The truth, so crazy it just may work.
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[to Duncan] You work thirty hours a day, fifteen days a week and you still have time to cheat on mom?
I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot! What was I thinking? Duncan Collinsworth loves himself far too much to kill himself.
Are you really serious about this? You want Marla to carry our baby.
You’d rather our child be carried by someone we don’t know?
No… but I’d rather it not be carried by someone with the emotional stability of Britney Spears.
[to Duncan] You… you’re like a drug to me. You make me feel amazing for an hour or for a weekend. And then you let me down and I come crashing back to reality. I’m a forty year old woman; it’s time for me to quit chasing that fairytale.
[to Cameron about hiring Zack] This is who you hired? Where'd you find him, Facebook?
How can sex ever end badly?
Maybe not for you, but believe me, I found a way.
Please tell me you're locking the door.
I...I...I can't work under these conditions. How am I supposed to make a baby with my wife popping in and out of the room?
[to Duncan] Wait a second. What the hell was that? You cannot go around punching people in the face; especially people I’m about to marry.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Big Shots pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.


