“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Alexander Anderson

I must say, this is an excellent museum. Perhaps next time, I'll be allowed to bring the children from the orphanage.

Enrico Maxwell

Of course! That won't be a problem.

Alexander Anderson

[quietly] Next time, I swear I will rip him to bloody pieces...

Walter

I've been informed that a SWAT team is going to storm the building.

Integra

How do you think Alucard is going to handle the situation?

Walter

I imagine he'll feel that they are an obstacle baring his way to the main objective, and history has made clear his favorite tactics for dealing with obstacles.

Integra

Even if they are humans? Just ordinary, ignorant men.

Walter

You seem to sometimes forget who he really is... Alucard, he's a monster.

Hahahahaha! Poor Dandy Man! He looks like a broken rag doll. Our opponent is quite impressive, isn't he? He's stronger than anyone of us could've possibly imagine!

I am… I am so sorry, Major. I suppose this means that, I still have much work to do.

Please! Don't be ridiculous. Zhis is the dawn of our great success. The zhings we've learnt today will serve us well against zhe Alucard in the future. We've gained access to a most extraordinary being, a midian, more than a person, a vampire. I tell you doctor, fifty years of hard work are about to pay off! You will build monsters, turn zhem into soldiers, organize them, train them, supply them, militarize them and command them! Ve are the Last Battalion! Das Letzte Battalion! It is magnificent, my brilliant doctor!

Thank you, Major.

Good... Zhis most delightful show must now draw to an end. It's time we headed back home for a bit, don't you zhink? Captain! Let's bring her home and quickly. We've kept the gentlemen at the opera house waiting long enough. So please let us make haste, I imagine by zhis time they are about ready to explode with anger.

Understood, very serious business indeed. I'll have her at full tilt all zhe way, Major! Da steht, Gang! Alle Klappen, engagiert!

Da steht, Gang! Alle Klappen, engagiert!

Steuerbord, zwanzig!

Steuerbord, zwanzig!

Destination, Jablow, Panther, Schanze. We're coming! And I don't care how many Hundreds or Thousands or Millions or Billions of people try to stop me! Yes! Anyvone who's there, standing in my vay will be destroyed! Welcome to this crazy time… Willkommen zu verrückte Zeit.

Major, looks like you've really got your hands full!

No, things are going vell! It feels as though a veight has finally been lifted from my shoulders. I'm feeling quite satisfied.

Alucard

Hello, Major.

(delighted) Alucard! I'm so happy to see you again, it's been really far too long. (Alucard laughs)

Integra Hellsing

(coldly) What is it that you want?

Hmm? Oh, finally, face-to-face with the Fräulein herself, Sir Integra Hellsing! (bows) It's a pleasure to meet you.

Integra Hellsing

What's the purpose of this- what are you trying to accomplish?! Answer me!

...Ze purpose, you ask? What a silly question, my beautiful Fräulein. Purpose... (chuckles coldly) To put it in ze simplest possible terms, Fräulein, our purpose is a total absence of purpose. You should be avare, Fräulein, zat zere are some people in zis vorld- certain irredeemable lumps- for whom ze means does not require an end. (pause) I speak, of course, of myself.

(adressing the Letzte Battalion troops as he videotapes the feeding) Be sure to eat every bite. If he turns into a ghoul, I vill not be happy.

Oh, vow! I didn't think your decision vould be zat harsh, sir!

Enrico Maxwell

(contemptuously) You are insane. All of you!

Did I just hear somevone from Iscariot questioning my sanity? Zen, let me ask you: If your God would allow my madness to flourish across the globe... zen, wouldn't it seem to you, zat any God like zat, would be just as mad as I? (Maxwell looks furious) Ve are ze finest of ze Third Reich! Do you have any idea how many people we've killed?! I'm insane? Vhat foolishness. You didn't have any objections fifty years ago. But, never mind zat. Try to stop me, then, you self-proclaimed "normal people". But, unfortunately, Iscariot is not my true enemy. My true enemy is Britain, ze Hellsings. Well, really, it's that man, laughing in ze corner back there.

Alucard

... A declaration of war'; excellent! I can't wait to destroy you again!

No matter vhat you do, we will never give up. We will reverse this ridiculous situation as many times as we have to.

Integra Hellsing

Alucard, Seras. Kill him.

Fine, shoot ze messenger, if zis is vhat it comes to. Auf wiedersehen, mein Fräulein. I look forward to meeting you again across ze battlefield.

Alucard, Sir Hellsing. Destroy them. You have your orders.

From the Order of the Sword of Courland, I pledge unto thee 340 souls!

