[enters Skwisgaar's room] Hey, uh Skwisgaar? That whole 'Toki getting good ting?' Just kidding, all a lie. See ya'. [leaves fast]
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Thanks you. And nows, I demonstrates the name of the string. Dis one i-is an E. And uh, Dere’s another E, heres, and the G, and the P, and the C. Those are what’s called, the fret. [gets nervous] Dat’s, Dat’s not a string, but its, its near the string and- uh, nevermind dat, lets..play the scale, dat’s the major scales on the guitars, string, [heart beats faster.] No! I can’ts dos this!
What? What’s wrong?
Can’ts do this anymore master, I can’ts take more piano lessons!
You mean guitar?
Whatever! I just wish I could be...[cries]
Shhhhh…shhh. It’s just as well. I’m dying boy. I’m dying. [coughs]
Toki! Stop! I wants yous to have this. Dis is ans importance to you. Dat you have, a magical things with dat guys right there, and I now know, dat you never gots good at guitars. So, its ok for you to have dis relations-ips.
[from a balcony] HEY! OVER HERE! I'M SORRY! I KNOW IT WAS WRONG TO HAVE MANIPULATED YOU! IF I COULD TAKE IT BACK I WOULD! I WAS WRONG!
Skwisgaar! Yous were afraids that I was better than you?
[also from a balcony] STOP! OVER HERE! DON'T QUIT THE BAND TOKI! I'M SORRY! I SHOULDN'T HAVE MANIPULATED THE SITUATION!
HEY! PICKLES OVER HERE!
YEAH!?
IT'S NATHAN! UM I ALREADY SAID ALL THAT STUFF, LIKE, ALREADY.
YOU DID!?
Yes Toki. Deh bands needs you. Even thoughs you don'ts do nothing.
[also from a balcony] STOOOOP! I'M SORRY! SORRY ABOUT BEING A DICK BUT SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO SUPPRESS THE URGE OF RUINING OTHER PEOPLES LIVES! WHY DOESN'T EVERY ONE OF YOU JUST GO KILL YOURSELF, IDIOTS! I'M SORRY I'M JUST BEING A DICK!
Wowee. You really are...my family.
Boy...I just wanna say one thing before I go. I love you boy. [coughs] I...love...yee- [dies]
BBoy
[on his computer] Aww, cool! Dethklok mp3s! [a message appears on his computer] "You are downloading this album ILLEGALLY! The consequences are GRAVE!" HA HA HA! Yeah right! CLICK! Aww, this is gonna take a while, what should I do in the mean time? Eh, I guess I'll jack off.
Now! Go! [the Klokateers break into the boy's room and taze him]
BBoy
MOMMY-Y-YY-! [gets put to sleep with a bag]
Gentlemen, Dethklok has taken the law into its own hands.
Preposterous!
But they are well within their rights, General Crozier.
World leaders are smart enough to know they need to keep Dethklok happy, and so they did just that.
There is a purchase and thieving clause, that was backed by the United Nations this year, that allows Dethklok to act as a police force.
Just because the United Nations can be bought off doesn't mean it's right.
It's not about right or wrong, General. At this point, it simply is.
So that's just a rough mix of some of the stuff you've been uh...working on.
That's kinda nots too terriblys uh...wonderful is it now? Am I right?
No no no, it's not it's uh...dragging.
Yeah yeah, it's just...it's just too confining.
Yes confinings.
Too digital.
Wait what?
Needs work.
Sorry if we have very learn-ed sensitive musical ears.
Yeah. Toki is right, sorry if we got very good ears.
Uh...Murderface, that's Murderface, I'm Murderface, that's my name.
It sounds like microchips.
Yeah, Pickles is right you know. Who was clearly the one who said that.
I just said that, not Pickle!
Uh, that's a good Pickles impression that's for sure. Right Pickles?
...
I SAID "RIGHT PICKLLLLLLES!!!"
It sounds like microchips. In ones and zeros-
You guys are fucking deaf! You know that? You can't tell the difference between anything! Can you fucking hear me? DAMMIT CAN ANY OF YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?!
OK, we've moved all the tracks onto water, so you wanna take 5 on the horsing around?
....
Hey hey! Record this ready? Ready?
Yeah I'm ready.
Okay. [recording sequence starts] Pbbbbbbbb ohhhh ahhhhh oh la la la la la la [claps five times] Play that back for me Pickles. [Pickles plays it back]
It seems kinda cleared.
Now we can'ts do that.
It's actually clearer than when he did it.
Hey play that back for me one more time, Pickles, just one more time. [Pickles does so] Yeah I gotta get a copy of that for myself. On water.
