Sir, it's all over the trenches!
Well, mop it up then!
No sir, the news! The Russian Revolution has started! The masses have risen up and shot all their nobs!
Well, hurrah!
Oh no, the bloody Russians have pulled out of the war!
Well, we soon saw them off, didn't we? Miserable, slant-eyed sausage-eating swine!
The Russians are on our side, George.
[surprised] Are they? Oh.
And they've abandoned the Eastern Front.
And they've overthrown Nicholas II who used to be bizarre!
Who used to be the tsar, Baldrick. The point is that now that the Russians have made peace with the Kaiser, at this very moment a quarter of a million Germans are leaving the Russian Front and coming here with the express purpose of using my nipples for target practice. There's only one thing for it - I'm going to desert, and I'm gonna do it right now. [about to leave]
[showing up, menacingly] Are you leaving us, Blackadder?
[nervously backpedaling] No, sir.
I'm glad to hear it, because I need you to help me shoot some deserters later on. There have been subversive mutterings amongst the men. You'll remember the French Army last year at Verdun when the top echelons suffered tremendous risings from the bottom.
Yes, sir, but surely that was traced to a shipment of garlic eclairs?
Nonsense, Blackadder! It was Bolshiness! Plain Bolshiness! And now that the Ruskies have followed suit, I'm damned if I'm going to let the same thing happen here.
Oh, and what are you going to do about it?
We're going to have a concert party to boost the men's morale.
A concert party? Well, hurrah!
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