Sam Axe quotes from Burn Notice

Michael

Don't make a move unless things go bad.

Sam

And if things go bad?

Michael

Well, it was nice seeing you guys again.

Michael

I just want to find evidence Dennis set the bomb yesterday and turn this mess over to the police.

Sam

I never thought I would hear those words from you.

Michael

I never had to walk around with hole in my clavicle before.

Michael

[referring to Vaughn] His organization has never faced this kind of exposure before. I imagine he'll marshal all of his forces and send them this way.

Sam

So, the gates of hell will open...

Jesse

The apocalypse will be upon us...

Fiona

And everyone we know and love will be in danger of becoming very dead.

Madeline

So what else is new?

Sam

He's gonna have to shove you around, maybe tear your shirt a little--

Tear my shirt? Why don't you just hit me?

Michael

I'm not going to hit you, Mom!

Michael, it's not like I've never been hit before.

Michael

[after a long moment] Turn your face away when you feel the impact. It'll distribute the force. But it'll still hurt.

I know.

Fiona

[during stakeout] We've been here two days, Sam. Face it, this guy is not calling the shots. He has Christmas lights hanging in July. He may look a little bit like Michael, but there is no way he's capable of killing a CIA officer and setting Michael up for it.

Sam

Yeah, well, I don't think he's capable of setting a table. Yesterday, I found a brochure about raising Alpacas for profit in his trash.

Fiona

So let's scrap this cloak and dagger and go have a little chat. I'm wearing my door-kicking Jimmy Choos.

Sam

There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Is Fi --

Michael

I was too late, Sam.

Sam

Look, Mike, you can't blame yourself. I mean, there was nothing you could do. It wasn't like any of us could stop her.

Michael

And what about you, Sam?

Sam

What are you talking about?

Michael

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Sam

No -- I don't.

Michael

You expect me to believe she knocked you out. How is that possible? [grabs Sam forcibly] How is that possible!

Sam

Mike, come on, man. What do you want me to say? Okay. Yeah, yeah, maybe I could have fought her off. That's right. But did it ever occur to you that maybe she was right? You were losing yourself, Mike! You were selling out everything you ever fought for!

Michael

I was fighting for her!

Sam

By burning spies? Mike, you were betraying your friends. You were about to betray your God damned government.

Michael

What do I do now, Sam? What do I do? I've just been fighting for so long, Sam, and she was all I had left.

Sam

Now you're just going to have to fight a little more.

Pearce

He's probably waiting to take a shot at us when we go in.

Sam

Well, that's why God made flashbang grenades.

Sam

Hate to say it, Mike, but I think your mouth wrote a check that your butt can't cash. I mean, you see the section here where the C.I.A. says Ahmed is untouchable? I think that means, you know, no touching.

Michael

Maybe you missed this page: the C.I.A. doesn't care about Ahmed, they care about the intel. He's got all the files on a hard drive. We find that drive, we turn it over to the C.I.A., they'll wrap him up.

Sam

Yeah, no I definitely saw that page. Just like I saw this one here: the Agency sent a team into his Bermuda compound back in '08 looking for the hard drive. They didn't find it. What makes you think we can?

Michael

Sam, if I don't help Pearce she's going to ruin her career. Without her at the Agency I'll never get Fi out of prison.

Sam

Okay, wait wait. It says here the guy is getting ready to take a cruise. Maybe you isolate him on the boat, make him think that he's sick.

Michael

If he doesn't think that he's going to make it --

Sam

He starts talking.

Michael

And the first person he calls is his son Sharif back in Bermuda. It's perfect, Sam!

Sam

Well, perfect isn't going to work. We don't have the manpower. You've got to have three on the cruise, three on the land side, and if the C.I.A. can't know about this, well they're not going to pitch in.

Michael

I can get you a team.

Sam

[laughs] Who? Nate and your ma? Oh, wow. You're not kidding are you? Look, Mike, nothing against the Westen clan, but I'm going to be real glad when we get Fi out of the clink.

Jesse

Ok, I have it pointed away from the door.

Sam

Is it enough?

Jesse

Should be.

Sam

"Should be" or "it is"? "Should be" is how bomb techs lose body parts.

Sam

If that bastard knows what's good for him, he'll come back home in the next thirty minutes.

Jesse

You're not gonna make it to happy hour, Sam. Let it go.

Sam

If I don't, this is gonna be a lot more snatching than grabbing, I can tell ya that much.

Jesse

What the hell does that even mean?

Sam

You're gonna find out what it means.

Jesse

This Lone Ranger thing might feel noble, but it's going to get you killed one day.

Sam

Actually, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto and the horse.

Jesse

Yeah. [points to himself] Tonto... [points to Sam] and horse.

Jesse

Well, they missed a good funeral. Where do you think they are?

Sam

Hard to say. A lot of places in the world with C4 and yogurt. We'll be here for them. They'll contact us when the time is right. Got any plans?

Jesse

Not really, no. You?

Sam

I'm supposed to meet a guy at the Carlito later. Friend of Elsa's.

Jesse

What about?

Sam

I don't know, some kind of problem. Sounded pretty desperate on the phone. Wanna come with?

Jesse

You buying the Mojitos?

Sam

Deal.