Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Oh, no. Sweetie, don't worry. We'll get you a new sundae. [knocks on the window] Uh, excuse me!
No dice, dudes, they close at 5:00 this week.
[Annoyed] What? Huh, you think they'd advertise something like that.
[Lily looks down for a second and then breaks down wailing in despair uncontrollably.]
[picks her up] Oh, poor baby. Let's get you home.
Where should we grab food today?
(Nighttime at Royal Woods Elementary for Parents Conference, Lincoln, Rita and Lynn Sr. run to the sign up sheet.)
Aw! We got the last ding dang slot!
(Luan wakes up)
(excitedly to her still sleeping dummy) Good morning, Mr. Coconuts!
Wow! You're extra chipper today. What's the occasion, doll?
(Looks at the calendar next to her bed.) Today is my first official date with Benny, remember?
Oh, wright, correct. Why could you not forget?
(Luan gets her prop box)
What should I wear? (puts on her glasses) Maybe these gag glasses? Always a classic. (puts on a hat) Or what about this mini top hat? (she looks at herself in a mirror and gasps, she sees a huge pimple on her face) Aaaaaaah!!! (she wraps herself in her covers)
Jeez, the hat doesn't look that bad.
No, look, I have a huge pimple. Oh, I can't let Benny see me like this. Oh, why didn't you say anything?
I didn't realize, and I can certainly see it now. Yowzers! (Picks up a banana and uses it as a phone) Hello, operator? Give me NASA! I just discovered a new planet!
Not helping, Mr. C.
(She takes off. Mr. Coconuts shrugs and follows. Luan lies down on Lori's bed)
Okay, take a deep breath. Pimples are literally no big deal. And plus, Benny should like you for who you are, not what you look like.
(Feeling better) Maybe you're right.
Good golly miss molly! That thing's a monster!
It is?
Monster? Where? Aw, it's just a zit. But man is it huge? (The siblings gasp and walk in) Can I pop it? Please? (Lori stops her from popping her pimple)
Uh, popping the beast will spread bacteria.
(Luan has some steak on her face, hoping that it’ll get rid of her pimple.)
Rip Hardcore says that frozen meat reduces swelling for bug bites, so maybe it works for pimples, too.
(Charles comes on the scene and smells the steak, looking for a tasty treat.)
No, Charles! That’s not for you!
(But Charles completely ignores his owner, and chases Luan from left to right, until she trips over the chair, making the steak come off. The dog eats the steak, and Luan’s blemish is still there.)
Jackpot.
You seem so confident and popular. Do you think you can help me, um... figure out how to fit in too?
(enthusiastically) Aww! Of course! (normally) I know all the secrets to social success. (enthusiastically) Everyone is going to LOVE YOU!!! (Meli giggles)
And those pageant judges are going to love, ME!
(Later, at the Loud House, Lola introduces Meli to her bedroom.)
Thanks for having me over, Lola.
My pleasure! I thought we could play my favorite game! (Opens her closet) Fashion makeover!!! (Looks at Meli) Hmm, now don't get me wrong. Love the gray. It's very... European.
Sleep, furry babies in kitty dream land.
With visions of yarn balls and tuna fish cans.
For when you awake, the dawn comes anew...
And morning shall greet you with a bright and happy "mew"!
Hey buddy, I really hope u r coming 2 the dance.
Wear u @ 🐶(dawg)? U r missing all the fun!
Principal Huggins teepee just fell n teh pinch bwl.
[Beat]
Dang auto correct! Toupee! His toupee fell n the punch bowl!
Nah, Flip's a lone wolf. [Howls like a wolf, cracks a spine, yelps and screams] GAH! Cheese and crackers.
[He continues to yelp. Outside the room, Lincoln and his sisters felt terrible.]
You guys, this is all our fault. We should take care of Flip.
(angrily) I can't believe my very own baby sister is trying to steal my place in the spotlight! Look at this ad! (shows Mr. Sprinkles the ad) I know, Mr. Sprinkles! I'm just as horrified as you are!
(Leni enters)
Hey, Lols, can I get my magazine back? I wanna read it on the... (Lola angrily screams and throws the magazine across the room) bus to work.
(waving her arms in anger) AHHHH!!! Sorry, Leni, It's not you. I'm just so frustrated right now.
Awww! Let's talk after I get home! Everyone has to be at the store early to help set up for Reininger's Cutest Kid auditions.
(Lynn Sr. follows the scent to the kitchen. It reveals Luan is making something)
Luana Banana, it's you?
(With a depression look on her face, holding a sandwich on a plate) Oh, hey Dad.
Is that a Monteo Cristo sandwich, on brioche?
Awww! I messed it up! It's supposed to be on bread.
(She throws the bread across the kitchen and Lynn Sr. catches it)
No, brioche IS bread! It's French. Hey, what's the occasion? Wait, this isn't a trick sandwich is it?
(Sighs) No, we've picked electives in school, and I'm locked out with my top two choices. Advanced Punning, and To Hee Hee or Not To Hee Hee, Philosophical Joke in You, and now I'm stuck taking Intro into Cooking. And I can't imagine a more boring class.
(Eating Luan's sandwich) Mmm-hmm, Mmm-hmm, and I can't imagine a more delicious sandwich! Luan, you have some real talent!
Really? I don't know much about food. Comedy is more a bread and butter! (Giggles) Get it?
Lock down the house! Call the cops! File a missing persons report! Mr. Coconuts is officially MIA!
Oh, honey relax. Mr. Coconuts is fine! ...Yeah, I put him into storage.
Huh? Wait! Why would you do that?!
Luan, when I decided to dedicate my life to food, I didn't touch a cowbell for months! Comedy can wait. You need to focus on cooking if you're going to take over the restaurant.
Dad...
Of course, first, you're gonna have to attend the Culinary Institute of Michigan, but someone with your talent should breeze right through.
DAD...!!!
After that, it's on to an apprenticeship. Maybe you can go somewhere fun like Paris. Oh! Or Kansas City! I heard they're doing great stuff with ribs down there.
[Luan growls furiously as her face turns red and steam appears flying out of her ears.]
But after that, you can take over --
I'M NOT TAKING OVER THE RESTAURANT!!!
[She zips away, revealing the steam was coming from the pressure cooker.]
(Appears in front of the screen again) Sorry, Lincoln.
Uh, can I help you, Leni?
I'm supposed to write a novel for English, but Lily's using them all to build a fort.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