Yeah! Burn it on water! [more talking at once] I'm gonna throw up! RECORD IT I'M GONNA THROW UP!
Okay! Press record, record quick quick! [Knubbler pushes a button labeled "Record"; Murderface throws up]
Oh that's gonna sound good!
Yeah, I'm gonna add it to my water collection!
[comes in and sees Dethklok drinking the tracks] WHATS GOING ON? YOU'RE DRINKING THE TRACKS! NO, YOU CAN'T WATER THE PLANTS WITH THE DRUM TRACKS! YOU'RE REPLACING THE WATER IN THE FISH TANK WITH THE BASS TRACKS! YOU'RE MAKING RAMEN NOODLES WITH SKWISGAAR'S SOLO! [Dethklok's hot tub play's Nathans noise making track]
Why do they have us right here in front of all these dildos?
Yeah, I mean, we're like, right in front of everything.
Ya, it's likes, deys, gawking at us, likes, a bunch of fish that can'ts close their eyes.
Look at that guy. Right there.
Oh, look at that one.
Look at that douche.
Nathan:: Look at that douchebag.
Look at that douchebag.
Looks at that douchebag!
Looks at that douchebag.
Look at that douchebag.
Look at that douchebag.
Looks at thats douchebag!
Look at that douchebag.
Looks at that douchebag.
Douchebag.
Douchebag.
Douchebag.
Douchebag.
Douchebag.
STSkwisgaar/Toki/Murderface/Pickles
Douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag, douchebag...
I'm getting so irritated by these stupid fans!
A bunch of caged rats....that's what we are! A bunch of caged rats that are also death metal musicians!
We're the rats and look what's on the other side of the cage.Douchbag.
STSkwisgaar/Toki/Murderface/Pickles
Douchebag
OOffdensen
Ah, listen. I don't think it's a great idea for you guys to get too close to your doubles.
Why can't we have friends all of a sudden?
OOffdensen
You can. You just can't have them as friends.
Ohhh. He admits it sees. He's a tyrants sees.
OOffdensen
Do you understand the purpose of having doubles?
Yeah, I'll take this one guys. A double is like having the best friend you've had in your whole life. A double listens to you when no one in this crazy world will. A double is like having a child and watching him grow up and feeling that feeling of pride and unyielding trust that no one else can ever give you.
OOffdensen
They exist to so that if someone tries to kill you they will be killed instead.
Whoa what? I mean just thinking of those us as dead, I mean I'm going to cry I might seriously cry about that.
OOffdensen
That's why you don't get emotionally attached, Nathan.
Hey where did my me go?
[dialing a number on his dethfone] Hey we just saw you on TV at the parade! It was awesome! [whispers] Hey when you get back, we're gonna have a surprise party!
Gimme the phone! Gimme the phone! Gimme the phone! Gimme the phone! [Murderface continues talking] Gimme the phone! GIMME THE PHONE!
HOLD ON! Here's Nathan. [gives phone to Nathan]
Hiiiiiii! WE JUST SAW YOU ON THE PARADE! IT WAS GREAT!
I SAID THAT ALREADY!
Oh yeah! WE'RE HAVING A PARTY FOR YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK!
I SAID THAT ALREADY!
[plugging his other ear] IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME!
Ask them what they want at the-
I will! I will! Hold on! Hold on!
We gets the bounce house!
Tell 'em about the BALLOONS!
WE'RE GONNA HAVE BALLOONS! [Offdensen enters the room] I gotta go, goodbye. [hangs up]
OOffdensen
What were you going on the phone? You're supposed to be doing your jobs.
Jobs? I play bass not to have a job!
OOffdensen
You're supposed to be preparing for the concert! Nathan, you're in charge. How's rehearsal going?
Well it umm... uhhh oh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good.
We've got no friends...
I know, it's just us. We're not friends, are we?
(firmly) No.
(disgusted) Oh God, no.
OOffdensen
What happened back there, huh? What was that?
We don't know!
(distressed) We no means it, it was accidenskal! We not at fault!
OOffdensen
"Blood Bath" does not read well in print, you know what I'm saying--
(yelling) WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIIIIIGHT!
Hold on, this guy doesn't look like me! He's hideous, he's grotesque, look at 'im!
OOffdensen
Actually, Murderface, he--
Look at that head, that disgusting forehead, that stupid-shaped hair, beady eyes, like, stupid flat nose, wide hammer-ass, chicken-plucked legs idiot! (addressing Offdensen) You need to get your eyes checked, you piece of shit! This guy doesn't look like me!
(dejectedly) Oh God, he looks just like me...
Hey, where'd my me go?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.