Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Sir, there's something I still don't get. I'm absolutely positive Agent P got hit with the Go Home-inator. So, why did he end up in Africa of all places?
His family.
Sir?
They were here in Africa. Home is where the heart is, Carl.
True, sir.
[loud crash]
Don't touch anything!
I didn't!
[The evil Phineas robot uses his spider-legs to attack Candace and begins charge a laser)
I know what I am going to destroy today. [Fires his laser but the robot Candace pounce in front of the real one getting heavily damaged, but she fires her own laser at him, making him fall backward and explode]
You're busted!
Buford Van Stomm, world renowned chef, winner of the Palme de Mouton, runner-up of the Tri-State Area chili cook-off, and master prepare of the cuisine to the crown-
Hey, get that camera out of my face!
He's also kinda mean.
You bet your boots.
[sings] Close to you [eating worms in disgust] Ptooy!
I just ain't right.
Uh-oh, Dr. Baljeet! Who are they?
Just some old friends. In post-apocalyptic battle gear. Okay, maybe "friends" is stretching it a bit.
Jeepers!
[A boat is seen passing through a drawbridge]
GI hope you have got your carry on stowed, because we are ready for take-off.
[He skillfully jumps over the bridge with his motorcycle, flying into the sky. The band of truckers attempt to duplicate Baljeet's actions, but only get to the other side of the bridge]
Dude, you are so lucky.
Yeah, I know. I gotta slow down.
[Now dangling by Baljeet's hand, who is dangling on a piece of railing from a helicopter] Whoa, that was close!
As long as we are up here, how about we fly to a little island I know?
Oh, thank you, Dr. Baljeet.
Ninja.
What?
It is Dr. Ninja Baljeet. You forgot the "ninja" part.
Really?
I did not go through 6 years of ninja school just to be called Dr. Baljeet. It is Dr. Ninja Baljeet, okay?
Hey, Suzy. What are you doing out here, and what's with the lumpy table?
Oh, uh, it's my lemonade stand.
Lemonade stand? Where's the lemonade?
I... drank all of it?
Holy guacamole! You sure are a handful. [leaves]
I made more lemonade!
About time! We just lost a customer! Now help me fix this lumpy table!
[in the end credits to "Ferb TV"]
Oh, I'm sorry. Is this Studio A?
No, this is Studio- Hey, wait a second. You just wanted to get into this episode, didn't you?
What?! No! No!
Yes, you did!
Yes, I did.
Get out!
Okay. But, I can totally read that faster than you.
Out!
Okay, okay, grumpy.
Batteries not included.
[The Disney Television Animation logo appears with a burning fuse next to the 1985 Disney castle symbol, indicating that the logo is about to explode]
Batteries not included!
OUT!
[Phineas, Ferb, Isabella and Linda are reacting to that the logo is about to explode]
Oops! [Shocked] It's going to blow!
Everybody duck! [The Disney logo ragingly explodes as the raging narrator shouts at Doofenshmirtz to get out, ending the episode.]
Based on my calculations, the planet will be here by midnight!
That's great news!
Our planets are going to collide! You do know what that means?
Sure, it's like when you have two sets of keys, and you keep one in the car.
No, it means- [realizes what Buford just said] NO! [facepalms]
[voice-over] It all started simply enough. I got up early to help Isabella earn her surf patch.
[voice-over] And I told her it was no problem.
No problem!
[voice-over] It was at that point that I decided to stop narrating.
Pizza- [loud crash as Agent P's jetpack crashes in the theater, sending the woman and Rodney flying off the stage] AAH!
Pizza delivery!
[crowd claps and cheers for Doofenshmirtz as the curtain closes]
[impressed by Doofenshmirtz's performance] What an entrance!
He was always kicking sand in my face. When I was in the sandbox: sand. My first date: sand! Balancing my checkbook: sand! The beach- Oddly enough nothing. But I couldn't relax, because I kept waiting for it.
Well, Boris owns a car dealership now, and declined to appear on this show. But he did send some sand! [A huge mound of sand falls on Doofenshmirtz]
Well, at least he cared enough to do that.
Oh, Balloony, I missed you so mu- [Balloony pops] BALLOONY!
[Laughs] We're just having fun with you! That wasn't the real Balloony.
[Crying] It wasn't?
No, of course not. The real Balloony popped three weeks ago. [Doofenshmirtz resumes crying]
It's a pitiful existence I lead, Perry the Platypus. Do- Do you pity me? You should because I am pitiable. Everyone should pity me. Eh, you don't have to say pity too many times before it stops sounding like a word. Pity. Pity. Pit- See? That is only like two times and it's already just gobbledygook. Gobbledygook, too. I can't- I can't even get through that once. Gobbledy- Now see, I am not even consider the last syllable and it's already... [sighs] Great. Now, I am forgetting what I was talking about... Which is another reason to pity me! YEAH! Back on topic, baby!
So when all the members of the offending team clear the defensive zone at the same time, the delayed offset call is negated.
Wow, you really do know hockey.
Are you kidding? Did you know a referee makes most penalty calls-
[talking into a microphone connected to Candace's headset] While the linesmen may call only obvious technical infractions- [To Ginger] Go away.
Obvious technical infractions- go away. The player who committed the infraction is- no give me that. No Ginger, I'm busy. I said give me that back. If you don't give that back to me right now- Candace, gotta go. [Candace smiles nervously after realizing what she said]
'Scuse me, I gotta get through here.
Woah woah woah! You're not allowed out there.
But I gotta go get my mom! This is a shortcut to the gift shop!
I'm sorry. You can't go out there. That's for players only.
Players, huh?
You're gonna go get a uniform and try to get out there, aren't you?
Is that a problem?
No, as long as we're clear on the concept.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
