They can talk?
They're not real fleas! They're imaginary! And they've taken over Mr. Herriman!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[with ticks all over his body] Look at me! I got new fleas and they're bigger than yours! They are super fleas.
Bloo, those are ticks. They suck out your blood.
Yeah, ri-- [faints]
[Christmas Eve; Mac arrives at Foster's where all the imaginary friends are decorating for Christmas]
Merry Christmas Eve!
BEBloo, Eduardo, Wilt, and Coco
Mac!
Come on in, Mac! We saved the star for you! Is that okay?
Are you kidding? Of course it's o… [Wilt picks him up] Whoa! [places the star on top of the tree]
EEveryone
Yay!
[sets Mac back down] I'm sorry, but I'm so excited!
Coco! Coco! Coco! Co!
That's right! 'Cause tomorrow is our first Christmas with Mac and Bloo! This is gonna be the best Christmas ever!
Oh, this is going to be the worst Christmas ever! Where is Miss Frances?
Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. H. I think she went out.
Oh, for goodness sake! Probably out holiday shopping again I suppose! She's neglected to pay these utility bills on time just like she did last December! The world does not stop turning for the holidays you know! She should expect to find a good talking-to under the tree this year! Hmph!
Wow, I didn't know Mr. Herriman was such a Scrooge.
Oh, he's not so bad. He gets a little stressed, but every year he makes sure there's just enough money to get every friend in the house one whole Christmas present.
All Santas please follow the signs to Mr. Herriman's office to fill out your paperwork! Single file, please! Single file… [shouting in annoyance] I SAID, SINGLE FILE!!! [politely] Thank you! [sighs] Every dang year. I tell ya. [turns to Mac] Hey, Mac. Merry Christmas… Eve.
[speechless at what he saw] Wha…? How? Were those all…?
Yep. Imaginary Santas. Kids get so excited about Christmas, tons of these guys get imagined. It happens every year.
So, none of these guys were the real Santa?
Pfft. As much as my Great Aunt Fanny.
Well, what does that mean?
Oh, nothing. Listen, Mac, if you see the real Santa Claus, tell him I want magical self-cleaning toilets for Christmas. [leaves by giving Mac a double-thumbs up and a wink]
There's no Santa. Eh... No Santa. [lays on his side] Eh... No Santa. [shivers]
This is a travesty! This is the most catastrophic, cataclysmic, cata... cata... cata-awful occurrence this world has ever known! Do you realize what this means?!
It means that everything in the world is a lie! [sobs]
Um, no! It means I get one crummy gift this year! And you know it's gonna be lame because it's from Herriman! He's probably gonna get me socks! Socks, Mac. SOCKS! No! No! I refuse to accept it. Santa's real! Real I tell you!
Just think about it. Nothing about Santa makes any logical sense. Man, I'm so stupid! I actually believed that a huge fat guy can get his big behind down a chimney. I totally bought at someone could miraculously travel around the world in just one night. I mean, geez! That's just so totally bogus! Even with magic deer! And as such a total bonehead, I completely fell for it that someone that lives in the North Pole has some resources to manufacture and produce brand name toys. And not get his jolly red suit... [Bloo slaps him] Ow!
[shakes Mac] Get a hold of yourself! I'm not going to give up Santa without a fight! And neither will you! [continuously shakes Mac] Do you hear me?!
[feeling dizzy] Yes, just stop shaking me!
[drops Mac] Come on. We're going to conduct a few experiments.
[Mac walks with dizziness]
[Mac's apartment; Mac is in his room, desperately lying in his bed]
Santa, I've really wanna believe you're out there. It's just that none of the evidence adds up. But I know that doesn't have to mean you're not there. I just need a sign. I need something that I know only you can do. I don't know what. It's just something... I know! If you are real, you'll bring me a present. Something really specific. That could be a sign, right? I don't even care what it is. It could even be something lame. Like underwear. I would be totally cool with underwear. Seriously, I would love underwear. That would be a perfect sign, Santa. Just so long I know it's from you. [his phone rings and answers] Santa? Bloo, what are you doing calling so late? You could've woke up my mom! What? What do you mean Herriman's cancelled Christmas? [Foster's foyer; Bloo is on the phone with him as Mr. Herriman throws out the Christmas tree; back to the apartment] He threw out all the decorations and gifts?! Bloo, that's awful! Why did he do that? What? Ghosts told him to? That's ridiculous, Bloo. Presence and robots can't even become ghosts, because you have to be alive in order to die, and you be-- [realizes] Wait a second. You did it, didn't you? Yes, you did! Do you even realize what a bad liar you are?! Ugh! Fine. [now becomes sad] Okay. Okay. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay, bye. [hangs up] This is the worst Christmas ever. Just a sign, Santa, please. Just a sign.
