Full disclosure, your Honor. Last night Miss Perez and I got inebriated and we had colitis.
Colitis?
Coitus.
Yeah, that.
A cop and a defense attorney sleeping together? That's highly unusual.
At the time I did not know she was a defense attorney. I should have been able to guess, however, based on her ability to lie all over me.
Ha ha! Oh, cop's attempt to be clever. It's like watching a horse trying to eat with a fork.
Majestic and hilarious? Take a cold shower, horn-dog, we're at work! But in all seriousness, your honor, I do think she should recuse herself from the trial.
Why? You think I might tell everyone in the courtroom that you like to be the little spoon?
[Defensive] Everyone likes to be the little spoon; it makes you feel safe! Carl, back me up on this.
Yes. Little spoon all the way.
See?
Look, I am not recusing myself. I talked to my client about it and he is fine with me staying on.
If the defendant is okay with it, and you two can be mature in the courtroom, then I see no reason why we can't proceed.
Great. I can be mature.
Says the guy who uses a sunglasses case as a wallet.
Stuff can be two things! Open up your refrigerator, boom! Air conditioner! Life hacked! Carl, back me up.
I mean, it's not very green.
Oh, Carl.
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