Michael Westen quotes from Burn Notice

Michael

Seems the people who burned me want me for a job. For now, that's all I got.

Sam

A job? Does it pay?

Michael

More of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.

Sam

Ah. Never liked those.

Michael

That stalker happens to have a MAC-10 in his jacket! Oh— you knew, didn't you?!

Sam

Mike, look, I did a little pre-scouting; I knew he was packing, but I didn't know he had a MAC-10. I thought it was, like... a regular gun.

She loves me more than her own life.

Michael

That's... a lot.

Michael

Fi, get me a sniper rifle and some C4.

Fiona

Oh, I like where this is going.

Michael

Mom, I gotta get to work, actually. Uh, what is it you need?

Madeline

Well, I can't find my salad spinner.

Michael

That is tragic.

[quoting from Michael's note] "I will be wearing a white shirt and..." [laughs] This word right here? It is a kind of... spicy goat cheese.

Michael

I was trying to say "black pants". My Urdu's a little rusty.

At least you got the name of the restaurant right.

Madeline

Do you know what his first word was? It was "Michael".

Michael

It was "juice"; I was there, his first word was "juice".

Madeline

True, but he was looking at you when he said it.

Michael

Do you love her?

Sam Axe

She could be the one.

Michael

Then say yes.

Sam

It's complicated.

Michael

[slowly] Then say no.

Sam

[sarcastically] You're a good friend, Mike.

Madeline

Uh, Sam, didn't you forget something? [Madeline hands him a number of bullets] I found them in your pants. I heard them rattling around in the washing machine when I was doing your laundry.

Sam

Yeah, 9 mm. Uh, hey, err, I don't know what to say.

Michael

I'd say nothing. Nothing's good. Go with nothing.

I don't like your field tactics.

Michael

I don't like your whining. Are you gonna pout all night?

Listen, I didn't pack enough underwear, so I borrowed a set of your boxers: the blue ones with the stripes.

Michael

[visibly horrified] They will never fit you; stay out of my closet.

They're a little snug down under, but I got all packed in. 'Preciate it.

Sam Axe

Mike, be glad you didn't have to see that.

Kick it! Kick it!

Hey, no ball on the sidewalk.

Michael

He started it.

Michael

[laying a series of photographs on the counter] Quite a clientele. Banker... Superior Court Judge... We thought we'd mail each of these people a photograph of himself walking out the door of this shop, in one of these lovely handsome frames...

All right, just stop it! I got a call about the drugs. I sell Viagra, Vicodin and tranqs, what am I gonna do with a million dollars' worth of anti-virals?

Who is this guy anyway?

His name's Gerard, he's a total psycho.

Michael

You are gonna call Gerard, you are going to tell him you have a buyer for his drugs.

No, I can't do that, that's insane...

Michael

What will the neighbors think? They've been living next to a... [shouts toward the door of the shop] DRUG DEALER!

Shh, shh, shh!

Michael

"He seemed so nice..."

Michael

Right now, I've got to do a job.....with Larry.

Sam

Larry? Dead Larry? [laughing] Oh, man, I hated that guy!

Michael

He's back.

Sam

Ok, I hate him present tense. He's a bad influence Mike, don't tell me you're working with him?

Michael

No, I'm not working with him, I'm working against him.

Sam

Well in that case, can I help?

Sam

[about Larry] Just "checking in"? He's got a weird thing for you.

Michael

It's because he doesn't have any friends.

Sam

That's because he's killed most of them, Mike.