Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[After the "Shacktron" defeats Bill's Henchmaniacs]
Guys, seriously? You had, like, one job to do here.
Bravo, Dipper and Mabel!
...Well, would you look at that! Those kids really care about you. And you care about them. DON'T YOU?
What are you-? Oh. Oh, no!
Perhaps torturing those kids'll make you talk.
[Grenda rips out Bill's eye with the Shacktron]
ARGH! My eye! Do you have any idea how long it takes to regenerate that?!
Last chance: tell me how to take Weirdmageddon global and I'll spare the kids!
No! Don't do it!
Yeah, Bill makes bad deals!
Don't you toy with me, Shooting Star! [his eye shows an image of a galaxy] I SEE EVERYTHI- [Mabel sprays it with paint] OW! Not again! Why?! Every time!
Nice shot, pumpkin!
I just regenerated that eye!
I know that hurts, because I've accidentally done it to myself! Multiple times!
You two wait here! I've got some children I need to make into corpses! [morphs into a huge, red, multi-armed form] SEE YA REAL SOON!
No! Wait! No! No! Oh, what do we do? What do we do?!
[frantically bangs on cage bars] Kids!
When I get my hands on you kids, I'm gonna DISASSEMBLE YOUR MOLECULES! YOU'VE TRICKED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!
Ohh, I can't believe this! The kids are gonna die and it's all my fault! Because I couldn't shake your stupid hand! Ugh, Dad was right about me. I am a screwup.
[sighs] Don't blame yourself. I'm the one who made a deal with Bill in the first place. I fell for all his easy flattery. You would've seen him for the scam artist he is. [drinks from "water" flask and shares it with Stan]
How did things get so messed up between us?
We used to be like Dipper and Mabel. The world's about to end and they still work together. How do they do it?
Easy. They're kids. They don't know any better. [Ford stands up] Whoa, where are you going?
I'm gonna play the only card we have left: let Bill into my mind. He'll be able to take over the galaxy and maybe even worse! But at least he might let the kids free.
What?! Are you kidding me?! Are you honestly telling me there's nothing else we can do?!
Bill's only weak in the mindspace. If I didn't have this darn plate in my head, we could just erase him with the memory gun when he steps inside my mind.
What if he goes in my mind? My brain isn't good for anything.
[chuckles] There's nothing in your mind he wants. It has to be me. We need to take his deal. It's the only way he'll agree to save you and the kids.
Do you really think he's gonna make good on that deal?
What other choice do we have?
All right, Ford, time's up! I've got the kids! I think I'm gonna kill one of them right now, just for the heck of it! EENY... MEENY... MINEY...YOU!
[wearing Ford’s clothes and imitating Ford’s voice] Wait! I surrender.
Good choice.
[wearing Stan’s clothes and imitating Stan’s voice] Don’t do it Ford! It’ll destroy the universe!
It’s the only way!
HAHAHAHA! Oh, even when you're about to die, you Pines twins just can't get along. [drops the cage and ties up Ford]
My only condition is that you let my brother and the kids go!
Fine!
No! Grunkle Ford! Don’t trust him!
It's a...DEAL! [Holds Stan's right hand, then enters the mental realm, petrifying his physical form and enters Stan’s mind]
Oh, I'm here! I'm finally here! Look at this place - a perfect, calm, orderly void. Gotta hand it to you, Ford. You really know how to clean your mi- [opens the door to reveal Stan sitting in a chair playing with a paddleball]
[Makes a clicking sound and points a finger-gun at Bill]
WHAT?!
Heh-heh, do a pretty good impression of my brother, don't I? Switch clothes and no one can tell us apart. Welcome to my mind. Surprised you didn't recognize it.
[Outside of Stan's mind, Ford pulls out the memory gun and aims it at Stan]
What?! The deal's off! What the-?! No, no, no, NO!
Oh, yeah. You're goin' down, Bill. You're getting erased. Memory gun. Pretty clever, huh?
Y-you idiot! Don't you realize you're destroying your own mind too?!
Eh. It's not like I was using this space for much anyway.
Let me outta here! Let me OUT! Why isn't this working?!
Hey, look at me. [angrily] Turn around and look at me, you one-eyed demon! You're a real wise-guy, but you made one fatal mistake: you messed with my family.
You're making a mistake! I'll give you anything! Money, fame, riches, infinite power, your own galaxy! PLEASE! No...! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?! [begins rapidly warping between several forms; screams distorted words:] !NRUTER YAM I TAHT REWOP TNEICNA EHT EKOVNI I !NRUB OT EMOC SAH EMIT YM !L-T-O-L-O-X-A STANLEY!!!!!!! [Stan punches Bill in the eye, making him dissolve into nothing with a final scream]
Heh. Guess I was good for something after all.
[last lines of the series]
[voiceover] If you've ever taken a road trip through the Pacific Northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls. It's not on any maps and most people have never heard of it. Some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods, waiting.
I hope you're not bothering me with some trivia and don't tell me it's Naruto again.
Naruto, do your best.
Transform! [transforms into a sexy woman, giving Iruka a nosebleed] Gotcha! That's my sexy Jutsu!
CUT THE STUPID TRICKS! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!
Me, Naruto. The next Hokage, a ninja legend! Then everyone will have to stop disrespecting me and look up to me, believe it!
[protects Naruto from Mizuki] I know that's how you feel, Naruto. You feel lonely and it hurts inside, and I could have been there for you more.
That is how beasts are, but that's not who Naruto is. He's nothing like that. Naruto is one of a kind, works hard, puts his whole heart into it. Sure he messes up sometimes and everyone jumps on him, but his suffering only makes him stronger. That's what separates him from being a beast. So you're wrong. He's nothing like the nine tailed fox. He's Naruto Uzumaki of the Village Hidden in Leaves.
You really believe that drivel? Iruka, I was going to save you for later but I changed my mind. You're finished! [attacks]
So this is it. [Naruto saves him] Naruto!
Not bad for a little punk.
If you ever lay a hand on my sensei... I'll kill you!
Such big words. I can completely destroy you with a single move.
Take your best shot, fool. I'll give it back to you a thousand fold!
[To Iruka in regards to Naruto and the Village] How it must feel... so much hatred and hostility... to be treated with an animosity so intense as to be annihilating... to have around you many who would deny you even the right to exist...
When the people reject someone's every existence and then look at that person, their eyes become cold, cold as an ice storm in the deepest winter.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
