Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Floyd!
Floyd!
I'm hungry.
Floyd, can we get a snack?
Pwease?
No.
Taz want snack!
Oh please-please-please-please?
No, no, no, no, no!
Let's sing it again!
Pears and apples make a very yummy snack!
Hey kids, how 'bout I go and get us some popcorn?
Hooray!
Whoo-hoo!
Poppycorn!
Now stay right here until I get back, we don't want anyone to get lost in this big place.
Fwoyd, Fwoyd! I have to go potty.
Can't you wait Tweety?
Oooh, I don't think so.
Uh, Taz need laborartory.
Can't you wait?
Not a chance doc.
Nope.
I doubt it.
Nah, no way.
Nu-uh.
Okay, let's go potty.
Come on, hurry! They're in there, the Wormies are in there! Eh, 'cuse me doc, (the Doorman blocks Bugs' way) Hey look out yah big galoot, the Wormies are in there, I gotta go see 'em!
Relax Bugs, just let me talk to the doorman first, hi there, any chance getting backstage to meet the Wormies this afternoon?
Please!
(raises an eyebrow) Wait over there with the others.
(Floyd looks and sees a long line of people)
Gee, thanks.
Excuse me, did one of you forget your pen?
Willy? Willy Wormy? Is it really and truly you?
Yep, it's me, who are you?
I'm Bugs and I'm your biggest, most bestest fan.
Really? Well thank you, you know I think my bestest fan, ought to have one of my bestest hats, to share with his friends, don't you?
Whoa, this is so cool.
Wowee!
Ooh.
Look at that.
Cool.
Can I wear it Bugsy?
I hope I'll see you kids again real soon, enjoy the hat with your friends Bugs!
I will (looks at his friends) we will!
(The babies all wave and said goodbye to Willy)
Mike, talk to me. I am in a room with three people and a fuckload of quiche.
So, Dan, Are you enjoying working for Hallowes?
Not really. She's middle of the road. She's mediocre, really. Of all the -ocres, she's the mediest.
[about the coffee machine] Do I add water to this machine? It's like a robot.
It's a nice bag, Gary.
You know, he calls that "The Leviathan."
Ooh, you got the nuclear codes in there, buddy?
[still about the machine] Is there a pouch or something that I put into this?
Jesus fucking Christ. All right, look, watch me, autismo. You take the little pod, put the little pod in the fucking hole, shut the fucking lid, hit the fucking button for two fucking seconds. Oh, it's so easy.
Too quick, I didn't see it.
Yeah, well, next time pack an espresso machine in your big fuckin' bitch bag.
Hey, did you fire your tweet monkey yet? Because that guy is a weapons-grade retard.
I know.
I think you might have been hoist by your own retard there.
[laughs] That's a good one.
I really admired your primaries campaign.
Oh, how nice. Thank you very much.
Two things I would have done differently.
Two things? Oh, no kidding. What are they?
I think you spent too much time in New Hampshire. That was in the bag. And the attack ads in Oregon came up four days too soon, made you seem mean before you had to be. But, I mean, hey, you're the old pro here.
Ooh!
You're the pro.
Okay. What do you think of Dan?
Oh, Dan is a shit.
You want to expand on that?
Sure. He's a massive and total shit. When you first meet him, you think surely to God this man can't be as big a shit as he seems, but he is.
See, I—
'Cause like if there were a book with covers made of shit, you'd think "That's intriguing. I wonder what's in this book that they saw fit to give it covers made of pure shit." And then you open it and... shit.
Just a small change in the speech.
What is that?
Plastics apparently talked to the President. The White House doesn't want us mentioning oil or cornstarch or plastic. Just wing it.
This has been pencil-fucked completely?
Uh, yes, front and back. Very little romance.
That's the entire speech, okay? What's left here? I've got "hello" and I have... prepositions.
Uh, guys, a man is dead. When a sexual harasser dies, we sign his wife's card. Okay? That's how Washington works.
Take a good look at me, okay? Now ask yourself something, Mike. Is the man you're looking at gonna be in a position a year from now working above you or below you? 'Cause all ambition you had left your body a long time ago and now all you've got left in the last 10 remaining years of your working life is a damp apartment, cold crab cakes, and an invisible fucking dog.
Oh, my God, this heat is just unbearable.
I feel like a gecko.
Sorry to interrupt, but fuck-a-deedoo-dah, fuck-a-dee-ay! Martin at the White House.
What?
"Clean Jobs task force likely to be green lit!" Exclamation point.
Yeah! Oh, my God! That is so great for me!
And the country.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I meant. Oh, Amy. Good job, Amy.
That's why I get paid the medium bucks.
Come on, let's go somewhere. Let's meet the public.
You want to normalize it?
Yes, exactly. I want to meet some regulars normals. Where we gonna find them?
Photo op with the normals and the normalistas.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
