Give a man an insult, he can hurt people for a day. Teach a man to insult, he can hurt people who tease him because he never learned to fish. Anyway, I've devised a formula.
Look at that. You had a problem in your life and who stepped up to help you? Math. She has always been there for you, hasn't she, Phil?
If she ever took physical form, I'd leave my wife and marry her.
Stand in line, my friend.
Anyway, it's really quite simple. You take a person's most marked physical feature, compare it to genitalia—male, female, or animal—and end with the suffix "-bag," "-wipe", or "-muncher."
You could also add an optional reference to excretion from any of the glorious openings offered by the human body.
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