Lem and Phil in “Unfinished Business”

Lem

I'm so angry about the toilet paper. Why couldn't they leave it next to the toilet? That proximity was so elegant.

Phil

They think that if it's harder to reach, that we'll use less of it.

Lem

They've destroyed going to the bathroom for me. It used to be just a weird human function. Now it's actively stressful.

Phil

Ok, look, just take the roll off of the dispenser, and bring it with you, before you sit. That's what I do.

Lem

Wha... That's not normal, Phil!

Phil

It becomes normal if you keep doing it. Everything does.