Alright, everyone. I got some bad news. The park is being audited. ( He Points to Pops) Pops tried to pay the park taxes... [gives him a look] ...with lollipops.
[the rest of the workers voice their displeasure]
But I gave them more than enough!
We already went over this, Pops. You pay taxes with money, not lollipops.
[spits] What's the big deal? It's not like an audit is a bad thing.
It is a bad thing, Rigby! If we don't take care of this, the government takes all our stuff away.
[The park gang starts to panic]
Okay. We only have till 3:00 to stop the audit. Does anyone know someone who can help us? Anybody? Anybody at all?
I know someone who can help...
[angrily] If you say your mom, you're fired!
It was worth it! [he and High Five Ghost high-five and walk away]
[thinks] Hmmm... Hmph! Hey! [looks at Rigby] We know someone.
We do? [Mordecai raises his arms. Suddenly, Rigby knows who he's referring to] No! No way!
What? If you know somebody, you've got to tell me.
Rigby has a brother. [Rigby punches him in the butt] And he's an accountant. [Rigby punches him again, rapidly]
Dude, what do you have against Don?
[Rigby gets mad, on the verge of crying. A ripple leads us to a flashback of Rigby's sixth birthday party. Pans down from the banner to a young Rigby]
Guys, guys, guys! [zooms out to reveal four bored children, one of them a young Mordecai] Watch me blow out the candle, guys!
[A door opens. Rigby's younger brother, Don, stands in the doorway. Somehow, he is taller than Rigby]
Hey, Rigby. Happy birthday, bro.
Wha- wha - ? I told you to stay in the basement.
Oh. Sorry, Rigby. I just wanted to give you some birthday sugar.
I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKING SUGAR!
RSRigby's Friend 1
I'll give you some sugar, Don.
RSRigby's Friend 2
Yeah, me too! [giggles]
[everyone but Mordecai gets up out of their seats to hug Don. Then, Mordecai follows, but Rigby tries to stop him by grabbing his arm]
I'm just getting some sugar, dude. [Rigby lets go of him] Besides, Don is cool.
[Mordecai goes to Don to give him sugar as everyone else laughs]
RSRigby's Friend
You're the best, Don!
[Young Rigby growls as ripple back to the present]
Yeah. Don really made that party.
Fine! Mordecai, you call him.
Dude, he could save the park.
Dude, he could ruin my life! If he comes, I'm gonna tell him to leave.
No, you won't, YOU BE NICE TO YOUR BROTHER OR YOUR FIRED!! [to Mordecai] Call him.
[to Rigby] Dude, just be cool until he stops the audit.
[Rigby growls, on the verge of tears.]
Benson, give me some sugar! [hugs Benson] Nice to meet you! [points to Pops] Hey, who's this guy?
Pops, give me some sugar!
[runs laughing to Don and hugs him]
[hugs Skips] Don. Good to meet you. [to Mordecai] Look at this sugar shack. C'mere, guy! I haven't seen you in forever.
[hugs Don] Yeah, I know! It's been forever!
Rigby, give me some sugar, bro!
Don't you have taxies to do? Why don't you get to it?
Oh, ha ha... he was always greedy with the sugar.
Augh...! I can't wait for you to get out of my life!
[mouthing angrily] You keep your mouth SHUT!
[at MM's and Fives' shift at the snack bar]
This...sucks! Wait.. what is that?
[a bucket on a roller blade squiggles closer and closer, at the door—]
HFHigh Five Ghost
What are you~?!
Looks like a bucket of diarrhea...
Oh man! THAT BOOT WITH WHEELS STOLE RIGBY'S VOICE!!
No! I didn't steal anything!
You're not stealin' these voices! C'mon Fives, let's bail!! [runs off]
It's me, Rigby!! [falls down] Aw, man!
[Due to his body's severe injuries, Rigby screams painfully; cuts to the Snack Bar, where a bleary-eyed Rigby is in a body cast and bound to a wheelchair]
Well, Mordecai, I guess you were right about the snack bar being lame. Especially now that we're not into eating all the free snacks.
Oh, about that. Those snacks weren't free.
Turns out, only Pops gets snacks for free.
[with a pitiful whine] Pops?
Yeah. And I guess we're supposed to work here for the next six months just to pay for it all.
