You're like a stripper, Donna. You just won't accept change.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Donna denies the boys have the construction cherry picker]
You think I'd notice a stolen truck around here. I'm the head of this household and I pay attention to...
[Roberta wheels a keg past Donna in a bikini]
Bye, Mom. Off to the library.
Study hard!
I brought plenty of peanut butter for protection.
Peanut butter?! Do I look like George Washington Carver?!
I don't know.
[Pulls out a book with Carver's picture and compares the two faces]
Kind of.
Hmm. I should remember that next Halloween.
[after Junior wins over Freight Train in the pole dancing competition]
You're the only pole dancer I know with a soul...and a wiener.
[The series begins with Jack Fenton instructing Danny, Sam and Tucker about ghost hunting]
So, Danny! You and your little friends want to hunt ghosts.
Ah, Ac-ac-actually Dad? I want to be an astronaut.
Sorry, Mr. Fenton. I was into ghosts, but they're so mainstream now. They're like cellphones.
Waste these looks and all this charisma hunting ghosts? Criminal.
Well, if you do want to hunt ghosts, there are a few things you need to learn.
Esteemed Casper High faculty, I present your all-steak buffet. [removes the tablecloth, only to discover that all the meat is not there, shocking the teachers and Lancer discovers that there is nothing but a rattling bone] PARADISE LOST!
It's been a month since the accident and I barely have any control. If I don't watch it I go to geek to freak around here.
Kind of what you're doing now.
[Danny, Sam and Tucker manage to crawl out the cafeteria door, and Danny and Tucker peek their heads around it to see the Lunch Lady Ghost.]
Huh. Shouldn't be so bad. She looks a little like my grandmother.
[Tucker and Danny are now standing in the room and Sam peeks out from behind the door.]
Shouldn't she be haunting a bingo hall?
[Off-screen, the trio closes the door behind them. The ghost turns around at the sound.]
LLunch Lady
Hello, children. Can you help me? Today's lunch is meatloaf, but I don't see the meatloaf. Did someone change the menu?
Yeah. (points his thumb at Sam) She did.
LLunch Lady
(suddenly becomes extremely angry, with her hair flaming on end and eyes flashing red) ME ME ME ME (The trio gasps.) ME ME ME ME ME (she yells as green flames surround her and appear circling above her head)
Get behind me! (Sam and Tucker promptly jump behind him)
(sarcastically) Wow. I feel safe.
Gee, Danny. Fighting meat monsters, flying through walls. You must be exhausted.
Of course not. What gave you...that idea?
Tucker Foley. Chronic tardiness, talking in class, repeated loitering by the girl's locker room. [Tucker smiles] Danny Fenton. 34 dropped beakers in the last month, banned for life from handling all fragile school property, but no severe mischief before today. So, gentlemen, tell me... [gets furious] WHY DID THE TWO OF YOU CONSPIRE TO DESTROY THE SCHOOL'S CAFETERIA?!
[nervous] Dash started it! He threw...
[cutting him off] Four touchdown passes in the last game is thereby exempt from scorn. You two, however, are not. I'll map out your punishment when I return. Mr. Baxter, watch the door.
Oh, please. Paulina? Girls like her are a dime a dozen.
[Both Tucker and Danny pull out coins]
How much change you got?
Haha, very funny. Just remember, you can't judge a book by its cover.
Well, there's only one way to find out. Go on, Danny. Go to that library and check out that book.
I-I can't. I get weak-kneed when I try to talk to cute girls.
[angrily] Oh, and you have absolutely no problems talking to me?
Catch anything, Dad?
Son, I couldn't catch a cold. I've been sitting here all day without a single bite.
Uh...
I'm so frustrated I want to take out my rage on the first person who gives me bad news. Anyway, you wanted to tell me something?
[nervous] Well, sort of. Mr. Lancer...
[shocked] Mr. Lancer what? Is this bad news?
Mr. Lancer... [smiles and thinks of a good idea to get out of trouble with Lancer as he overshadows his dad.] wants to have a word with us!
[Jack Fenton tries his new Ghost Translator on Danny]
DFDanny Fenton
Um... Uh... Boo?
GTGhost Translator
I am a ghost. Fear me.
DFDanny Fenton
[panics] Uh... I better get to school!
GTGhost Translator
I better get to school. Fear me.
Danny, look at you, I'm not sure I like this late night studying.
Mom, c'mon. We're just a bunch of kids. In the zoo. At night. Alone. [Everyone stares at him.] We'll be in my room.
GGGhost Gabber
We'll be in my room. Fear me.
[frustrated] Give me that! [hides Ghost Gabber under couch cushion]
[blocking Skulker from taking Danny back to entrap him in a cage for sport] "No" is right, Danny. Cages are wrong. How do you think Samson feels to be in a cage?!
Uh-
He's a beautiful animal, and deserves to roam free!
I-
-should be ashamed!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.