[The Pinkmans and their lawyer, Mr. Gardiner, receive an offer from an unknown buyer, represented by Saul Goodman]
You're not that lawyer from late-night television, are you?
[points] "Better Call Saul!" [laughs] I get it all the time!
We're here to discuss the sale of the property at 9809 Margo.
I get it. [sits down] Flat-fee clients, am I right? [to the Pinkmans] Well, folks, today's your lucky day! I represent a client who shall remain nameless–however, for our purposes, you might just as well visualize a large bag of money. This individual wants to buy your house, today, for cash.
Cash?
Cash! I know, in this economy? In fact, the money is already burnin' a hole in my client's account. You can ask Mr. Gardiner; I've shown him all the pertinent financials.
It's the only reason we're sitting here.
...Fair enough. We, uh, get a few papers signed and notarized and we can take care of this right now. [to the Pinkmans] In fact, I could wire you your money this very afternoon! There's just one little hair in the soup, ah... the price.
[beat] We feel 875 is very fair.
But I suppose there's always a little, uh... wiggle room?
Well, uh... why don't you wiggle us on down to 400, and you got yourselves a deal.
400,000? What is that, a joke?
No, that's my offer.
That's less than half price!
We put almost that much into the renovations alone.
Why don't you cut the clown act and tell us what you're willing to come up to?
400,000. That's my final offer.
[The Pinkmans and Mr. Gardiner get up in disgust]
Well, this was a waste of time.
Ridiculous! You gotta be kidding me! Come on, honey.
How could you possibly imagine that we would entertain this?
I don't know. I just thought some allowance was in order once I heard about the meth lab. [beat; everyone stops and looks at Saul] The one that used to be in the basement. I looked over your signed disclosure statements, and I don't see any mention of a meth lab. [flips through the documents] Nope... oh, you got your termite inspection! That's good... but no meth lab. Now, some would call that fraud in service of concealing a felony. I, myself, am more open-minded, but... it is tricky. And don't get me wrong: I applaud your cojones! I mean, good try of sneaking a meth-contaminated property past the buyer. I mean... tsk, could have been a good deal for you. Too bad. Now, I could file a suit and encumber this property indefinitely, or I could start some criminal proceedings, but I don't think any of us want that, now do we? How about it, counselor? Do you concur?
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