Blackadder, Lady Whiteadder and others in “Unfinished Business”

[comes back, now very drunk, and wearing the cardinal's hat] Percy, I lost the bet.

[shocked] Edmund, explain yourself!

I can't. Not just like that. I'm a complicated person, you see, Auntie. Sometimes I'm nice, and sometimes I'm nasty! Hehe! And sometimes I just like to sing little songs like, See the little goblin-

I mean explain why you are wearing a cardinal's hat, why you are grinning inanely, and... [Edmund falls over onto a chair with his back facing the table] ...why you have an ostrich feather sticking out of your britches.

I'm wearing a cardinal's hat because I'm Cardinal Chunder. I have an ostrich feather up my bottom because Mr. Ostrich put it there to keep in the little pixies. And I'm grinning inanely because I think I've just about succeeded in conning you and your daft husband out of a whopping great inheritance. Eeheeheeheeheehee!

Is that right?! May I remind you, cursed creature, that your inheritance depends upon not drinking and not gambling!

Oh yes. Damn. Percy, the devil farts in my face once more.

Not mentioning farts was also a condition.

Shove off, you old trout.

[offended] How dare you speak to my husband like that! Nathaniel, we're leaving! [to Percy] And you.

Percy

Yes?

Has anyone ever told you you're a giggling imbecile?

Percy

Oh, yes.

Good.

Good riddance, you old witch. [a knock on the door] Oops, she's forgotten her broomstick.

[opens the door; breaking the vow of silence] Look... [looks behind him, then turns back to Blackadder] I just wanted to say thanks for a splendid evening! Yes, first rate all around. Particularly your jester. By the way, I loved the turnip. [snickers] Very funny. Exactly the same shape as a thingy! [leaves]