[Watching TV, Stan says this to three different shows; two men, two deer, and two babies.] Fight, fight, fight!
AAnnouncer
Baby fights! Will return in a minute.
TV. It knows what I want.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Man, that's refreshing. Ten suck-up points to this lemonade. [In high-pitched voice] Thank you, Stan[Normal] Ten more for politeness. Oh, and so sweet.
Don't get too comfortable, brother. I just made Stan an omelet shaped like his own face.
I have seen the face of beauty.
[In Mabel's body] Braces are horrible. It's like my mouth hates me.
[In Dipper's body] Hey, Grunkle Stan. Your face looks like a butt.
What?!
Breaking stuff is so much fun, I am Dipper and I stink.
[Stan discovers Mabel in Dipper's body watching Dipper in her body hanging out with her friends]
What's goin' on, Dipper? Ah, you're at that creepy age where you spy on girls, huh? Guess it's time you and me had a man-to-man talk - about the birds and the bees, you know?
[Cut to Stan opening a book called "Why Am I Sweaty?"]
I—I should really be going-
No way out of it. Look, it all begins with this little fella, the pituitary gland. He may be little, but he has BIG PLANS...
[screams]
[later; closing the book] And now you know where babies come from.
Goodbye, childhood.
3, 4, 5. [Phone rings.] It's him, my dream date. Hello?
RVRobot Voice
Hello baby, this is Kevin. My beach house has room for 2.
Kevin has the voice of a robot.
Don't ruin this for me, Candy.
Kevin, for the last time, I am not interested.
How could you say that to Kevin?
Look, times are tough, the economy or whatever, et cetera. Bottom line is… I'm going to have to cut your pay.
WIWaddles in Soos's Body
[Puts hand on Stan's face.]
What are you doing?
WWaddles
[Breathes eerily]
Is this some kind of negotiating tactic? Because it's not going to work.
WWaddles
[Continues breathing creepily]
Alright, I was lying, I'll give you a raise, just never do that again!
[in Grenda's body] Oh, no! Then again, I like having muscles for once.
[in Mabel's body] Wow! Now I have tiny little doll hands!
[in McGucket's body] Cool, I'm Santa Claus.
[in Candy's body] Whoo-ee! [laughs] I've regained my innocence!
[in Waddles' body] Well, I guess I'm a pig now. So, that's a thing.
[in Grenda's body] This body's not that different from my old one.
[in McGucket's body] My horoscope didn't say anything about this.
[in Dipper's body] AHH! What's happenin' to me?!
[in Officer Blubs' body] I am police officer now.
[in Officer Durland's body] Let's go bust some perps, Candy.
SEV'RAL TIMEZ is playing at the the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet.
Ughh, Sev'Ral Timez? Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late?
[Cut to a music video of Sev'Ral Timez doing "Cray Cray Feat Lenz Flar"]
SRSev'Ral Timez
Oh Oh! Girl you got me actin' so Cray Cray! (Cray-Cray!) You say you won't be my baby! We're not threatening!
Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake - Right?
Dipper's right. They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry.
You're making my dance sad.
You guys can't ruin this for me. Mabel's got backup.
[Grenda and Candy come rolling into the Shack decked out with Sev'Ral Timez merch]
Hey guys.
Woo-Hoo.
I'm ready for the greatest night of our live. [singing] "How many times am I gonna love ya?"
GCGrenda and Candy
"SEV'RAL TIMEZ!"
[Grenda Candy and Mabel run away giggling]
Uhhh, GIRLS.
I know, Right?
[Dipper talking to Stan about Wendy]
So wait...You actually believe my theory?
You're darn right I do. And we're gonna get to the bottom of it...Right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat.
[Stan opens a can of brown meat and downs it]
It's APOCA-LICIOUS!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.