(trying to sleep) I'm a tough guy. (He says "tough guy" repeatedly).
(In his dream, he is a tough guy named Fists and is walking down the street at nighttime.)
FFists
They say this city's tough. But I'm tougher. (walks into a dark alley, and a gangster with half of his hair shaved off follows him with a knife)
GGangster
You walked down the wrong alley, Riggerson. (Fists pins him against the wall.)
FFists
The name's... (pulls fist back) ...Fists! (He's about to punch him, but then, the taxi comes and shines its lights on him and the gangster.)
BTBritish Taxi
Ello, gov'nor!
Fists screams before taxi drives into Fists and gangster.
(Screams awake again as he jumps into Mordecai's arms.)
(Groans angrily with his hands crunching) What the heck, Rigby?!
[his teeth chatters and quivers in fear] It's that stupid British taxi! It's all inside my brain!
[drops Rigby off his arms] Ugh, I knew it. I knew this would happen! I told you we shouldn't have watched that movie.
I know, I'm sorry, I can't help it.
Ah, all right, dude, we're just gonna desensitize you the horror. We're gonna watch Ello Gov'nor over and over again, until you stop being scared.
[later, in the living room]
[as he pushes Rigby against the screen] Look at it! Look at it! It's not real! You can see the microphone showing!!
I'm sick of you keeping me up! You look at it!
LOOK AT IT!! Look...at it...you look at it, you...look at it...
Let... me GO!! (Throws the cover)
What the heck is going on?!
Rigby's just freaked off by this stupid dumb British movie we watched.
Well, you'd better have this place cleaned up by the time I get back from my cricket game.
Yeah. I'm trying new things.. So what.
(gasps) Will British people be there?
It's cricket. What do you think?
All right, dude. I'll go to the movies with you. Just call it of with her.
[scoffs] Yeah, right. I'm not going with you. You had your chance to ask her and you blew it. YOU BLEW IT!
[groans] Come on, dude...just give me another chance.
Okay...I'll give you another chance if you admit that you're jealous.
Then I guess I'm still going out with Margaret! OOOOOOHHHHH! YOU BLEW IT AGAIN, YOU BLEW IT AGAIN!
[As Mordecai runs around the house swiping all the clocks, preventing Rigby to see the time]
[covering the time on the microwave] Call it off with her.
You're jealous, Mordecai! It's all over your face!
MY FACE ISN'T JEALOUS! [quickly shoves all the clocks into the microwave]
Dude, what are you doing?! You can't do that!
Can't do what? This? [slams the microwave door shut and starts it as all the clocks start to melt] Now you'll never be on time for your date!
[leaps onto Mordecai's shoulder, tackling him] Give me back those clocks!
What's your problem?! Why do you have to be jealous all the time!
Shut up! This is all your fault! I finally get a chance to ask out Margaret, but you had to butt in and ruin everything!
No, I didn't! I just wanted to see Zombie Dinner Party with my bro, who flaked on me, for some girl who doesn't even know he exists!
[after seeing all the times he was jealous of Rigby throughout the entire episode through the Truth Hole] It's true, I am jealous of Rigby, and even though he's annoying, he's still my best friend. You're right Father Time, I deserve to be trapped here.
Ugh. It's so hot. I can't stop sweating.
Dude, is it just me or does being appreciated blow?
Yeah, man. It's not worth it.
[showing up in the cart] Mordecai, Rigby, did you hear? There's to be a blizzard this afternoon!
But it's the middle of Summer.
I know, but look! [shows them tennis rackets tied to his feet] I've already donned my snowshoes. [drives off]
Pfft, snow? Sounds like more crazy Pops talk to me, right?
[They both laugh, but not for long when a giant blizzard suddenly appears out of nowhere]
Dude! I think it's the book!
Don't you get it?! The pancakes, Benson liking us, the work, this blizzard!
[Later, they drive the golf cart out from the garage and into the blistering blizzard to search for Skips]
Dude, how are we gonna find him? I can't see anything!
Just keep going! [they suddenly crash into a shadowy figure] What was that?!
[They get out of the cart and gasp in realization to see they've accidentally ran over…]
[They help Skips up and his right leg breaks, causing him to exclaim in pain]
Help me get him into the cart!
