Alright fine, I can't do it! I don't trust them to CATCH me! Do you hear me? I don't trust them! (Echoes)
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
MMarty
[to Death as he is about to leave] Hey loser! Here's your complimentary shirt, you loser! [holds up a T-shirt that says "I GOT DOGGED AT THE HOT BUNS DOGGERY" while laughing mockingly]
[to Marty; threateningly] You better enjoy the next few days, 'cause your deadline just got moved up, BIG TIME! [leaves on his motorcycle as the back tire splashes mud onto the countertop, Marty, and the shirt he's holding]
I tried to turn it off, but every time I did, the baby would start crying again. They played all 8 seasons; 257 episodes back to back. When Starla and her sister found me the next day, I was crying in a ball on the floor.
It sounds like that show messed you up pretty bad.
That must be what's causing your nightmares.
What's going on?! Why are we locked up?!
(Kessler then throws a bag of Amadeus Dollars to Mordecai)
You tell me. You and your buddies' prints are all over these counterfeit Amadeus Dollars.
Counterfeit?!
Don't be cute with me. We've been on the case for months. Your funny money scam is GOING DOWN! (bangs her fists on table) DOWN TO PRISON TOWN, YOU HEAR ME?! PRISON!!!
FREEZE, BEAR!
Bros! The feds said we could help save you!
Cannit, Mitch! Okay, Papa Bear, the jig is up. Drop the gun, and no one gets hurt.
LLouie
I'd be careful if I were you. (laughs)
MMale officer
Drop the gun, big guy!
DRDuck Robot
Hold up, square! (cocks her gun) Y'all better put your guns down, NOW!
The last few weeks I have spent with you have been the best weeks of my life. I feel like we are growing closer every day, and nobody makes me happier than you do. Margaret, (holds both of Margaret's hands with love. Margaret has a sad expression on her face) will you be my girlfriend?
Mordecai, there's something I need to tell you. For the first time ever, I feel like I can be in a relationship that can actually go somewhere...but there's this. (shows him a torn open envelope with a letter inside it, that shows it's from Milten University; Mordecai has a shocked expression on his face; then starts tearing up) I got into my dream school. I really like you Mordecai, and what we have is special, but I may never get this opportunity again. (starts crying) I'm sorry, but... I can't be your girlfriend. (gets up and runs away)
Cease fire!
Dude, Margaret's important to me. I can't just forget her.
Okay, okay. You don't have to forget her, but you have to get over her for real. Staying like this is messed up, and is messing you up. I want my friend back.
Well, if you were a real friend, you'd understand.
I am your friend. You would realize that, if you weren't such a sad sack chump!
[enraged] That's it!
(Enraged that Rigby called him a sad sack chump, Mordecai angrily stops the car and violently shoves Rigby out of the car and furiously drives away)
Ah, man! (Rigby sighs and starts running after him)
[moving the refrigerator in a different place] This is gonna take forever.
[Jack asks V.I.C.K.I. to shut down the arm cannon, then he shoots Mordecai and Rigby, then Benson pushes Mordecai and Rigby to save their lives, and V.I.C.K.I. destroys his car]
JJack
Whoo! Bummer about your car, man! At least that explosion was pretty awesome. Totally satisfied my violent urges, you know what I'm saying? Hey, can I get the other 250 bucks?
POLICE!!!
JJack
Brain check. Got it, Brah. [Police get Jack, then he acrobat backwards into the bushes]
GRRAHHHHH... YOU!!!!!
Thanks for saving us, Benson!
Yeah, thanks, man!
Damage to the house, damage to my car — my bus fare for the NEXT MONTH!!! YOU'RE PAYING FOR ALL OF IT!!!!
[Mordecai and Rigby groan, as Benson leaves in fury]
He didn't say to clean up this mess, but--
[sighs] Yeah, let's get started.
Oh Mordecai, check this out.
[they both lift up the sparkling unscathed windshield, with Muscle Man and Fives passing by]
Told you my guy was good.
JJimbros
Jimbros Burritos! Jimbros Burritos! Jimbros Burritos! Jimbros Burritos!
JJimbo
We are the Jimbros! Jimbo!
JJimmy
Jimmy!
JJim
Jim!
JJimbo
Introducing our new Every Meat Burrito! It's got every meat: Beef!
JJimmy
Bacon!
JJim
Crow!
JJimbo
Gator!
JJimmy
Bison!
JJim
Jackal!
JJimbo
Puffin!
JJimmy
Crustacean!
JJim
Naked Mole Rat...
JJimbo
[while animal names and meat appear for a split second] And every other! [it shows a pile of meat rolling into a ball, going into the meat grinder. After it comes out of the meat grinder, it starts getting wrapped in a tortilla, turning into an Every Meat Burrito, then cuts to the "Jimbros Burritos" logo] JIMBROS BURRITOS! JIMBROS BURRITOS!
No WAY. The last time I let you borrow my car, you totaled it. DO YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?! [angrily slams the door]
[to Mordecai] You just had to take Margaret to the airport, didn't ya?
Uuuuugh!!! Somebody's gotta have a car.
Oh, hey, Benson. Hey, Skips.
You want to explain why my phone is LEAKING?!?!
Oh — sorry, Benson!
Yeah, we ment to give it back, but then a bunch of... different stuff... happened.
Different stuff?! You mean like the garbage that's all over this room?!
MRMordecai & Rigby
Uhh...
This place is a BIOHAZARD!! I want both of you to clean it up NOW!!!
Both of us?! Rigby's the one who's the slob! Look it his chimichanga! [slush]
He's not wrong.
Well, Mordecai even worse! Look at his junk at the corner! [no junk near Mordecai's bed]
Dude, that's my bed!
[Now red] I don't care who's responsible! But you're gonna have to clean this room if you wanna keep living here, for FREE!!!
"Rigby's to-do list"? "Stay cool. Don't ever change. Have a great summer"? [Rigby snatches the paper back]
Rigby: Okay, fine. [crumbles the paper again] Garbage Hoops then. Who ever misses the trash can first has to clean the room.
I'm not doing this.
Come on, Mordecai what's the big deal? It's just a little game. You're afraid of a little game?
This is your mess, Rigby. Just clean it up!
But it's our room. What's yours is mine, what's mine is-- [Mordecai grunts and snatches the paper back, flips the trash can over and slides it over to the other side of the room. He then throws the paper in a good aim to the trash can.]
Hm, hm! Your turn.
Okay, sure. [Rigby gets another crumbled paper and then warms up for the throw by also grunting.]
RIGBY!
Alright, alright! [He then closes his eyes, pants a little then throws the paper as good as he could, but then he ends up making him miss to get a hit at the center of his bedroom.]
[runs away] Later!
[By not liking the idea of him almost leaving, Mordecai tackles Rigby]
DUDE! Garbage hoops was your idea. You lost, and now you have to clean the room. I'm leaving. [Rigby starts to glare while Mordecai leaves slamming the door shut, startling Rigby.]
Just clean up the room, dude.
Cleaning's for chumps!
Quit being a baby and clean it up.
You quit being a baby and clean it up.
I'LL NEVER CLEAN THIS ROOM! NEVER!
This room is still not clean?!
But--
I'm sick of excuses. You have 24 hours to clean this room, or YOU'RE FIRED!!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.