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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

74,544 quotes · page 1650 of 4970

“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

[gets surprised and smiles again] That's my boy. [Then, he takes money out of the wallet and throws it] And don't worry, it's not mine anyway.

VVoice

[On television] Thirty-two donkeys playing on a sled,

One fell off it and hurt his leg

Santa called the doctor, and the doctor said,

"No more donkeys playing on that sled!"

Thirty-three donkeys playing on a sled...

[All the students whose parents are contributing to the charity ball are shown to be completely exhausted]

This has to stop!

Really? Don't you want to see what happens to the thirty-second gosh- DARN DONKEY?!

At least it's a distraction.

Hello, Fervidus Pizza, may I take your order? (beat) Okay, one pepperoni coming up.

(Out in the desert, Gumball and Darwin look around for the customer.)

You sure this is the right address?

(Gumball shrugs. His phone then rings.)

WWoman

Good afternoon, I'm on my way! Can you hold up your hand, please?

Sure, uh, Darwin, raise your hand so she can see us.

(Darwin raises his hand.)

WWoman

No, the other hand - the one holding the pizza.

(Darwin shrugs as he raises the pizza. Suddenly, a commercial plane passes by on ground-level, surprising the boys. As the smoke clears, the pizza is gone as Darwin huddles in fear.)

WWoman

Thanks! I'm a pilot, you see, but I hate airplane food.

What happened to the money?

WWoman

I just dropped it off.

(beat)

Where?

WWoman

Somewhere over Reno. Over and out.

So, it turns out wearing a store uniform is the grown-up version of having a sign on your back that says, "Kick me".

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the sign would say something ruder than that.

(The boys hear a crashing sound as they switch into appliance store clerks, seeing dents appearing on the metal cover blocking the doors.)

MMan

Let us in! It's 9 am!

Uh, dude. What today's date?

(checking his phone) Friday, November 24. (gasps) THE BLACK FRIDAY SALE!

(The metal cover begins to break down as the boys arm themselves with scanners.)

What's our motto, soldier?!

Semper satisfies, sir!!

(The cover breaks open as the sale-hungry customers barge in. Gumball and Darwin fire the scanners, but they are pushed aside as several freeze-frames of the Black Friday war raging through, customers fighting each other for discounted TVs and other appliances. As the store closes, a beaten-up Gumball and Darwin lay down by the exit...)

WAR...IS SALES...

Looks like we'll have to use our greatest weapon...

(Dramatic music plays as Gumball reveals their greatest weapon...)

BLAME.

(The four start fighting again, blaming each other. Richard sighs before rolling a die.)

(flatly) The tarrasque successfully attacks. You all lose 30 HP.

(The four take "damage" from the beast.)

Okay, time out!

(The four then huddle together and discuss something before coming back to the table.)

We've decided to change tactics and use our greatest weapon...

(And it is...)

BLAME.

(Richard groans.)

But, this time, we blame the game master for making us spend time together! So, now it's us against you.

Hm. Finally.

RRob

[angrily] Ugh! [stands up and throws his mask of Superintendent Evil to the side] Why did they stop me?! Transformation is the only chance they have of escaping to the other place when this world...

RRob

[horrified, last lines] Oh no... it's started...

[First lines of the series]

ASAdult Sheldon

"I've always loved trains. In fact, if my career in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan was to become a professional ticket taker. Or hobo. And when I figured out that trains allowed me to prove Newton's first law... An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force... I felt like Neil Armstrong on the moon, alone and happy."

Shelly, dinner's ready!

ASAdult Sheldon

"I don't care how dimwitted you are. Scientific principles have to make you smile. Of course, nobody I knew in East Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig."

Sheldon, if you don't get in here, I'm gonna lick your toothbrush.

Coming!

ASAdult Sheldon

"That's my sister. And she's done it before."

Hey, what the hell are you doing out there?

George, language.

What language? So?

I was exploring dimensional kinematics.

Admit it, he's adopted.

How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.

That's enough. No one's adopted.

I wish I was.

That can still be arranged.

(Sheldon's new friend is having dinner with the Coopers) So, uh, Tam... what kind of name is that?

Vietnamese, sir.

Sure. I spent a little time over there. Army. Your Mom's name isn't Kim Lee, is it?

No, sir.

[seeming relieved] Good, good. I mean, yeah. It's a small country. So... Mary, how's that food comin'?

[from the kitchen] Almost.

So, Viet Nam. Like in Rambo.

Yes.

That's a cool movie.

Yes.

Are you in it?

No.

All right, Tam. I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner: bar-b-que chicken and brisket.

Thank you.

Well, I figured you were probably tired of stuff wigglin' around on your plate. OK, let's say Grace. Now, Tam, when I say 'Jesus', feel free to say the word 'Buddha' in your head.

I'm actually Catholic.

Oh. Well, that's too bad.

You lied to your moon pie.

I was bluffing my moon pie.

Do people know about this?

Sheldon, what's on a person face is not always what's in their heart.

Well, this changes everything. How do you know who to trust?

You don't. That's what makes life interesting.

What's she say?

The doctors are doing some tests, but dollar to donuts, your daddy's just got a bad case of gas. Y'all two go get ready for bed.

I don't want to stay around here. I want to go to the hospital and see dad.

Well, i want to go to Las Vegas and see Willie Nelson, but that ain't gonna happen either.

This is stupid.

You know what's stupid? I got to drink pink wine

Meemaw

What?

Is dad really okay?

Yes

I hope you're not bluffing.

I'm driving to the hospital. You can come with me or stay here, up to you.

I'm coming.

Sheldon?

You're 14. You don't know how to drive.

I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. It's the same thing.

But you sat on the farmer's lap.

Then stay here. Come on, Missy.

(He suddenly hears Meemaw snore, and turning. Afraid he's gonna be blame for the runaway, Sheldon decides to join George and Missy).

What took you so long to answer?

Powdering my nose. What's it to ya?

Sorry I asked. Just want to give you an update.

Y...what's going on?

They wanna to run some test. They're gonna hold him overnight.

Oh, well. That's, that's nothing to worry about. That's just precautionary.

How are the kids?

Oh... they were a little worried. But I handled it.

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