EEdgar
These are the moments that define us... [to Assassin] You seem preoccupied. What bothers you?
[looks at a picture of Offdensen] This man. He must be killed and made an example of in front of the world. I will crucify him!
EEdgar
Be patient. We must strike at the right time or we could risk losing everything. [to the teenager] Excuse me, I need to get by you. Do you want a burrito also? No? Two burritos for me.
If we kill him, they will have no one to hide behind.
EEdgar
And when Dethklok plays at the hospital, we will be there, and we will take them down!
DDoctor
You're not dying, it's just a cold.
I think we are dying. I really don't feel great.
DDoctor
Did you ever have colds before?
Can'ts you gives us injections?
Yeah, use your fancy degrees, asshole!
DDoctor
Take it easy, all right? No drinking, no partying...[grabs a cigar from Pickles] Gimme that cigar!
DDoctor
Just take it easy. Go the sauna, sweat it out, and relax, okay? Take it easy. Idiots.
[Dethklok is attempting to use leeches to cure their summer colds]
Hey guys, how are your guys doing? You know, your leeches?
[using leeches to create the appearance of black sideburns] Looks at me, I'ms Elvis Presleys!
[using leeches to create a thin Van Dyck] Hey, look at me, I'm that guy from, uh, that movie where the guy wore that mask, and, uh, Natalie Portman was in it...
[laughing] Yeahs, it's just likes him! It's awesome!
[using leeches to create the appearance of eye black] Look, I'm a professional NFL football player!
[using more leeches to create a mustache] Hey, looks at mes! I'm Leech Charlies Chaplins!
Hey, Murderface, do like a Leech Al Jolson.
OK, Leech Al Jolson, coming up! Gimme more! [reaches into the leech bucket and throws a handful onto his face, completely obscuring it except for the eyes and mouth, and begins singing à la Uncle Remus] Mammy! I'm from Alabam-ie! [normal voice] Leech Al Jolson!
Now, that guy was an entertainer.
Yeah, he was the first greats blacks entertainer!
Slut! She sluts! Look at her!
Take it easy, man. You don't call women bad names, man, that's women. You gotta respect them.
What are you talkin' about?
Nothin', I just always pinned you as a classic woman-hater.
That's disappointing, Pickles, that you would just blindly label a person like that. That's just pretty disappointing.
Well, you ams the ones who walks around saying they're, I don't know, poisonous serpents with tits.
What do you mean, yeah so? You said that about women and now you're defending them a lot!
Okay, fine. Look, you guys. I may have said some kooky things about the ladies, but that was before. You've gotta defend their honor. Like a hero.
Ya, you defends their honors in the eyes of the womens, and then what happens?
Well...then they sleep with you.
That's his angles! Rights theres!
Another cheap ploy to trick the girls into sleeping with you by pretending to be valiant!
Go Skwisgaar it's your turn. Go, go go go go go!
I ams going, holds on. I ams thinkings. Uhh, okay, is this a words? Q-U-H-Zs-K?
Quhzks! That's whats the duck says!
Alright whatever, quhzks. That's 1-2-3-[muttering]... Fifty-two points, [impressed] fifty-two points, that's good.
Sorry I'm late, I was addressing the new uh, klokateers...
Gimme fifty thousand dollars.
Well uh, what do you need it for?
For fucking Doritos! What difference does it make?!
Well you've uh, been given your hundred thousand dollar allowance for the week, so-
So what?! Come on fucking give me my money, man! Cough it up! [continuing to talk over Charles] Aww, fuck that, why can't I have my fucking money?! That's mine!
All of you are wasting money by not having finished this record, that's a big deal guys, you're doing anything but recording! All right? That's what I'm-
So what, by sitting here, we're wasting money?
[long pause]
We should be saving money by not doing anything, not wasting it!
Yeah, that doesn't make sense! Are you sure you know what you're talking about?
[annoyed] Yes, I do know what I'm talking about, you are killing your own business!
