What do we do, tip off Commissioner Gordon?
No, not on your life, old man. The Penguin and I have a score to settle.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
CCelebrity
I'm not a person! I'm just a commodity!
HAunt Harriet
Oh, Alfred! [She faints upon seeing Alfred and the movie star unconscious.]
What's so important about Chopin?
All music is important, Dick. It's the universal language. One of our best hopes for the eventual realization of the brotherhood of man.
Gosh Bruce, yes, you're right. I'll practice harder from now on.
[laughing] And now people of Gotham City, the moment you have all been waiting for. [Continuously Laughing] The grand finale! The climax of my performance! The zenith of my career! The unmasking of Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder!
All the same! "The Joker is wild!" "Batman and Robin foiled again!" Holy Headlines, do we look like page one dumbbells!
Too true, Robin. The responsibility of the press is to report the truth, despite what it might do to our public image. Our main concern is to a frightened public, whom we seem to be failing.
Gosh, you're right. I can't help thinking of only myself. I'm sorry.
Well, that's okay, chum. We all have the right to be selfish sometimes.
Batman and Boy Wonder? Are your blindfolds in place? Very well, then. Ask yourselves, "What is wrong with this sentence?" "He who laughs last laughs good!" [laughs]
[Batman turns off the television.]
Holy grammar! Is that all?
He who laughs last laughs best, not good! Best! Best! Best!
Do you suppose "blindfold" might have something to do with it?
If I may venture an opinion, sir, I think Master Dick may have put his finger on it.
Blindfold?
No, sir. Grammar. The sentence was gramatically incorrect. One does not laugh good, sir. One laughs well.
Why, that's it, Alfred! Laughs well! Laughwell! Professor James J. Laughwell!
Holy safari! The one that just got back from Africa, with a collection of rare masks and objects of art!
That's where the blindfold part would come in, sir.
And they're being stored at the Lasts Longer Warehouse! To the Batmobile!
Poor devil...forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to 50 degrees below zero! No wonder his mind is warped.
[after freezing Batman & Robin] I'm sorry, Batman. I wanted to toy with you a little longer, but that is the way the ice cube crumbles!
[Insisting that he be substituted for a hostage against the strong opposition of Gordon and O'Hara] Sorry, Diamante is the idol of millions of impressionable young lads who look up to him. He must live to inspire the youth of today who will be the men of tomorrow.
Mr. Freeze, give yourself up. We can get help for you... medical help!
In prison? This I do not believe. No, you must PAY for what you did to me, for forcing me to live like this: never again to know the warmth of a summer breeze, never to feel the heat of burning logs in vintertime! Revenge. That is what I need! Revenge! I will have revenge!
Diamente means diamond in Italian.
Wow! The rings of Saturn! This is sure some fun, Bruce.
Astronomy is more than mere fun, Dick.
It is?
Yes, it helps give us a sense of proportion. Reminds us how little we are, really. People tend to forget that sometimes.
Gosh yes, that's right. I'll bet I see those rings a little differently this time!
[to Zelda The Great] We've got you bank bandit!
[She disappears using a mirror trick.]
Holy Hole in a Doughnut. What happened?
ZZelda
Oh, it seems such a waste. They are such handsome creatures.
EEivol
Shut up!
ZZelda
Eivol, Eivol, can I help being a woman?
EEivol
Shut up, I said!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.