[The first episode. Elsie Tanner is fighting with her son Dennis]
ETElsie Tanner
Sometimes I wish we were more like them Barlows. At least they're not rowin' all the time!
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[The second episode. Martha and Ena are discussing death]
ESEna Sharples
Sometimes I think I am bout ready to go down to that cemetery.
MLMartha Longhurst
Really?
EEna
I would just like to go the way me mother did.
MMartha
Ooh, that were a beautiful ending.
EEna
Lovely - she just sat up, broke wind, and died.
[Valerie Barlow is angered at Ken, after the twins are almost killed when the house goes on fire]
KBKen Barlow
Well, what can I do after this lot?
VValerie
is still angered and does not reply
Val. What do you want me to say? That I made a stupid mistake? That I shouldn't have gone out and left them? [Tries to make out what he hopes is Val's reply] "Oh no, Ken! I agree!" Val, will you listen?
VValerie
Another five minutes, and this whole house could have gone up! Peter and Susan lying upstairs alone, what chance do you think they'd have had?
Val, please don't rub it in, how do you think I feel?
VVal
One night a week, I go out, one night! I don't know, maybe it's my fault, maybe I'm expecting too much! You're supposed to be the one with the brains, you're always telling me how stupid I am! There isn't a kid in this street who'd do what you did - go out leaving two babies alone, a fire half way up the chimney with a maiden of clothes drying, and for what? to go drinking at the Rovers?
That's not true and you know it, I went to get some cigarettes!
VVal
Then what took you so long? I was here five minutes before you even showed your face! Where were you?
I told you, I got involved in a stupid argument!
VVal
You think, you read about it in the papers and you think "This can never happen to me!", but it can and it very nearly did and all because of you!
Val...
[Ken prepares to light a cigarette as Val storms towards the door]
VVal
If I catch you with another cigarette, I'll take the twins and I'll leave you!
[Valerie is getting ready for a party, as the family are emigrating to Jamaica, when her hairdryer breaks, and she attempts to fix it]
VBValerie Barlow
Hello? Oh hi! Yes, I know, but you've no idea, when I got the dress out, the hemp had come unpicked, and... well... you'll just have to wait! I haven't got another dress and my hair is still wet!
[who is at the Rovers] Well, come as you are... wet hair, no dress - it's all the rage! Don't be so bashful! Oh come on, you've got to put your face on. Look, why not wear the one that god gave you, we both happen to like it!
VValerie
Look, give me about half an hour... well twenty minutes and I'll be fit to be seen. Yes, well you're my husband, so it's a bit different... that's a bit cheeky, even for you! Soon as I can! Bye.
[Albert and Irma are talking about Val Barlow's sudden death in a fire.]
AAlbert
I have lived my life. Why couldn't the Good Lord have taken me stead of our Valerie?
IIrma
I think it has something to do with being born a Barlow or marrying a Barlow, life sure has it in for us.
[Deirdre Hunt is drunk, at a party, slumped on a sofa with Alan Howard]
Deirdre Hunt (Anne Kirkbride): Do you know what I want most in all the world?
Alan Howard (Alan Browning): No.
DDeirdre
Go on, ask me, say "What do you want most in all the world?"
AAlan
What do you want most in all the world?
DDeirdre
A wardrobe.
[Minnie is going to tell Albert that she does not want to marry him]
ATAlbert Tatlock
Have you got summat to tell me?
Minnie Caldwell (Margot Bryant): Yes, Albert, I'm afraid I have.
AAlbert
Well, if you got summat to say, spit it out instead of rabbitin' on about nothin'.
MMinnie
I am not rabbitin' on about nothin', Albert, I am definitely rabbitin' on about somethin'.
AAlbert
What?
MMinnie
Our future life together. I don't think we got one.
[Annie Walker discusses the nobility of yesteryear with Fred Gee while sewing her Queen Elizabeth costume for the Jubilee celebrations]
AWAnnie Walker
They knew the meaning of magnificence.
[After a day at the Lake, Fred had sent Annie Walker's car in the lake, with Bet Lynch and Betty Turpin inside]
BLBet Lynch
Things were bad. You had more than enough to answer for before, but now...
FGFred Gee
Oh, belt up, will you?
BBet
...you've done me and my gorgeous new outfit the final, the most unforgivable mischief! Not content with doing your damnedest to feed me to the flamin' fishes, you have put me down right slap bang in the middle of a flamin' cow plop!
[After finding out the truth about Mike, Jackie want him out of her life]
Mike Baldwin (Johnny Briggs): Jackie! Who's a clever boy then? Get your facts right, a little bit of chat and look what Michael's pulled out... a hat!
JIJackie Ingram
Don't touch me!
MMike
What?
JJackie
I don't want you to touch me and I don't want you anywhere near me.
[Steve, on the eve of his re-marriage to Karen, summarizes the plot so far for his twin brother Andy (who is revisiting the Street briefly to be Steve's best man). Of course it all falls apart at the wedding]
Steve McDonald (Simon Gregson): I got Tracy Barlow pregnant, who stalked me, and cancelled my wedding behind my back. I've got a baby daughter nobody knows about, who is being looked after by the Croppers. Roy thinks he's the father, and so does his trans-sexual partner Hayley. ... I am officially the luckiest man alive. The Croppers are happy, Tracy is happy, and I'm getting married in the morning.
[After Tracy had cancelled Karen and Steve's wedding plans]
KMKaren McDonald
(Suranne Jones) to Tracy Barlow (Kate Ford): Try any more stunts like that and I will be booking your funeral! Now that, is enough!
[Kelly flirts with the new mechanic]
Kelly Crabtree (Tupele Dorgu): I treat my body like a temple.
Janice Battersby (Vicky Entwistle): Open to everyone, day and night.
[Blanche is throwing Danny and Frankie out of her house without notice]
Frankie Baldwin (Debra Stephenson): You can't do that. It's illegal!
Blanche Hunt (Maggie Jones): Then sue me! (Slams her front door shut. Frankie looks through the letter box)
FFrankie
You cannot kick us out of our house, you looney!
Danny Baldwin (Bradley Walsh): Get up Frankie. She won't hear you - she's as deaf as a post!
I heard that!
[Jason and Sarah are having the mother of all rows]
Jason Grimshaw (Ryan Thomas): I don't know what I ever saw in you, you bunny boiling freak! Cheap sex whinging gob! Legs from heaven, personality from hell.
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