Oh God, you're boring me to to death with business! God!
Well this isn't boring to me guys, all right?! I want you all to listen up! This is important stuff, all right?! If you continue to not record, your money, YOUR money, will continue to dwindle!
How do I know- Because it's my job to know! I work with money, it's my job!
How long have you known that our money is dwindling? I mean, it sounds like you're keeping stuff from us, right?
Yeah, he's keepings it froms us.
Yeah, it's very suspicious.
No, I'm telling you about it right now, that's what I'm doing, I'm telling you about these things.
Yeah, but how long have you known about the stuff that we don't know about that you're starting to tell us about?
Look I've tried to keep you guys in the loop of the business, I have many times, but-
...But you guys have a very short attention span.
No you're not what- Wh-What does that mean- That's not even a response to what I was saying!
He's gots to admits it! He's on the ropes!
We're arguing two different things here!
HIHealth Inspector
All right, listen up! First things first. The conditions down here are repugnant! It's infested with rats, moles, and some strain of flesh-eating virus.
HIHealth Inspector
Oh is it? Your staff is dying down here. Is that metal?
I hate to say it, but, yeah.
Yeah, not to be contradictory but it's very metal.
HIHealth Inspector
(pause) Is it metal to have your drains clogged with dead, rotting employees?
HIHealth Inspector
Is it metal to have easily avoidable work-related accidents the cause of death?
HIHealth Inspector
Is it metal for none of you to care at all?
Yeah it's way more metal if we don't care about it.
HIHealth Inspector
Well... I guess I uh didn't know all that stuff was metal. Anyway, follow me.
[the band is blowing up guitars like fireworks and throwing firecrackers around]
[to Pickles] Don't give Murderface any firecrackers, we just have to hold them.
[walks over] Hey, can I have a firecracker?
You know what? I think there's some over there. [points to a blank patch of grass]
Where? I don't see any. [bends over muttering, Nathan lights a firecracker, and puts it in Murderface's pants] There's no firecrackers. [the firecracker explodes] AHHH! THAT FUCKING HURTS!
They're down there somewhere, just keep looking.
Alright. [bends over again, Nathan lights another firecracker, sets it in Murderface's pants and it explodes] AHHHH YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DID IT AGAIN!
You gotta find these firecrackers, they're down there somewhere.
Yeah, they're in the grass, look!
Smash your face into the grass and look hard. [Murderface looks some more, while Nathan lights yet another firecracker and sets it in Murderface's pants] There you go, now you got it. [it explodes]
OH YOU MOTHERFUCKER, OW THAT HURT!
So's. Your dads gots the Bigs K: Cancers.
[Toki remains in a catatonic silence]
Just gonna stares at me for a while or uh...
[still no response]
Looks I don't know what's to says, you're staring at me, I'm just looksing at you and you just stands there likes a fish! [walks over] Hey Toki, let's hears you say somethings positive!
[puts a finger in Toki's mouth and imitates him speaking]
SSSkwisgaar's Immatation
Yeah, it's not so bads after alls.
SSSkwisgaar's Immitation
Who needs a fathers anyways?
Dats right! I don't really gots a dad, do I?
SSSkwisgaar's Immitation
Yeah, you never knows your father's!
That's right, Toki! I never...never really uh...[suddenly depressed] Oh...I don'ts...I don'ts have a father.
[angry] I don't wants to! I wants to bes in a bads mood! GETS OUT OF HERE!
OOffdensen
You know, Toki's kind of in a fragile state of mind right now. He could really use your support.
Ah, don't let him fool you. He's tough as nails.
Come on, you don't think Toki's gonna freak out or anything, you know, like do something-- should we hide the guns?
OOffdensen
Well I wouldn't go that far,I think he's just a little sad.
No, I mean he might kill us.
He's the one to do that, he's a strange-- I don't trust him.
He's fucked in the head. I don't trust him and--
Don't fucking do that to me.
