“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Leslie

Okay, monsters! Mommy and Daddy have to pack because we are going to a hotel but Roz is gonna stay here with you.

Roz

Yeah we are gonna have so much fun! We're gonna play games! We're gonna color! ...Maybe we're even gonna sit quietly for...30 seconds!? [the kids run off] Do you think that I could have 30 seconds!?

Leslie

[to Ben] She's fading. Roz! Hey! You are a wonderful nanny. You're tough and strong and you're an excellent caretaker for our children.

Ben

Yeah every time you come to our house we are so happy to see you.

Leslie

I love you more than Ben.

Ben

...

Leslie

I do. If Ben left me I would be sad but I would get though it. But if you left me...I would never recover.

Roz

[touched] Thanks. That helps.

Ben

Things aren't that chaotic.

Roz

[running in] All three of them just bumped into each other and broke everything you own!

Roz

I don't know what that was.

Oh would you look at that! Sweetie, I think your best friend Tom is giving his lady friend a gift.

Jerry

You know Gayle gives me a gift each and every day.

Oh I got the greatest gift of all, being married to you!

Jerry

Oh sweetie!

Ron

Control yourselves Gergiches!

Jen

Whoa! What was that!? That was huge!

Roz

Two of the three kids are showering in their pajamas and most of Ben's ties are in the toilet. Just like as an update of where things are at.

Jen

I mean this is chaos.

Andy

The Meagles are weird. The words that they say sound passive but seem aggressive. I feel like there should a be a term for that like "Nicey-Meany."

April

Yeah I just had to physically separate two 80-year-old men who were arguing about whether it was really Lena Horne in that grocery store in 1970.

Andy

Here are all the troublemakers boss.

April

Thank you. Meagles! I am not screwing around! Okay!? Lauren, no more discussion of Majorca. Majorca is off limits! Brian and Gloria, stop making Horatio feel bad that your daughter went to Yale, no one gives a shit! And Ginuwine...

...Yes?

April

Get it together!

[crying] Sorry April, Cathy started this.

April

[mocking] Cathy started this-I DON'T CARE!

Leslie

Babe you are killing it!

Ben

I am right!?

Leslie

Yes!

Ben

Even just thinking I'm a congressman makes me feel like one! Oh also I have a little secret, I'm drunk!

Leslie

I am too! Ever since we had our kids it only takes like one sip of wine!

Ben

I feel so good and condifent...con...I feel condifent.

Ben

[drunk] Hey everybody! I'm Ben Wyatt! Listen, we of course are here to celebrate Donna and Joe and I have to say you know getting married is the bravest most wonderful thing you can do. Because everyday you come home and your just like "What!? It's you! I love you! You're my sexy roommate! We love each other!"

Leslie

Wooo! He's talkin about me!

Ben

Yes I am baby doll! Look. Donna and Joe are great! You all, are great! And this wedding, is gonna be amazing! Let's get some music and dancing going. And I am Ben Wyatt and I very much APPROVE THIS MESSAGE!

April

You want me to shut that down?

Donna

No I liked it. Let the little man dance.

Ben

Oh God I'm remembering things. We called Jen last night didn't we?

Leslie

Yeah we did. I also called 867-5309 a hundred times.

Jen

You left me four messages last night.

Ben

What?

Jen

They contain very specific policy positions.

Ben

[over phone] I wanna come out strong on education then I'll tack hard into fiscal responsibility!

Ben

Oh God...

Leslie

[over phone] 867-5309!

Jen

I love that song.

Leslie

[over phone] Jenny I got your numb- Hey babe it's ringing!

Leslie

Wow honey you were a lot more lucid than I was.

Jen

Wait, were you guys drunk? That is hilarious! Oh you guys are gonna fit in so great in Washington. Most of Congress is drunk all of the time.

Leslie

Oh my God! Oh! Look how beautiful you look!

Donna

Leslie, I'm not even in my dress yet.

Leslie

[crying] But you're gonna be very soon!

Donna

Alright I wanna say something to my girls. Knope, your a softie but on the inside you are straight up boss. April, you're the exact opposite. Ya'll inspire me and I love you. And you too Michelle.

Donna

Michelle. You were my best friend from childhood. Until we lost touch because you thought your college boyfriend was into me. He was. I never gave him the time of day. But now, we're rebuilding our friendship. Is this wedding gonna be a test for you? Yes. But the doctors once told ya you were never gonna walk again so this should be easy right?

Leslie

Wow what a complicated tapestry that is!

Garry is my real name. Yes, after 30 years, my coworkers are finally going to call me by my real name. Oh, boy, I'm blessed.

Andy

Donna! Joe! I hope you saved a slice of that cake for your estranged brother, Levandrious!

What's up girl? Didn't expect to see your baby bro at your wedding huh? Well I'm here despite what you did to me all those years ago.

Donna

What I did!?! This is because of what YOU did!

Oh you must be referring to the microwave incident.

Donna

Yeah!

Don't worry. I brought it back.

Now no-one gets any popcorn!

Leslie

What did I do wrong now?

No, actually we at the IOW loved what you said in your speech.

Leslie

Really!?

But, what we loved even more was how you, Ben gave Leslie a platform on which to speak her mind. Congratulations Ben Wyatt. You are this year's IOW Woman of the Year.

Leslie

Son of a bitch!