Michael Westen quotes from Burn Notice

Sam

Mike, I saved your ass at the warehouse, the least you could do is have some decent beer in the fridge.

Michael

Next time you plan on saving my ass, tell me before I go to the store.

Fiona

Honestly, I don't know why they bother. They should just put a bullet in your head and be done with it.

Michael

Apparently I'm more valuable alive than dead. But I'm sure they'll take it under advisement.

Fiona

You have always had a problem with my work. I have always supported you.

Michael

I'm helping people; you're running guns! Big difference!

Michael

Do you have guns in the trunk, Fi?!

Fiona

A few semi-automatics, yeah. I got a deal, Michael. This guy was selling Browning 9mms for 200 bucks a piece.

Michael

You have unregistered weapons in a stolen car, Fi!

Fiona

I know a few Iranians who are coming into town.

Michael

Oh, let's avoid people who use "Michael Westen" and "jihad" in the same sentence.

Michael

So you understand? You pick up the package and walk away. Got it?

Yeah.

Michael

You don't look at us, you don't talk to us, you just walk out with the video. Fiona and I will be watching to see if the kidnappers have someone there and Sam will follow in the car if he sees anyone leave.

Okay, so I walk to the car.

Michael

No, Nick; focus. You just walk away.

Fiona

You pick up the package and you leave like we're not even there.

But wait, you will be there, right?

Michael

Yes, we will be there. Okay, go ahead. [Nick tries to get out but the door is locked.] Unlock it first.

Michael

[V.O.] The art of turning someone into a double agent is delicate. The target has to be put into a fragile psychological state.

Get this crazy bitch away from me!

Michael

[V.O.] Fortunately, fragile psychological states are a specialty of Fiona's.

Now I have to check in with Reyes. I'm already late, he's going to know that something is wrong.

Michael

Fine, call him. You broke your foot walking down the stairs at the mall, you forgot to call.

(confused) Broke my foot? I didn't break my foot.

Michael

There you go.

Sam

He heard that she had a boyfriend who could help.

Michael

He heard that she had a boyfriend that could help.

Sam

I was vague. I said I was a freelance superhero Robin Hood kinda guy.

Michael

That's vague.

Fiona

Evelyn comes along and she's attractive, sweet, needy. Don't deny it.

Michael

Fine.

Fiona

Isn't it interesting she turned out to be who she turned out to be. What shall we make of that?

Michael

You made your point, Fi.

Fiona

Did I?

Michael

Yep, you did.

Sam

Here ya go, Doug: my lucky vest.

Michael

It'll look great over my shirt.

Thanks.

Sam

It's a little worn, but it'll do the trick.

Are these bullet holes?

Sam

Yeah, I broke it in for ya. Just think of it like a seat belt.

Fiona

Yeah, a seat belt that smells of bourbon and Old Spice.

Hey bro, you look tired.

Michael

Hey Nate, you look clean. You shaved the ferret off your face.

Michael

That'll kill you, you know?

Sam

[referring to the gun] Yeah, no kiddin'.

Michael

No. The bucket of trans fat you've got there.

Michael

If we need more than this, we're doing something very wrong.

Fiona

Or something very right.

Michael

And if you don't do what I want, then I will rain hell down upon you until one of us is dead, and I am really, really good at raining down hell. I want an answer tomorrow.

Who are you?

Michael

I'm Michael Westen. I used to be a spy.