Attention, shoppers. I'm here to ask you an important favor. Gather round. Come over here and listen. Don't vote for me, I'm an insult. Seriously. Vote for Monroe or Harris, or, I dunno, UKIP or even that Lib Dem guy. Seriously, only an arsehole would actually vote for me! I'm worse than a wasted vote! I mean it, you idiots, don't vote for me! Don't vote for me! DON'T VOTE FOR ME! DON'T VOTE FO--
[Jamie is temporarily silenced by Jack. Harris' campaign aide throws food at the truck, and the crowd starts to boo]
[towards crowd] Shut up!
No, don't boo him! He's right, he's right.
What are you doing?!
Resigning.
[Jamie leaves the truck and walks out into the surrounding crowd]
Look, it's me, I'm Waldo! This guy, whoever this guy is, [gestures towards Harris' campaign aide] he's a hero! You should throw stuff at Waldo, he's bad bloody news!
He's funny!
He's not.
[as Waldo] Don't listen to that man! He's a lesbian! Ahh!
[the crowd breaks out in laughter while Jamie stands bewildered]
So, remember, the polls are open, and if you've got my app, you can unlock new stuff like new catchphrases and a new hat n' that. Only an idiot wouldn't vote for me! So, question the status quo! Kick 'em where it hurts and--
[attempting to destroy the monitors on the truck with a nearby sign] Kill it!
The first man to hit him gets 500 quid! Yeah, that's right, knock him down! Knock him down! Smash it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
[several members of the crowd start to assail Jamie until he is beaten unconscious]
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