From the Order of Calatrava La Nueva, I pledge 118 souls unto thee!

The Order of Santo Stefano Di Tuscana pledges 257 souls unto thee!

And, from the Order of Malta, 2,457 souls!

The Holy Father has ordered us here. He has promoted you, in absentia, to Archbishop- as befits your task. Congratulations, Your Grace. We, the faithful, here assembled, form Knights of the Ninth Crusade. We are yours to command, Archbishop Maxwell.(offers Maxwell an Archbishop's sash) Employ us as you will.

Enrico Maxwell

Amen! I accept this with all my being! Your target is London- destroy it! Let this new era of Catholic might, this Reconquista- now begin!

Enrico Maxwell

(chuckling coldly) Ahh- to think that a bastard, reviled and spat upon by polite society, would be made an Archbishop, and be given an army.

Director!

Enrico Maxwell

Well, what is it?

(hands him a set of photos) Here- look! (Maxwell scans a photograph of a ship approaching the English coast) It's that carrier- the British one!

Enrico Maxwell

These coordinates- it's moving again? That's absurd! After the damage it took? It's impossible! (his clerics look worried)

Director, the ship's speed is just a few knots- but, it's definitely heading... to London.

Alucard is... coming! (Maxwell hands the photos back to the Deacon)

Enrico Maxwell

Let him come. Hellsing, Millennium and Alucard alike will perish at our feet. (smiles savagely) The Lord will use us as a cudgel to lay his foes in the dust. Now, go- our time as the tool of God's Holy wrath... is BEGUN! (The Vatican gunships begin lifting off and flying towards London)

(staring after them fearfully) Look at them- everyone, charging into Hell with a joyous heart! What man among them can enter such carnage, and hope to return alive?! They're going to die, all of them- and they'll thank God for the battle!

Integra Hellsing

(referring to the bickering Yumie and Heinkel) They want to tie me up, or shoot me? What is it that you want, Anderson?

Alexander Anderson

What do you think? Teaming up against an unarmed woman to do God knows what to her? We're Paladins, not rapists. (Yumie and Heinkel are cowed)

Integra Hellsing

I'm glad we're of one mind- but, I really shouldn't walk home alone. Come on. (she starts walking)

Alexander Anderson

Aye- we'll protect your maiden virtue. (Yumie, Heinkel and the other Iscariot priests look stunned)

Integra Hellsing

(amused) Step lively, Papists.

(furious) YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS! (Iscariot grudgingly follows her and Anderson)

Vhat are ve doing?! How did she rope us all into this?!

This is terrible- Bishop Maxwell's gonna be so angry!

You know, we have sort of taken her into custody- figuratively?

(contemptuous) Please- he's not gonna buy that.

(irritated) Shut your pie hole!

Alexander Anderson

Heinkel- see if you can't find us an automobile. We're a bunch of sitting ducks on foot.

Right!

Father Anderson, do you think this is wise? Your obedience will be called into doubt.

Alexander Anderson

Let them call it into doubt, if they dare. There's something about Maxwell's methods, that just don't sit right with me.

Seras Victoria

(having been badly injured and blinded by Zorin Blitz) Mr Bernadotte- say something!

(having been mortally wounded by Zorin) Jesus- what a bloody bear.

Seras Victoria

What did she do?!

(chuckles weakly) You came charging in, to save me- and now, I have to save you. What the Hell. (lights a final cigarette, Seras crawls weakly towards him)

Seras Victoria

Why didn't you run away?

(chuckles, then coughs blood) Finally stole that kiss! Took you being blind, but I got it!

Seras Victoria

(sadly) Bernadotte...

Hey now, what's with the tears? I had a damn good run, Seras. (pause) Now, suck my blood. Take me into yourself... so we can win this fight. (keels over) I told you- don't waste your tears on a mercenary. (Seras pulls him upright and embraces him) You lost those pretty blue eyes of yours, trying to save me- you lost your arm, too. What a waste, foolish Ma Chere. Another time, maybe- another place. You are a rare woman, Seras. I die, so that she can live- all right. (dies)

(to herself) It's not possible- it's bullscheize! She's cutting through my reinforcements- Gott, she's headed straight for me!

Seras Victoria

(enraged) Even if I were about to die, I wouldn't drink a single Goddamn drop of your evil blood. I don't want you inside of me!! (slams Zorin's head against the floor)

Seras Victoria

Oh, God...