[Christmas morning; Mac's mother knocks on his door while he is asleep]
MSMac's Mom
Mac, honey, wake up.
Yeah, it's Christmas, dork!
MSMac's Mom
[annoyed] Terrence.
[smacks his lips, yawn, and gets out his bed, looking outside of the snowy neighborhood from the window] All right, Santa, show me what you got.
MSMac's Mom
Come on, Mac!
[Mac leaves his room and enters the living room]
[carrying a present] Come and get your presents from Santa, loser.
[as he arrives at Foster's and approaches the front door; sighs] This is the worst Christmas ever. [opens the door, surprised to see Wilt standing there]
Mac! You almost missed the best Christmas ever!
[popping out from a pile of coal, covered in coal dust; vowing threateningly to Santa] Just you wait, fat man. One day, I shall have my VENGEANCE! [falls over]
[Episode starts with Mac making his own movie about Foster's for a school project as he turns on the camera]
Hi. I'm Mac, and this is my movie. [turns the camera to the house] That's Foster's. [turns the camera back to himself] Every day after school, I come here and hang out with a bunch of imaginary friends. Let's go meet them. [walks up to the house and enters the foyer]
[sees Mac recording while reading a magazine; waving] Hola, Señor Mac! Que is that for?
I'm shooting a movie about you guys for school. Just be yourself.
We lost! We lost! I can't believe we lost!
Bloo, the movie didn't have an ending.
What are you talking about? Audiences today don't care about endings. As long as everything else is awesome, you don't need an en...
[Interrupted by "The End" title]
If you're just joining us, Frankie, Mr. Herriman and Bloo are all running for House President. And now, we're gonna watch the big candidate's debate.
Well, I've been caring for imaginary friends for a long time, and over the years I've learned a few things. I've spent the time to ask you what you want. You told me you wanted bedtime to be a half-hour later - YOU GOT IT! [crowd of imaginary friends cheers] You told me you want bigger dinner portions with vegetarian options - YOU GOT IT! [crowd cheers again] You told me you want the doorbell to play Camptown Ladies - YOU GOT IT! [crowd cheers again] I'm the candidate of the people! I care about this house! I care about your needs! Whatever you need to be happy, YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT! [the crowd cheers again]
Okay, Mr. Herriman. Same question. What would you change?
Not a thing! Everything is perfectly fine around here. [crowd is silent; someone coughs "Loser!"]
Alrighty. Bloo, how about you? If you were president, what would you change?
[after a long silence] Herriman smells like poo! [the crowd cheers again]
But he's just mudslinging! [Bloo literally throws mud in his face] I should have seen that coming.
Señor Herriman?
HHerriman
Well, of course it's five, you numbskull!
Bloo?
You know, Ed, my opponents say 5, but I say that's not good enough! I say 6! Or 7! Or even 42!
CCrowd
WHOO-HOO! [cheering]
Bloo, ever since you've been here, you broke a statue of Madame Foster [S1, E6: Busted], opened a secret door wreaking havoc on everyone [S1, E5: The Trouble with Scribbles], uploaded a video to make an international fool out of Mr. Herriman [S1, E8: World Wide Wabbit], flooded the house, threw a party against house rules [S2, E1: Partying Is Such Sweet Soiree], sabotaged a date Frankie had S2, E6: Frankie My Dear], destroyed a beloved toy elephant [S2, E8: Squeakerboxx], completely ruined my reputation at school [S2, E11: Bye Bye Nerdy], blew the roof off the house [S2, E5: Cookie Dough]...
Your point?
Whoo-hoo, I win! [confidently] He meant "biggest for your size." I'm huge for my size.
Sorry Bloo, everybody knows I'm the biggest.
You es the tallest. I am biggest! I have the most muscle.
I'm sorry Ed, but that's not true. You're all fur. I'm a lean, mean, muscle machine! [wiggles his arms to demonstrate] Look at that, Look at that!
[Wilt proceeds to wiggle his arms out while the other friends try to imitate him.]
[holds his arms out, but cannot wiggle them] I do that! I do that!
[stands on her head to wiggle her legs but is unable to do so] Cococo! Woop woop woop! Cococo!
[holds his arms out while jumping in the air] Am I doing it? Am I doing it?
[singsong mockingly] ♪You can't do it, you can't do it!♪
That's not muscles! I'll show you muscles!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.