Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Jimmy, I'm impressed. You managed to balance out singles, couples, and families while keeping all of the exes at different tables, and still keeping the kids' tables away from the cake. You truly are the Zen master of seating charts.
More the master of musical chairs.
You know, speaking of the right person, since you don't have a plus-one tonight, I'd like you to meet one of my friends. Name's Clark Kent. You heard of him?
Better wear your bow and arrow, Cupid. That bumbling tadpole is not my Prince Charming.
Well, maybe you just need to jump his lily pad and plant one on him. Come on. I've seen the way you two look at each other.
[scoffs] You need to get your eyesight checked, Olsen. Clark doesn't like me. He likes... driving me crazy.
Flirtation 101, Lane. I mean, that's what a guy does when he's into a girl.
Really?
Trust me. Lois and Clark would be great together. I can feel it in my gut.
Well, take some Ex-Lax, get over it.
And remember what the General always says: "Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy". (she pauses) You can edit that last part out, right?
So Oliver Queen moonlights as Green Arrow. Does Clark know about you?
I think I can safely say he knows more of my secrets than he does yours. You're not going to tell me you're down here on vacation fishing for marlin, are you?
We both know that two hours ago more than 430,000 megagigs of LuthorCorp RAM and ethernet cables were running through this place.
Sounds like we each came here with a score to settle.
Hey, it's nice to see the kinder, gentler Chloe.
Nothing like having a binary bad guy cleansed from your system to put a spring back in your step.
You know I gotta say being at the mercy of modern technology really sucks. (Clark gives her a strange look) I know, I know, I'm happy to be Brainiac-free but, my evil upgrade was really... convenient.
That's a ballsy move, sitting in the boss' chair. Either you have good news for me, or you like to live dangerously close to the edge. (discovers her guard is dead) I guess it's the latter.
(laughing) Please tell me that the bed was already wobbly.
Lana, it's made of solid oak. What do you say we find out how strong the floor is?
What guns you got in your arsenal?
(Sighs) I guess I might as well just throw it all out there. I can blast fire out of my eyes.
Okay...
I can hear a dog barking from ten miles away. I can see through solid objects and I can run faster than the speed of sound.
Wait. Rewind. (discreetly covers herself) Expand on your whole... see-through-things... thing.
Did Lex talk to you about me?
He kept a journal.
Hey! One year closer to the sweet release of death!
How wonderfully morbid.
Rough birthday, huh?
You ever seen the napalm scene in Apocalypse Now? More fire, less cake.
I can't ever totally make it up to you or your friends but I would like to try to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again.
Here's a thought... don't do it again.
It's okay. I'm Chloe.
(Clark gives Chloe-as-Lois a skeptical look)
Stood-her-up-at-formal Chloe. Planted-one-on-you-because-Zod-was-ending-the-world Chloe.
(Clark looks even more skeptical)
Krypton, Jor-El, Fortress, Brainiac Chloe!
(truth dawning) Chloe!?!
Bingo.
You already know what you really want. We all do. We just don't listen.
And you're sure this is it?
This is where I belong.
Aquaman online. Canary online. Cyborg online. Impulse online.
Arrow online.
Watchtower is officially online... let's get to work.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