Hahahahaha! Let's go deeper! Zat's it, even deeper! Yes, take it! Show me your pain! (pause, confused and angry)... Vhat am I looking at?! Zese aren't her memories! Vhat's going on here?! Zis isn't right! Everyzing's in disarray- why can't I go any deeper into her head? It's like zese fucking memories are protecting her!

It's him- zat arrogant mercenary! Zat goddamn gnat!

(pops out of one of the memories) Blood is ze currency of ze soul. Ze vehicle of life. Having blood offered... is a very different experience, zan taking it. (pause) Are you okay? (chuckles) You look awful.

How are you here?

Don't act so surprised, Zorin. As zey say, I am everyvhere and novhere. (bows) I am here to deliver a message from ze Major- straight from our fearless leader's mouth! "Every soldier dreams of leading ze charge against ze foe- such is their revard. But, a long-suffering commander- vhat is his revard vhen zey fail, vhen zey go against orders, lose men, and prove zemselves inept?" (beams) Zat's ze message. Under normal circumstances, zey would have burned you to a crisp long before now, but- ze Major and Doc got zeir hands on zis fascinating new toy, and zey don't have time to deal vit you. (chuckles) And Seras seems to have you pretty vell taken care of. Such a paradox- zis monster is Seras Victoria, yet not Seras Victoria. Rest assured, she'll be ending your unlife any moment now. Auf Wiedersehen. (vanishes)

(sighs in ecstasy) Zis is it- vhat my eyes have so longed for. Ahh- vhat a sight.

For vhat it's worth, Zorin's dead, sir. Killed by a gnat.

(chuckles) Vell, zat's hardly a surprise. Watch how it burns, boy- like ze end of ze Gotterdämerung.

(amused)... Major, you're such a meanie. You bring a whole army vith you- but really, zey're nothing but kindling for your own personal bonfire

(pause, smiles) What is Hell, if not a bonfire? I am become Death- I am ze serpent, devouring myself. I take, and am taken from, vithout end. How many days, of wild aspiration- how many nights, of black entropy, have I slain, to witness zis triumph? Our destruction approaches... together vit our victory!

Enrico Maxwell

(via loudspeaker, above the battlefield) Enemies stand to our left- enemies stand to our right! Eradicate all who stand before you! Execute them all- Kill them! DESTROY!

(frantically) Major! Do you hear me?! Please, come back inside! Ze armor plating von't hold out for long! (the Major ignores him) Major- (he stops himself as he sees the Major sweeping his hands back and fourth in dramatic gestures)... He thinks zat it is music! Music of ze battlefield! (pause) Ze Major... he's conducting it! Ze battle is his symphony, and ve are his instruments- great, howling instruments, vailing his cacophonous notes! How could anything stand against him?!

We found our target! He's on toppa the airship!

What the Hell is he doing? He's a-crazy- a mad ghost of war! (he trains the helicopter's gatling guns on the Major, who strikes a pose)

Major!

Die! (at that moment, microfilament wires slash the gunship to bits; the wreckage plummets and explodes)

(grins) Quick und excellent vork... my butler. (he, Doc and Schrödinger glance behind them to see a rejuvenated Walter, standing next to the Captain)

Alucard

My Lord and Master, Integra Hellsing! GIVE ME YOUR ORDERS!

Integra Hellsing

Alucard, take heed: Here are your orders. Your silver gun shall stain the white army crimson. Your iron gun shall stain the black army scarlet. I would know my foes by the stains of red you leave upon their chests! Now, search and destroy! Search and destroy! Run them down- do not let any of them leave the island alive!

Alucard

My master... It shall be done, as you command.

Integra Hellsing

Release Control Art Restriction: Zero! Announce your return- say the words, and release your full power! NOW!

Alucard

(exhales deeply) "I am... the Bird of Hermes." (on the carrier, the enchanted seals on Alucard's coffin break) Here standeth the Bird of Hermes- eating my own wings!"

Alexander Anderson

It's as if everyone here can feel it... something terrible is about to happen. If we can't put this monster down... we may all be doomed.

Alucard

(finishing his incantation as he is peppered with firepower) "To keep...myself... tame." (his coffin begins to open)

(atop the Deus Ex Machina, gleefully) Here it comes- I can feel it! A mighty river; a river of death! Ze dead shall dance... and all of Hell shall sing!

Alexander Anderson

(staring forlornly at Maxwell's body, which has been impaled by Alucard's Wallachian cavalry) You were such a foolish boy. A stupid, foolish boy. (he closes Maxwell's eyes and starts walking away, speaking into his earpiece) This is Father Anderson, calling all Paladins. We're returning to the Vatican. (elsewhere, Yumie, Heinkel and the other Iscariots look shocked) The Ninth Crusade Expeditionary Force- Reconquista- has been completely destroyed. Dawn's approaching- our dreams are dashed. We're returning to the Vatican.

