Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Looks at the cigar in his hand] An age-changing device. [Throws the cigar out the window] What kind of nut would use such a thing?
[The cigar flies out of the window and lands on the ground outside. The Delightful Children From Down The Lane pick it up and laugh wickedly]
Did you bring Bradley's bottle, Numbuh 2?
I thought you were gonna bring it.
Oh, so now I have to do everything?
Are you saying I don't do my fair share?
Oh, just drop it, will you Numbuh 2?!
[Numbuh 2 lands the C.O.O.L.B.U.S]
Ugh, I get no respect, what with everything I do; [mocking Numbuh 3] “"Do this, Numbuh 2. Get that, Bradley needs his little blanky," [normal voice] ugh one of these days....[getting back on the C.O.O.L.B.U.S.] there is that everything?
Well I don't know, is it?
CAN WE GET A MOVE ON?!
[Bradley cries]
Now look what you did!
Oh, nice job, Numbuh 1!
How Are You Doing, Guys?
Stupid.
Neutral.
[Smirking] Amazin'! Numbuh 2 Is Like A VERY Hungry Green Hornworm On Your Pancreas N' Spleen!
Someday, I Will Be A Beautiful Butterfly!
Darn Right!
Bradley Is SUCH A STUPID DUMBASS SKUNK!!!!!
Nigel Paddington Uno!
[Together] We Are Very Disappointed In You!
No, We're Mad At You!
EXACTLY! We're Mad At Ya!
[Angrily] Numbuh 2! Get out of that chair. I'm driving! Because you are completely useless with THAT STUPID SKUNK AROUND!
[Bradley cries]
Take that back about Bradley being stupid! You hurt his feelings!
Hello. IT'S A SKUNK! It doesn't have feelings!
[talking very fast] Mom, me and the Kids Next Door were fighting this guy and Tommy made a machine for him. So I tried to stop him, but he captured all my friends and double-crossed Tommy, but I ran out of ammo and now he is after me! [cries afterwards]
[attempting to contact other KND operatives] Warning! Being pursues...not followed! I Repeat...followed...
There you are! I've been looking all over for you. You know you can't hide from Mega Mom!
Numbuh 2, take the right flank. Numbuh 5, fall back. [Numbuh 274 walks in front of Numbuh 1] Numbuh… 274?
For the last time, save yourselves and out get out of here! [they dodge Mega-Mom’s “Time-Out” laser beam]
Okay, okay! I guess we can’t fight a bad mother like that here. Kids next door, retreat!
[As Sector V and Numbuh 274 make it back to the treehouse…]
So if there's a Mega Mom, then why isn't there a dad?
[shocked] Oh...I totally forgot about him.
[suddenly bursts in] Hi, guys! How 'bout some quality time with Destructo Dad?!
I knew it! [gets stupefied]
Kids Next Door, battle stations!
You kids aren't going anywhere, because Destructo Dad says you're grounded! [stupefys Numbuh 1] "You're grounded!" I love that line! [Numbuh 274 kicks him down] Now, now, you were raised better! [grabs him by the ankle and drops him in a can] That'll learn ya.
[blasts a hole in the treehouse] Sorry I'm late, dear!
Honey!
Oh, the traffic over here was crazy! And then… Oh, look what I've found! BRATS! [stupefys Numbuh 4]
[chasing after Numbuh 5 as she tries to escape her] Just where do you think you're going, young lady? [gasps] Oh, my!
[aiming her S.C.A.M.P.P.s at Mega Mom] Bring it on, old lady!
Now, that's no way to… [gets blasted down multiple times and stupefys Numbuh 5, leaving only her head] Tsk, tsk, tsk. You kids today.
Pianos? Type-P torture devices are pianos?
You don't know what it's like! They make play the same song over and over again! ♪ Tink-ta-tink ga ga ga-ga ga ga-ga ga-ga ♪ [groans] It's… It's… It's horrible!
Mmm, mmm, mmm. [plays some notes on a piano]
I'm serious! My mum ordered one of these monstrosities... For me. [starts sobbing]
He's right. These things are a menace to children everywhere. So let's get started. Numbuh 3, signal Numbuh 2 to begin Operation Lift and Shade.
Okey-dokey!
Okay, Kids Next Door. Simple question: what did we learn today?
Do not deviate from plans.
Teamwork is the key to mission success.
Operational procedures are important.
[in a full-body cast and in a wheelchair] Pianos...are heavy.
Oh, close enough.
[Upon finding they cannot escape the cage, starts calmly] I suggest we... [suddenly breaks down] PANIC!
[Sector V, except Numbuh 5 who was still brainstorming, run around panicking as the Delightful Children shake their heads in annoyance while listening to their record player. Numbuh 5 soon gets frustrated with all the noise]
WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?! [Everyone stop] I can’t think straight between your screaming and their stupid record player!
[After Sector V and the Delightful Children work together to free themselves from their cages…]
Thank you very much... Kids Next Door.
You are... Welcome?
Now if you don't mind, we'll be leaving.
Why, I ought to…
Easy, Numbuh 4. We'll take care of them later. We've gotta free all the other kids in this zoo. So let's roll!
[runs to the door as it bangs] I'll get it! [answers the door, revealing Laura Limpin]
[cheerfully] Hi! I'm selling Skunky Scout candy for to raise money for troop 177…
[thoughtlessly] No thanks! [immediately shuts the door on her face]
Tell me that's not Laura Limpin… [Laura roars in anger and transforms into the Big Badolescent from outside] AKA, the Big Badolescent.
YOU… BUY… SKUNKY SCOUT CANDY, NOW!
MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE!
Hey! Keep it down, Numbuh 5! I am trying to get some sleep here!
[Numbuh 5 screams loudly in frustrated anger]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
