Alls we gots to do is sells a bunch of tickets, make sure Rockso performs and thens we makes our money backs and thens we goes on vacations -- easy!
You think this is the first time that group of fucking clowns has tried to reunite?
There was that one time they almost reunited, but Rockso drank a whole bunch of acid right before he went onstage and just spent the whole night spraying some lady with huge tits in the front row with a big spraying thing and they didn't even play one song. Cancelled. Then they were supposed to reunite, but Rockso, the night before, smuggled like twenty condoms worth of cocaine into his intestines. Then he ate some super-spicy Mexican food and the condoms melted and O.D.'d and he couldn't perform. Canceled. Then there was that one time they were about to reunite and like Rockso borrowed $20 million from the Ecuadorian drug cartel and they were like, "Give us our money back," and he's like, "No, I'm not gonna give you your money back," and they're like, "Well, we're gonna shoot you," and he's like, "Well, go ahead and shoot me" and they shot him. And now he pees out the side of his dick. And uh... they canceled the show. So, that's what I heard.
Why didn'ts we brings our jackets?
Dudes this is a totally humiliating way to die! Huddled together, like a bunch of homos!
[whispering] Pickles...we need to use each others body heat to stay alive. I'm telling you here.
Ugh, just try not to get a boner!
YOU try not to get a boner from me!
What the hell happened out there?! You!
Yeah! How did we get left behind?!
Yeah! [punches Skwisgaar]
I just wanna get warm! I need more blankets! [struggling]
Look you guys were out there for less than 15 minutes! God knows why you ran into the woods and didn't stay in the gas station!
...Well maybe we don't know, to go inside, when it's cold, alright?!
Now listen, it's in our best interest to satisfy both parties to the best of my ability. For that, I may need a little patience on your- [Dethphone rings; clears throat] Sorry. [silences phone] I may need a little patience as I iron out the-
AAssistant
Sir, it's Dethklok.
Well, tell them "no." I'll have to return their phone call.
AAssistant
They claim it's rather urgent.
Urgent? Very well. [to the U.N. members] I'm very sorry. Uh guys, I'm in a meeting with the United Nations right now.
Toki hit me in the arm and it really hurt!
I'm trying to solve the Israeli-Syrian issue with the U.N. right now and-
Hey! It's Nathan! He hit me too! And he keeps on hitting all of us!
I was just standing there, and Toki walks up and slaps me hard, REALLY HARD on the back! And I didn't do ANYTHING to provoke him!
No neithers did any ofs us! And now I gots a fuckings welts all over my arms.
AND THE TV NEWS CALLED ME FAT!
I'm really busy right now. In the mean time, try to tell Toki, that you don't appreciate being hit.
YOU TELL HIM! He won't listen to us! We know he won't!
No he won't! You have to do it!
Ofdensen If I get home before dinner, I'll talk to him, okay? I just- I can't do it right now, I'm in the-
We're watching you on TV! We'll know if you don't!
Uh, my apologies ladies and gentlemen of the United Nations, I uh, have to uh...make a quick phone call. Toki. [clears throat] [phone ringing] Uhh, hello, Toki, uh-
TSToki's Answering Machine
Hi! You've reached the phones of Toki Wartooths. I'm not homes right now, but listens very carefullys to these followings instructions! After you hears a beep, please leaves detaileds message, on whos you are, and whats you likes to talks to Toki Wartooths abo- [beep]
Guys I'm really worried about Nathan. Dating a fan is kind of a no-no.
What abouts a quicks humps with a groupies. What ams wrongs with thats?
Well, Tokis, you cans humps all the groupies you wants but, you know...
But don't make a fan your girlfriend!
Because fans are crazy obsessed weirdos, you can't have a real relationship with them! Mark my words! He'll see! It always ends badly! [Nathan enters] What a sad dildoooo...[notices Nathan] Hi.
Listen, all of you. My girl-fan-friend is fucking awesome, okay?! It's a great relationship!
It's not a relationship, it's an ego booster!
She's like totally the most loyal person in the world. She's like a fucking amazing, hot...loyal...Labrador...but with really nice tits.
All we're saying is she kinda sounds like a crazy dildo.
Gentlemen, Dethklok has returned back to Earth and is on the verge of releasing a new record. General Crozier?
In addition, Nathan Explosion has begun dating a fan.
Historically, dating a fan has proven to be catastrophic.
Yes. Here to speak more is Nathan Explosion Romance expert, Dr. Tormanbin McMildidindindin. Dr. McMildidindindin?
TMDr. Tormanbin McMildidindindin
Nathan Explosion is cursed by love! In this case he is involved in the worst relationship known to mankind; he's begun seriously dating one of his wretched, mindless, fans. A lactic pathetic attempt to avoid intimacy. These fan elastic pretend relationships have the illusion of working, but when the celebrity wants out, the results can be quite dangerous.
Oh my Gods, looks at dis place.
Just what we needs, more homoskektuals fanfictions.
[upon seeing a naked picture of him] Hey looks that ams a really good renderings of my abs!
NINerd in a Wheelchair
Can you guys get out of my way? I wanna...buy a Dethklok comic book.
Where did you get a 100 ounce Coca-Cola?
Can I ask you something, did you eat all that garlic crazy bread?
NNerd
[moving on] Yeah...
FPFat Pickles
Nice Nathan outfit!
Thanks. [Pickles gorans] ...Fat Pickles...
Hey fat Pickle, you don't know wheres the Tringles exhibition is, do you?
FSFat Skwisgaar
Oh, I do, it's over there...
Ams thats supposed to be me?
FSFat Skwisgaar
Are you guys smoking? You know that's bad for you...
[clearly annoyed] Thank you for the, uh, heath advice. Come on let's go!
