Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Now why would anybody want to kill me?
Mr. Brown, I don't know. But you are a celebrity and there are a lot of crackpots in the world and there's just no accounting for people's reactions. I mean sometimes I even wonder about my wife. Not that she's a crackpot.
I noticed that the arrangement was changed.
You've got a good ear for music.
Well, you know I'm Italian.
Where did you first learn how to fly?
Lieutenant, I thought you knew my whole life history by now.
Oh no, no. Uh, you know, people think we got all kinds of records on microfilms, all we gotta do is push a button and, uh...
Well, don't you?
[pause] Yes, we do. But not everything.
Say, that's delicious. I never tasted chili like that before.
That's a special recipe made out of squirrel meat. That's good, isn't it?
Um, yeah. That explains it.
You know something, Lieutenant? I could use a man like you on my team. It's really nothing but detective work.
Oh no, thank you very much. You fellas, you have to fly.
Sure. We're all pilots.
Oh no, not for me, thank you very much. I wouldn't qualify for that.
Why? We'd teach you.
I appreciate it, sir. But, uh, my ears pop in an elevator. As a matter of fact, I don't even like being this tall.
Well, still be an awful lot of mountain to search for anything hidden or buried, a lot of mountain. Who could find it?
The guy who hid it.
Aren't you afraid, being up here alone with a killer?
No sir. No sir, I had a feeling that, sooner or later... Sooner or later, you would've confessed even if I hadn't caught you.
Yeah, you're right, Lieutenant, I would've. 'Cause it was getting to me and I'm glad it's over.
Listen... Any man who can sing like that can't be all bad.
Haven't you ever heard of future shock? The world's going to hell with itself. Believe me, Columbo. Times have changed.
Yeah. Maybe.
Commissioner Halperin says he found those jewels under your mattress.
That's crazy.
You're a liar!
Hey, I don't even live here!
What?!?
I can verify that, sir. He doesn't live here. I live here.
Commissioner, I believe you killed your wife. And I believe you either killed Janice Caldwell or you're covering up for it.
You just lost your badge, my friend.
You must have a lot of those, sir.
What?
Gut feelings.
What are you talking about?
Well, you had a gut feeling last night.
I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean, last night?
When you asked for me to report to the Caldwell house.
Yes.
I found out you asked for me when you first called in.
I did.
What I mean, sir, is that the burglar had never harmed anybody before. Yet from your bedroom window when you called in, you asked for me. I was just trying to figure out how you knew the woman was already dead.
[Columbo is running on the treadmill]
What's he doing here?
Well, you know that introductory thirty day offer we've been pushing on television?
Yeah.
That's what he's doing here.
Mr. Janus, how you doin'! Listen, I gotta tell you, this is terrific! I'm starting to feel like a new man already.
Fine, fine Columbo.
Of course, you know, I've only been on for about 20 minutes.
[after watching Columbo light his cigar] Your health program didn't last very long, did it?
Long enough.
You know something, Columbo, you're a devious man.
That's what they tell me.
I don't care what you think. I don't care what you suspect. I don't care what visions you see when you look at your cigar ashes because I'm innocent. I have an alibi for the time Gene Stafford died and you can huff and puff on that rotten cigar until next July and you'll never prove otherwise.
I wouldn't count on that.
What the hell gives you the right, Columbo?
This, sir. This is a warrant. This gives me the right.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
