[Re: Woolsey] Sometimes when I walk past his quarters at night, I can hear him crying.
What...Really?
No.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
PDr. Parrish
Look at this, huh? It's a plant not unlike the begonia eiromischa!
[despairingly] Oh, God. Lorne warned me about this.
Come to think of it, I think it might have been those little green berries with the purple specks on them, because my tongue did seem a little bit numb afterwards ...
Yeah, FYI, this conversation ended six seconds ago.
Yeah, um, anyway, on the way back I had an idea.
Well, have a little lie down. It'll pass.
[Woolsey introduces Shen Xiaoyi to the technician team]
Hello there, Chet.
CChuck
It's Chuck.
Excuse me?
CChuck
It's Chuck, sir. My name is Chuck.
Oh, of course! Chuck. Chet's on the late shift.
CChuck
[after Woolsey leaves, irritated] There is no Chet!
You realize it's highly unlikely you're actually gonna find anything?
Well, then I will have wasted an hour of my time and you'll be able to tell me "I told you so." If, on the other hand, I do find something, perhaps they'll name something after me for a change. [he exits]
[Rodney pauses for a few seconds]
[going after Zelenka] Wait!
You'll think of something.
Really? What makes you so sure?
Because you're brilliant.
That's true! Doesn't mean I'm going to... wait a minute. What did you say? Why did you say that? What are you sick? Am I sick? What have you heard?!
Neat.
"Neat"?!
Yeah well, she caught me off guard, what did you want me to say? What would you have said?
Uh, "Weird."
I'm Doctor Rodney McKay! Difficult takes seconds, impossible, a few minutes!
Bill Nye, in the background, turns and looks at McKay, annoyed]
[McKay is trying to disengage from a conversation with Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson]
We'd better go get our seats.
[McKay and Dr. Keller leave. Tyson and Nye turn to watch them go]
NTNeil Tyson
No way they're dating.
Bill Nye makes a noise of agreement]
[to Tyson, referring to Dr. Keller] You're married, so...Dibs.
Bill Nye makes an appreciative sound while looking off-screen, obviously at Dr. Keller's butt]
RReceptionist
I'll just need you both to sign this non-disclosure and confidentiality agreement. [he heaves two thick documents onto the counter in front of McKay and Keller with a "thud"]
Oh, you're not serious.
RReceptionist
[sharply] Is there a problem, sir?
This whole thing is a confidentiality agreement?!
RReceptionist
[again, sharply] Yes, sir.
What could he possibly be doing back there that needs to be kept two hundred pages secret?!
RReceptionist
If you want to go inside, sir, you need to sign the agreement.
Dinosaurs?
RReceptionist
Excuse me?
Do they have living dinosaurs back there? Because I'll sign this if he's brought dinosaurs back to life, but short of that he's out of his mind if he thinks I'm gonna pretend that whatever discovery he has made is so important and so secret that I have to sign the unabridged works of William Shakespeare here.
[holds up her pen, with measured patience] Juuuuuust sign it.
[McKay takes the pen from Keller sheepishly]
[to the receptionist] You're lucky the lady's here.
[Dr. Keller looks at McKay, looking somewhat exasperated]
Neil likes to steal things from me – things like women and theoretical physics ideas.
TTyson
Yeah, but who hasn't stolen an idea from the great Rodney McKay?!
Oh, so we admit it now!
See, back in the day whenever any one of these people came up with a new idea or published a new paper, Doctor McKay here would swear that he was already working on something very similar; just hadn't gotten around to publishing it yet.
TTyson
He'd say things like, "I was about to say that very same thing," or "I was just about to have that same idea"!
Hey, at least I didn't declassify Pluto from planet status. Way to make all the little kids cry, Neil. That make you feel like a big man?
[McKay has just told Tunney that he's going to rescue Dr. Keller. As a result, Tunney is going to have to implement McKay's plan for solving the crisis.]
Last time I checked, you were claiming to be a genius. I already gave you the plan!
MTMalcolm Tunney
...Plan full of holes!
So, fill them!
MTMalcolm Tunney
But what I run into a problem?
Then work around it!
MTMalcolm Tunney
[heisitates, then, in a small voice] You're smarter than me.
[pause]
I know. [he leaves]
MTMalcolm Tunney
[Yelling after McKay] McKay!
[There is no answer from McKay]
MTMalcolm Tunney
[in a panic, returning to the control console] Gaah! This is outrageous! Just when we need him most, he puts this on me, and I'm supposed to...
Bill Nye grabs Tunney by his lapels, then slaps him across the face]
Man up!
[Tunney's space-time bridge experiment has gone awry and can't be shut down, causing the test facility to cool to near-freezing. We see a man in a wheelchair from behind. He has obviously been talking with Bill Nye
SHStephen Hawking-esque mechanical voice
We get it. It works. Shut it down. I'm starting to freeze to my chair.
TTodd
I did not think you would come.
What are friends for?
NNeeva
[Referring to McKay] He complains a lot.
Only when he's awake.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.