Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Help me.
What?
What's your name?
Pops.
It's Pops!
Step over to your right, Pops.
Is this my passport photo for the interwebs?
Sort of.
Ooh, I love photos. I am ready, madame.
Say 'doomed for eternity.'
Doomed for eternity! Oh!
No!
What!? AHHH! What am I gonna do now!?
I dunno dude, but we gotta get that smell off you. It reeks.
[Rigby angrily ticks off; his pupils dilated, his body has grown larger and violently throttles Mordecai]
DON'T TELL ME ABOUT HOW I SMELL! I KNOW IT REEKS! YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW IT REEKS!?
Dude, Bingo!
Bingo?
Bingo, bingo!
Bingo!
Ohhhhh!
Woahhhhh!
YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART DON'T YOU!? "OH LOOK AT ME, I'M SKIPS, I KNOW EVERYTHING BECAUSE I'M SO OLD!" LET ME TELL YA HOW TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMS IN A REALLY LAME WAY! WELL YA KNOW WHAT I THINK!? [angrily grabs Skips] YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'! YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHIN! [drops him]
[coughs twice] Thank...You. [passes out, unconscious]
He still counts as a skunk, right?
Totally counts as a skunk.
I SAID NO! I can play that tape whenever I feel like it, and there's not a darn thing you can do about it. I don't want to see you punks back here again. You're BANNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, guys.
Yeah, sorry.
We didn't mean to ruin your good time.
No, no! I don't wanna hear it. Hey, I don't know what was on that tape or why those guys were after it, but I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. (Turns red) YOU'VE RUINED KARAOKE NIGHT!!!!!!
(Benson and the gang donut-straight outta here, leaving them both Mordecai and Rigby behind)
Yeah, uh– I know, that's why we tried to... apologize... to you. Man, karaoke sucks.
It seems the honorable thing to do is apologize. Oh look! [holds up a joker card with Benson on it] This one is you! [giggles]
[sighs] Alright.
Hmph. [tosses a walkie talkie to Benson]
Mordecai, Rigby, are you there? Pick up!
[reaches for walkie talkie] Let me try. Mordecai, Rigby. Are you there?
(over walkie talkie) Hey Skips.
Tell them I want to talk to them! Tell them!
Where are you? [skips away] Where are you guys?
This wouldn't have happened if you guys had done your job!
No, no, no! You can't get mad this time! You messed up, not us!
Argh! Just LISTEN to me!
You know what, Benson? Forget it. [shoves Benson out of the cart and takes the wheel] Thanks for all your help, but we can get the stick hockey table without you. [he and Rigby drive off]
What the heck?! How am I supposed to get back to the park?!
[laughs] I'm just yanking your chain, man. It's cool.
Huh?
[laughs] OOOOOOOOHHHHH!
[puts hand on Mordecai's shoulder] Uh, he's had enough.
Hm.
Man, Skips is on fire tonight! Another perfect game!
We're going to the championship, baby!
You guys wouldn't be so great if it wasn't for Skips.
Well, we can't help that he's just plain awesome, right, Skips?
Hey, that's just how I roll.
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!
There she is, guys. Isn't she a beaut?
I want that beaut.
So who are we up against?
Some team called the Magical Elements.
The Magical Elements. Hm, hm, more like the Magical Loserments.
What did you say about us?
[Mordecai drives to the Halloween Wizard's house; walks to the door; bangs handle against the door]
Hello? Look, I don't know what you're doing to my friend, but please, just stop! He's sorry for egging your house, okay? So, are we cool? [Mordecai walks to the window; peeks into it; a cat pops up, scaring Mordecai, Mordecai pants]
[on the walkie talkie] Mordecai. [Mordecai gasps] Mordecai, come in.
Yeah, yeah, what's up, Skips?
[on the walkie talkie] You gotta get back to the house, quick!
Sure, be right there.
[Mordecai runs to the cart; The Halloween Wizard grabs his cat out of his window]
[on phone] How do you like the new body? Don't think this is all over, because I'm just getting started. You're gonna pay.
[picks up the phone] Hello? Listen, I don't know who this is, but you better change Rigby back right now, or I--
[emerges his arms from the phone] NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! [starts strangling Benson by the throat]
[teasing Muscle Man] What's the matter, Mitch? Don't have any clever jokes about your mommy?
Don't talk about my mom!
Did you guys see that?!
This is not good.
What are we gonna do then?!
Guys...?
What, what is it?
[A loud knock is heard at the door, someone quietly opens it and a skinless Muscle Man is shown to be the knocker]
I told you I was ripped... [falls forward and dies]
AHHH! [telephone rings] AHHH!
[Hi Five Ghost runs to answer it]
[last words] No, Fives, WAIT!
[answers phone] Hello?
Goodbye! [sucks Hi Five Ghost into the phone and squirts him out as a liquid all over Skips and Mordecai, as Benson vomits his gumballs]
[last words] Worst phone call ever.
[Mordecai and Skips are covered in liquid and Mordecai is pushed against the bookshelf by the Halloween Wizard and is knock unconscious. Benson and Pops scream in terror and hide in rooms while Skips tries punching the Halloween Wizard but the Halloween Wizard trips him]
If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!
[Halloween Wizard throws Skips into the chimney, and fire goes up the chimney and burns Skips as fire goes to the top of the house and Rigby screams, Halloween Wizard runs into the bathroom, opens the shower curtain, and sees Benson]
What's up, gumball?
[Benson screams. Him and his nun chucks are flushed down the toilet, causing his gumballs to rise]
[in bedroom] Show yourself... Bad show, very bad show! [door opens] AHHH!
[Pops fires sling-shot, but it hits the wall, Pops gets thrown into a closet and disappears]
What's happening? Hello, is anybody there? Can anyone hear me?
[wakes up] Rigby?
Mordecai!
Don't worry, Rigby, I'm here. I won't anything happen to you.
[An invisible force comes and chops Mordecai's head off and his head falls to the ground]
[last words] Huh, so this is what it feels like to be as tall as Rigby.
[Mordecai gags and dies]
Mordecai? Mordecai? I'm sorry, okay?! I shouldn't have egged your house; do you hear me?! I'm sorry!
[The Halloween Wizard goes to Rigby and laughs]
I told you you'd pay.
Well then, what are you waiting for?! Do it! Do it already!
[The wizard uncovers a case and laughs maniacally while Rigby screams and eggs are thrown at him]
Huh, what?!
How do you like it?
What?! You turned me into a house and killed all of my friends just to throw eggs at me?! THAT'S IT?!
Yep, that's it.
[Points up; zooms out to reveal a big egg coming down on Rigby, then Rigby screams as the egg collapses and he melts]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
