GGodmother
You know the most fascinating thing about Father here, is that his mother was originally a lesbian!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Positive energy takes work. In the last six months, I've excelled. I take all the negative emotions and just bottle them and bury them and they never come out. I've basically never been better.
Putting pine nuts on your salad doesn't make you a grown-up.
[aside] Fucking does!
No! Just get your hands off my miscarriage! It's mine! It's mine!
CCounsellor
So, why do you think your father suggested you come for counselling?
I think because my mother died and he can't talk about it and my sister and I didn't speak for a year because she thinks I tried to sleep with her husband and because I spent most of my adult life using sex to deflect from the screaming void inside my empty heart. [aside] I'm good at this!
CCounsellor
Do you really want to fuck the priest, or do you want to fuck God?
Can you fuck God?
CCounsellor
Oh yes.
Look, just please tell me how to not fuck a priest. Before I get arrested.
BBelinda
Women are born with pain built in. It's our physical destiny. Period pains, sore boobs, childbirth, you know. We carry it within ourselves throughout our lives. Men don't. They have to seek it out. They invent all these gods and demons and things just so they can feel guilty about things, which is something we also do very well on our own. And then they create wars, so they can feel things and touch each other, and when there aren't any wars they can play rugby. And we have it all going on in here, inside. We have pain on a cycle for years and years and years and then, just when you feel you are making peace with it all, what happens? The menopause comes. The fucking menopause comes and it is the most most wonderful fucking thing in the world! And, yes, your entire pelvic floor crumbles and you get fucking hot and no-one cares, but then you're free. No longer a slave, no longer a machine, with parts. You're just a person in business.
Oh. I was told it was horrendous.
BBelinda
It is horrendous, but then it's magnificent.
You'll always be fine. You'll always be interesting, with your quirky cafe and your dead best friend. You just make me feel like I've failed.
Claire...
If you mention the size of my office, I will scream.
It's huge!
Do you think I should become a Catholic?
No, don't do that. I like that you believe in a meaningless existence.
Celibacy is a lot less complicated than romantic relationships.
What if you meet someone you like?
I talk and drink and laugh and give them Bibles, and hope they eventually leave me alone.
I'd really like to be your friend, though.
I'd like to be your friend, too. [aside] We'll last a week.
[spooked] What was THAT!?
What?
Where did... where did you just go?
What?
You just went somewhere.
[Fleabag glances aside to camera]
There! There! Where did you just go?
Nowhere.
Why would you believe in something awful when you could believe in something wonderful?
Don't make me an optimist, you will ruin my life.
Quaker meeting. You're not allowed to speak. If the Spirit moves you to speak, you have to stand up and share it with everyone. It's very intense. It's very quiet. It's very, very erotic.
[Fleabag is talking about her late mother.]
I don't know what to do with it.
BBoo
With what?
With all the love I have for her. I don't know where to put it now.
BBoo
I'll take it.
[Fleabag laughs]
BBoo
No, I'm serious. It sounds lovely. I'll have it.
I know exactly what I want right now.
What's that?
It's bad.
It's okay.
I want someone to tell me what to wear in the morning.
Okay, well, I think there are people who can...
No, I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning. I want someone to tell me what to eat, what to like, what to hate, what to rage about, what to listen to, what band to like, what to buy tickets for, what to joke about, what not to joke about. I want someone to tell me what to believe in, who to vote for, and who to love, and how to tell them. I just think I want someone to tell me how to live my life, Father, because so far I think I've been getting it wrong. And I know that's why people want people like you in their lives. Because you just tell them how to do it. You just tell them what to do, and what they'll get out of the end of it. Even though I don't believe your bullshit, and I know that scientifically nothing I do makes any difference in the end anyway, I'm still scared! Why am I still scared?! So just tell me what to do. Just fucking tell me what to do, Father!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.