Carmen Sandiego quotes from Carmen Sandiego

Carmen

On top of the world. I can see La Cathédrale Saint-Pierre from here.

The Player

[over the intercom in Carmen's ear] Friendly advice: save the sightseeing for after the job.

Carmen

Ha-ha. Player, glad to hear you're on board.

The Player

You know I wouldn't miss a night out with you for the world, Red. Let's get this party started.

Carmen

The Eye of Vishnu.

The Player

What is it, Red?

Carmen

I'm staring at something I thought I'd never, ever set eyes on again.

The Player

It better be more valuable than a sparkly blue gemstone the size of my head.

Carmen

Define "valuable." They say beauty's in the eye of the beholder.

The Player

Are you gonna tell me what it is, Red, or--

Chase

Interpol! Open this door!

The Player

Bag the gem and get outta there already!

Chase

I said open up! [rams the door open to find Carmen holding a small bag] Stop, thief!

Carmen

On who's authority?

Chase

On the authority of, uh... [reaches for his badge but finds that it's gone]

Carmen

[holding Chase's badge] "Inspector Chase Devinaux, Interpol." "Chase," huh? Hmph. Let's see what in a name. [throws Chase's badge at him]

Chase

[bursts through the windows] I order you to stop! [Carmen stops; Chase climbs out the window and tiptoes slowly along the wall]

Carmen

You didn't say for how long. [runs away]

Chase

IT WAS IMPLIED!!! [runs after Carmen]

Carmen

First class. Sweet.

The Player

My treat, Red. You earned it.

Crackle

Well, well. [activates his Crackle Rod; Carmen turns around to face him] Blast from the past, eh? [fires an electromagnetic pulse]

The Player

Red! Carmen!

Carmen

Dude, seriously? Static cling?

Crackle

Side effect of the directional EMP. So you can about reaching for your phone or fancy toys. They're dead.

Carmen

I know how an electromagnetic pulse works, Gray. You aren't the only one who passed Dr. Bellum's class. And you didn't really think I'd take any of your bait without checking for a tracking device, did you, Gray? [Crackle gives a shocked look] That's right, I wanted you to find me. It's time we tied up loose ends.

Crackle

You were the only loose end until five seconds ago when I captured the elusive Carmen Sandiego. Or should I call you... Black Sheep?

Carmen

I thought I knew you like the big brother I never had, Gray. [the trains stops] Until that moment.

Crackle

What can I say? Graduation was a game-changer.

Carmen

[disgusted] Evil. Hmph! My entire upbringing was a lie. Stealing isn't a game. It does harm people, especially when you're willing to steal lives.

Chase

ARGH!!! So close! [drives after the train; his phone rings] What is it now, Ms. Argent?! I am driving!

Julia

Inspector Devinaux, the purported crime scene is actually filled with stolen goods of all kinds. Cash, bonds, art.

Chase

[confused] What? Was the apartment owner not the robbery victim?

Julia

That's what I said. So I did some fact-checking. The owner on record isn't an individual, but an import-export company. But even more intriguing, the places Carmen Sandiego recently robbed, the Swiss Bank, the art gallery in Cairo, the Shanghai amusement park, all have ties to the same company.

Chase

Ms. Argent, what is it you are trying to say?

Julia

Well, what if, for whatever reason, Carmen Sandiego were a thief who only steals from other thieves?

Chase

Grr, no! [his engine begins stalling as the gas tank is empty] No, no, no, no, no, no, no! [his car stops and he steps outside and kicks the door in rage]

Crackle

End of the line. We miss you, Black Sheep. VILE wants a truce.

Carmen

They want me stealing for them instead of from them.

Crackle

You've proven yourself. It's all you even wanted, isn't it?

Chase

Aha!

Crackle

The league's offering you a full pardon. Even Shadowsan's on board. They'll make things right if you just come home, where you belong.

Carmen

I was hoping we'd end up on the side again tonight, Gray. My side.

Crackle

[sighs] Still in a league of your own. [charges up his Crackle Rod and aims it Carmen] Bye-bye, Black Sheep.

Carmen

You weren't listening. I go by Carmen now. [pushes Crackle, causing him to miss his shot; a fight occurs when Carmen yanks the Crackle Rod from Crackle and aims it at him, but nothing happens]

Crackle

Huh. Fingerprint recognition. [goes to grab the rod, but Carmen kicks him to the window]

Carmen

They never protect the face. [smashes the Crackle Rod]

Chase

Carmen Sandiego, you're under arrest! [pulls off the hat, but finds that's it's really an unconscious Crackle wearing Carmen's coat] NOOOOO!!!! [the train begins to move and Chase looks out the window to see Carmen leaving the station] NO!! NOT AGAIN!! [his phone rings] Yes? What is it?

Julia

Inspector Devinaux, we turned up something rather astonishing. I believe it's the Eye of Vishnu from the unsolved Morocco heist. We found it between the couch cushions. Almost as if--

Chase

Let me guess! Almost as if Carmen Sandiego wanted us to find it. Ha! If our thief indeed left such a treasure behind, she must have gotten away with something truly priceless!

The Player

Wait, seriously?! You didn't take the gemstone?

Carmen

Total win-win. I knew Interpol would get it back where it belonged, which left my hands free to take the real treasure: [opens the bag to reveal her old Matyoshka dolls] my oldest travelling companions. Like an archaeology find, the only link I have to my past. [removes a tracking device from the bottom of the doll] I have Gray to thank for using them to bait me. [places the tracking device on a nearby boat] Now, did you wire the proceeds from the Shanghai job to the next non-profits on my list?

The Player

Food bank, homeless shelter, orphanage. Check. I even had time to decrypt the next entry. Another secret VILE hideout, located in Southeast Asia on the island of Java.

Carmen

Just when I thought I was through with islands. [sighs] Paris will be here. We need to stay one step ahead of VILE while we still have the advantage.

The Player

I'll book you a red-eye.

Chief, we have Carmen Sandiego in our sights.