Anderson! You're not serious!

Alexander Anderson

It's not your place to die here! Retreat! Return to the Vatican- protect the Pope! Protect the Church, until the End of Days! (he advances towards Alucard's army of familiars) As for me, I'm gonna be staying behind. I will find Alucard, and I will defeat him!

Anderson! What do you think is gonna happen if you fight him?!

Alexander Anderson

It doesn't matter- it's now, or never. Finally, Alucard has unlocked the last of the restraints upon his power. He's finally in a form I may be able to do damage to! The last of his demonic powers have finally been laid bare- he has dispatched all of the warriors from his stronghold. Right now, the Lord of the manor stands alone. For the first time, I can face a single vampire in combat. Dracula... stands alone. (pause) This... all this was the sole objective of that mad battalion commander. It was a giant sacrifice, designed to make Alucard vulnerable. A thousand SS vampires, three thousand Crusaders, a million British citizens- all of them friend and foe, alike. And, finally... he knew I'd be here. Farewell, gentlemen! Do not weep for Maxwell, the poor hapless fool. He died as he lived: a spineless coward. Farewell- and may we meet again in limbo.

Anderson!

Father Anderson!

Walter

You've broken my new toy... Still! I've got you cornered! This is it, Alucard!

Alucard

Yes... it's time to put an end to this dance.

Vhat took you so long? (grins at Seras) Strike me down, Fraulein; you do me a kindness! (Seras decapitates him)

Integra Hellsing

...They all die with a smile. They smile... because death is what they came here to obtain.

Seras Victoria

If they wanted it so damn badly, then they should have staked themselves, or jumped into a fire, or maybe not become vampires at all!

(over the loudspeakers) You make it sound so simple, little girl, vould that it were! But you see, mere death means nothing to us. I blush to admit it, but we seem to have painted ourselves into a bit of a corner. For all of our successes this night, we are but relics of a bygone age. "Never again!" Zey cried, pushing us out of mind, denying us our legacy. But none of us are eager to die. None of us simply want our existence to simply stop, like a watch no one vill bother to wind up. Zat vould be pointless. If we are to die, it must be a battle that shakes the very timbers of Valhalla, and nothing less! (the Captain appears at the end of the passage, blocking Seras and Integra's way) Zat is what brought us here- the scent of a worthy fight. Ve are starving, you see, but nothing fills us, nothing slakes this appetite. Ze good people of London were but a snack! Ze world is a big plate, and a man might murder his neighbor for a multitude of reasons. Mein gott, ze potential! Zere is pleasure in a rout, but a true warrior must find a worthy foe, even if it takes him half a century. For us to die, there must be sturm und drang, like the world has never dared imagine! Otherwise, we are like ze crew of Vagner's Flying Dutchman, drifting forever. That is what you mean to us- our last chance to come ashore. I tip my hat to you Hellsing, thou Royal Order of Protestant Knights! You are vunderbar, truly! You bring us something precious; victory or death! Which one, I do not know, but it will be sublime!

Seras Victoria

(eyeing the Captain) Master Integra, you need to go on ahead.

Integra Hellsing

(surprised) Seras!

Seras Victoria

Find him- and skewer that little toad! Every word out of his mouth, is like poison- if I have to keep hearing it, I'll go mad! :(Integra pauses, then smiles and nods)

Integra Hellsing

All right- but don't you die. That, I would never forgive. (pulls a cigar from her pocket)

Integra Hellsing

Hmph- such a good dog. (drops her cigar, walks down the passage until she is next to the Captain) Now, play dead. (She walks on, Seras and the Captain both take up battle stances)

Integra

SHOW YOURSELF! (the Major's chair swivels around and he grins at her)

Ahh, Wilkommen! Fraulein, I'm so glad we finally get to meet each other in ze flesh.

I don't think that gun is going to be very helpful. Sorry- I should have warned you about ze glass.

I feared you might not make it here in time for ze main event! What a tragedy zat would have been. You see, zis extravaganza is one night only. Luckily, I've got ze best seat in ze house, and a winsome Hellsing on my arm! (he returns to his chair)

Integra

You coward!

You are in for such a treat! Enjoy!

You know, you only see zis sort of thing happen once a century. In fact, ze last time zis happened was back in 1898, it's been a while, ja? But zis time ze tragic hero Alucard... will utterly cease to exist when ze curtain falls!

Integra

He'll what?!