I go to sleep for one lousy day and I wake up in the Twilight Zone.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[as the Rhino is stealing money]
Hold it, horn-head, you didn't fill out a withdrawal slip!
Eat acid, Spider-Man!
Sorry, I'm on an acid-free diet!
[to Chameleon, disguised as Spider-Man]
Well, aren't you a handsome gent?
Back off, you pea-brained, uncoordinated, absurdly-dressed excuse for a man!
Who are you calling "absurdly-dressed"?!
You weren't born with your spider powers, were you?
No, I won them on a quiz show.
[looking at a computer scan]
Amazing! These patterns imply Neogenics involved. How could that be?
That was the category I chose.
Time to take your medicine, you fly-eating loser. And shock therapy's just what the doctor ordered!
[After they unmask a powerless Peter Parker]
I say we destroy him now!
Your mind is as empty as that fishbowl you cover it with. Can you not see the truth? He is not Spider-Man.
I'm not?
Think of his miserable performance here tonight. The last time I fought Spider-Man, he was formidable, powerful, agile, almost invincible. This time he was ridiculous!
Wait a minute, I get it! [to Peter] You couldn't find the real Spider-Man, so you put on a cheap Halloween costume?
[playing along] Right...! Sure can't trick you guys.
What do you take us for, idiots? I'm shocked - and you're going to be too!
It seems my congratulations were premature, Kingpin. We crime lords asked you to destroy Spider-Man, and instead, you kidnap an old lady and strongarm her weak nephew. Pathetic! To think I used to admire you.
[to the Insidious Six]
Oh don't worry, nutjobs. I had words with that snitch Parker, and now I'm gonna take care of you. [to himself] Oh, right. For starters, I might just drown you in nervous sweat!
[after Spider-Man and Silvermane tumble into a building]
Smooth, just the way I planned it.
[after Rhino inadvertently rips Shocker's costume with his horn]
Rhino, you clown! Your horn just ripped my electro suit! What's wrong with you?!
[after the Shocker's costume blows up]
Whoa, talk about wearing flashy clothes.
[as the Kingpin's searchlight shines on him and Silvermane]
You know, I've never been one to seek out the spotlight.
[lowering Silvermaine down a chimney]
Sorry about this, but if you say "ho-ho-ho" real loud, there's less chance you'll get stuck.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.