Hey, guys. Do you need any more-?
SSHHHHH! This is it.
TTV
Your weekend weather forecast. Hope you have your sunglasses ready.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
You probably shouldn't go, Margaret. I bet your boyfriend won't like you going out on a camping trip with you dudes.
Ugh, what boyfriend? Not see anyone right now. Guys are jerks.
Gah, I know, right? Guys are the worst.
Yeah, baby. Go ahead. You can't make it from there. Oh! Oh! Brick!
Ugh!
Oh, snap. Hey, Mordecai, you're looking a little confused. Did you know that we only need one more point to win?
Huh
When are you guys going to get it through your heads? Nothing you say or do will ever make me admit you're cool!
You know what, Benson? I just realized something. We don't care what you think.
GGary
Benson, having known the defendants longer than any other witness, you're in a special position to judge the coolness of my clients, are you not?
Yeah? I guess?
I hope this works.
Dude, he'll never admit it. We're home free!
[laughs] Are those guys cool? [ He laughs again]
JBJudge Broseph Chillaxton
Benson, this is no joke dude. The fate of the universe hangs in the balance. Answer the question and remember,
If we can get you to admit that we're cool, then you have to give us the cart back.
Sounds good to me 'cause it'll never happen.
You're wrong! You're all like "that'll never happen", and then we'll get all cool and you'll be all like "whoa" and then we'll be all like "in your face!"
Ha, then I'll be all like "GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!"
MRMordecai and Rigby
Hey, Margaret.
Hey, is it true? Did you really move out of the house?
Yeah, we did! 'cause Benson got all rulesy!
We had no choice. It was either leave or live with some other dude with rules.
Wow, Mordecai! I didn't know you were such a rebel.
Yep. You know me. Total rebel. [they both laugh]
MMargeret
Well, good night. [almost closes door, but Mordecai stops the action with his foot]
Actually, we don't have anywhere to sleep, so we were hoping you would let us camp out here tonight.
I wish I could, but, my manager has a rule about that kind of thing. [pans over to guy in white shirt. He sticks a paper to the window that reads, "get lost campers"] Sorry, guys.
It's cool. I'm sure we can find some place to crash that isn't so big on rules. Later!
Dude, this is getting intense... [Mordecai is disappointing]
[moans] No! More! RUUUUULES! [zoom out before an earthquake, followed by a gust, occurs, followed by a mysterious laugh]
Hey, guys. Listen, when you've got a minute, I need you to take a look at these.
Sure, Benson. [hands over "Benson's House Rules" book] Oh, the house rules? Thanks, but we already have these.
Uh, no, you don't. Cos I've added a few new ones in there and I'm gonna need you to sign off on them, okay? [leaves]
Aw, man, more rules?! He's gotta be joking!
Alright, let's see. "Rule #114: No feet on the table." [Mordecai and Rigby's feet are on the table, then they take them off, moaning] "Rule #115: No food on the table." [food is seen on the table, so they knock it all off]
Fine!
"Rule #116: No food on the floor."
WHAT?! That's going WAY too far!! [growls while straining himself to lift the table] Come on, man! Help me flip the table!
No, dude, just chill out. There's only one more new rule left.
What is it?
[Mordecai flips the page that says "Rule #117: No video games.", then, a shocked look comes to his face as the camera zooms in. Cut into Benson's office]
No video games!?!
Are you nuts?!
"Rule #47: No yelling!"
You can't take video games away from us, man! What're we supposed to do?!
Work. You're supposed to work.
You know what? We're sick of all your rules! "No prank calls, no rock-paper-scissors, no punchies — no unicorns"? What does that even mean?!
These rules are all totally random, Benson, and they're all aimed at us!
That's not true. "Number 68: no harpsichord playing after 10 pm."
[to Mordecai] I actually kinda like that one.
Yeah, but that's the only good one in there. The rest of them are terrible!
Look, I'm doing you a favor. Life without rules is chaos.
Fine, but we're only signing off on the rules we like.
Yeah, like the harpsichord one!
It doesn't work that way! If you can't agree to live by all the house rules, THEN YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THIS HOUSE!!!
Well then, we won't live in this house!
Yeah, cos your rules are wack!
We'll show you. We're not gonna live with any rules at all.
Well, well, well. Wasn't so easy living without rules, was it? [opens book] Wait a minute. One of these rules is missing.
Oh, no. Which one?
I don't know, there's over a hundred of these things!
Well, then, how do you know it's missing?
[outraged] BECAUSE SOMEBODY RIPPED IT OUT!!!
That's crazy. I wonder which one it is.
NRNo Rules Man
Hmph. Hmph. I don't need those guys, I can play video games by myself. [The ripped page falls onto his lap. It is Rule #117: No Video Games] NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
BTBig Trouble
Nah, I got y'all fools this time, hit it! (V-Tron turns on the radio) (Rapping) You all better watch out, cause Big Trouble's on the mic now, i'll knock all o' your lights out, with my verse, y'all be cursed , blowing up like fireworks. powwwwwwwww!
ADAlpha-Dog
...that's it? Blitz Comet, show this fool how we do.
BCBlitz Comet
(Rapping) Blitz Comet on the scene. You step to me and you gonna get creamed-corn! All up in your teeth, you reek, you're the opposite of chic, ya freak! Your rhymes are all antiques. Nobody wants em, they throw em all away. Right from the get go like your brain is on delay. Matter of fact, yo, you better get a check up. Go ask your doctor, why you be so ugly from the neck UP?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.