Dam is defending the WWE Championship against Edge and John Cena in a Triple Threat match]

Van Dam pulls himself back up. But Cena's there waiting. [Cena lifts RVD on his shoulders for an FU] Cena now,

Here we go!

Cena with the FU, can he do it? Can John Cena do it if he does? [Cena hits the FU on RVD] Yes!

Got him!

Cena did it! [Edge suddenly comes in and hits Cena with the WWE Championship belt]

Oh no!

My God! Cena - wait a minute! [Edge covers RVD] Edge with the belt! Edge with the count! [the referee counts three, resulting in Edge winning the match and the WWE Championship] Edge! Edge! Edge has just, Edge is the WWE Champion!

Here is your winner, and the new WWE Champion, Edge!

Oh my gosh! Oh ho ho ho ho!

John, exactly! John Cena delivered the FU on Van Dam! Cena had the match won, but Edge used the WWE Championship title belt to dim Cena's lights! To, and snatch the title right away from John Cena!

But one thing's for sure. The WWE title is back on Raw! Thank goodness!

Rob Van Dam has lost the WWE title. Edge has won the WWE Championship. [Edge checks on Lita]

Look at Lita.

John Cena with the FU, had this match won. I don't give a damn about Lita, King!

Hello out there to all my fans right there in San Antonio, Texas! It's me Mick Foley in the WWE Studios and I know what a lot of you are thinking. You're thinking, "Isn't that the shirt Mick wore when he was interviewed by Katie Couric on Halloween a few years ago?" You're darn right it is, but I'm not here to talk about Katie Couric right now, or the beautiful Melina for that matter. I'm here to talk about the Nature Boy - Whooo! - Ric Flair and comments he made about me. You see, Ric was on the show last Monday actually bragging about beating me two straight falls in a two out of three falls match. You see Ric, I have a different take on things, you see I seem to remember you bludgeoned, bloody with your family in tears, which begs the question: Just what world do you inhabit Ric, where all those things can be construed as a positive!? How much worse could it have possibly have gotten!? Are you really under the impression I was trying to win the match? Because if I had been, I would have! The barbed wired bat under the ring was no accident, Ric. From the very get-go, I intended to leave you laying, and that is exactly what I did. And you're out there saying Mick Foley posing a challenge, anywhere, anyplace any match of your choosing. Well let me see... uh... I don't want to wrestle you anywhere, anyplace, in any type of match ever! What part of "no rematch" do you not understand? Let me put it in the words of a famous song: A no, no, no, no, a no, no, no, no, a no, no, no, No rematch Ric! Yeah!

Hello everybody, it's Mick Foley again in the WWE Studios and since we're live and since nobody can really stop me, I thought I'd give a shout out to my good friend Melina. Great match on Monday, I was really proud of you. But I'm really not here to talk about a Monday match, I'm here to talk about Ric Flair's hardcore match with the Big Show on ECW. And Ric, I was impressed. I mean you got down, you got dirty, you got hardcore! You broke out the barb wire bat! You used thumbtacks, laying in a pile of them and as it turns out, you did it all in vain, Ric. Because no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how badly you wish I could grow something you could check out first hand, you get no rematch! See, three things happened at Vengeance Ric, I came, I saw, I kicked your old ass! And I have nothing left to prove to you! Now if you really want to me like Mick Foley, don't stop with the barb wire and thumbtacks. Wear a flannel on TV next week, drive a used mini-van, and sit in seat 26C next to the crapper! Or repeat after me as a paraphrase and old Michael Jackson song: He's out of my life, damned indecision and cursed pride. And it cuts like a knife, you're out of my life! You washed-up piece of crap! Yeah!

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