Michael Westen quotes from Burn Notice

Michael

I'll see what I can do.

Michael

[V.O.] Covert intelligence involves a lot of waiting around. Any meeting, any appointment, you have to show up early, make sure you are not followed; make sure the area is secured; check out the other guy's advance team and see how well he is prepared. It's good trade craft but it's like hanging out in your dentist's reception area 24 hours a day. You read magazines, sip coffee, and every once in a while someone tries to kill you.

Michael

[V.O.] In a fight, you have to be careful not to break the little bones in your hand on someone’s face. Never happens in movies, but in real life a busted hand will get you killed. That’s why I like bathrooms. Lots of hard surfaces.

Michael

[V.O.] My mom would have made a great N.S.A. communications operative. Drop me in the middle of the Gobi Desert, hide me on top of the Himalayas, bury me in a goddamn cave on the moon, and somehow, some way, she’d find a way to call me and ask me for a favor. [screams into a pillow]

Michael

[V.O.] Thirty years of karate. Combat experience on five continents. A rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds an edge. Still haven't found any defense to Mom crying into my shirt.

Michael

[V.O.] For a job like getting rid of the drug dealer next door, I'll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make you stupid; better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.

Michael

[V.O.] There is a reason spies have a hard time making friends.

Michael

[V.O.] What do you do when an operation goes bad? Not much to do, but smile and try to stay alive.

Michael

[V.O.] Southern Nigeria isn't my favorite place in the world to be; it's unstable, it's corrupt, and the people there eat a lot of terrible-smelling preserved fish. There is one good thing about Nigeria, though: it's the gun-running capital of the world, which makes it a bad place to drive a passenger sedan through a crowded market.

Michael

[V.O.] My mother's understanding of my career changes with what she wants from me. One day, she can name everyone on the National Security Council, the next day, she thinks I work for the post office.

Michael

[V.O.] A hitman is like a plumber, a dentist or a mechanic. Everybody is always looking for a good one.

Michael

[V.O.] Truth is, identity theft isn't hard. A number and an ID is all you need to drain a bank account and return some money to some very surprised retirees. But why stop there? As long as you're stealing someone's identity, why not use it to contact some known terrorist organizations on unsecured phone lines? Why not use it to threaten federal judges and insult the local drug cartel? Most fun I've had in Miami.

Michael

[V.O.] When you go on the run, the first thing you do is lay down tracks in the opposite direction, but that only works if the bad guys find the trail and believe it's for real, which means selling it. You need to put on a little show, make them feel clever. When you make somebody work to get a piece of information they'll believe it that much more because it's hard to get.

Michael

[To Sam] Well, I'll tell you what, if there's a situation that requires showing off your upper body and boozy flirting, you're my guy.

Michael

[V.O.] International conferences attract spies for the same reason hotel bars attract hookers: you can do business and drink for free.