“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Aku

[gets out a phone and dials phone number, laughing] Yes, I can hold... Yes... I would like to place an order for delivery... Aku... I think I'm in the computer... Yes, that's it! I'd like a large- What? Huh?... Extra thick!... 30 minutes or it's free - EXCELLENT! [laughs, but stops when he hears the other end hang up]

That pillar did not move by itself, Aku!

Aku

YES, IT DID!

One, no superhuman powers. Two, no evil minions to assist you. And three, no shapeshifting. You come in human form.

Aku

Hey, that was four things.

The last one was a two-parter.

Aku

Say goodbye to your little toy, Jack! [starts bending his sword] Once and for- [the sword turns to dust] Huh? A fake!

That's right, Aku! You see, I'm smart, and you are pure evil...and I knew you would cheat. So I had a fake sword made and hid it under that rock over there. Then I hid the real sword right down... [notices the sword is gone, then looks up to find another minion holding it] here.

Aku

You see, Jack, I knew that you knew I would cheat, so I came prepared. And now you will learn what it means to be a fool!

I am afraid that you are the fool, Aku.

Aku

Why?

Because I knew that you knew that I knew that you knew that I knew you would cheat so I hid fake swords all over this place.

Dear Jack – Look Behind You. Love, Aku.

Aku

Coulda – shoulda – woulda. It's all part of life's sweet sorrow.

Aku

You're so lucky, Samurai. Most of us have to live with our mistakes, but you'll get to DIE by yours!

Aku

I'll be back, Samurai! [laughs evilly]

And I will be waiting, Aku. For no matter how long it may take, I will stop you.

What is your quest, young servant? What brings you through such bitter lands?

My destiny... But it continues to be elusive. And so I journey on.

Is it not true…that even the gods…must rest…from time…to time?

It is true.

And you... are not... a god.

No.

Then why deny yourself? It serves no purpose.

I see…you. I see…inside…of you. A gentle soul. A…compassionate heart. A warrior's spirit. In selfless service. It is in your nature to sacrifice all…for what is right. Forever giving, you…are a hero.

Seems like Aku got himself a little problem... a problem that won't go away... a samurai problem. I wanted nothing to do with it but that funny scientist informed Aku of my emotions. They got Lulu... sweet thing. I have no choice. Damn feelings. I came out of retirement.

Lulu... Sweet thing... I miss her. I hate the rain. It makes me all... sentimental.

[after been defeated by Jack, about his dog] Lulu. Take care of Lulu... [pause] Sweet thing.

Your father, the Emperor, shortly after you were born, gathered together the chiefs of all the great tribes of the world. We devised a plan. A plan that would prepare you for the ultimate battle against the ultimate evil. Aku must be destroyed and only you can wield your father's magic sword. Together you are the one instrument that can stop this evil.