[Edmund goes outside, and finds a woman riding a horse, sidesaddle. He bows to her, then grabs her feet and pushes her off the mount. He then follows McAngus, who is out for a hunt. Edmund sneaks up behind, but gets caught in one of McAngus' animal snare traps]
Aaahhhhh!
Dougal McAngus: [without looking] Can I help you?
Um, no, no. I'm fine, thank you.
Good.
[Long pause]
I'm not in your way over here, am I?
No.
Oh, there is just, er, one thing. Um...I was wondering if you could do me a little favor.
[finally stands up and turns to Edmund] Uh-huh?
Erm, I was wondering if you'd like to help with the celebrations tonight.
How? By stayin' away, do you mean?
[Edmund chuckles a bit, but then starts to scream as McAngus raises an axe. McAngus chops Edmund's bindings; Edmund falls to the forest floor, and remains lying there, trying to look casual]
Erm, well, the thing is: um, we were hoping to present a mystery play by one of our leading Thespianic troupes, erm, but, unfortunately, one of their number is ill, erm, and I thought you'd be the perfect person to [standing up] ...to take his place.
Well, I warn you; [swipes down at the ground, killing a badger] I'm no actor.
Well, there shouldn't be much acting required. [McAngus tosses the badger's corpse aside] Erm, it's an ancient Egyptian piece, er, called "The Death of the Scotsman".
I'll have a crack at it. [throws a knife at a creature, which screams]
You...You could play the Scotsman, if you like, who...who dies at the end of the play.
Oh! Acting dead! Now that I can do. [walks off]
Yes, well, as I say: there...there may not be much acting required. [grins evilly to himself, then walks off]
[off-screen] Oh, and er, mind the weasel pit.
[falls in] Aaahhhhh!
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