Listen, lard-arse, there will be food, so shut the fuck up so we can get this over with!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(voiceover) It was a moment of truth. Prom night had arrived, and as I watched my crack team setting things up, it’s fair to say I was shitting myself.
Any jobs for me?
Wash your hands afterwards!
(voiceover) Despite being organised by my team of geeks, it actually looked like people were enjoying the party.
(voiceover) As Neil was about to discover, the problem with drinking for Dutch courage is the next level of drunk up from that is Dutch dickhead.
(voiceover) So far, so good. The band rocked, people largely found the toilets without a sign, and bet of all, my throat remained un-ripped out. Now all I had to worry about was Jay’s DJing.
This isn’t on the approved playlist! No one likes this one, Jay. Well, that’s it, it’s a disaster.
JJohn
You didn’t say please. What about opening up and trusting?
Oh, fuck off you fat wanker.
Oi, give us a burger.
JJohn
You could say please.
Just give me one! I gotta be back up there in three minutes.
JJohn
Not until you say please. Manners cost nothing.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Can I have a burger, please?
JJohn
Of course you can.
JJohn
My counsellor used to say that frustration often comes from wanting to be noticed.
Yeah. Yeah. That’s it. That’s probably why I exaggerate a bit.
JJohn
To feel special?
Yeah. It’s like sometimes I feel like the kids here don’t pay attention to me. Like I’m so dumb that I don’t matter. I guess making a few things up at least makes them notice.
He was caught in the music cupboard wanking over the school orchestra.
When?
Before we started.
Convenient.
DDonovan
Move.
Why should we move?
DDonovan
D’you want me to give you a reason?
Well, I’m not leaving without one.
DDonovan
I don’t think you understand?
I don’t think that you understand that we got up early to secure these seats and… (gets throttled)
(goes to speak to Mr Gilbert, who he’s been forced to sit next to)
Don’t even THINK about trying to talk to me!
It’s just that I’ve got to go and see a man about a dog, (winks at Neil) then a woman about a pussy.
LLauren
(annoyed) I so know what that means.
(as Yoda) PARTY HMMM, COOL THAT SOUNDS!
You know you are never gonna get laid.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.