You made it! Come on in. Picture a reception desk right here, alright? It's always nice to be greeted by a friendly face. Now, over in this corner we got a fireplace with a cozy waiting area: Couch, couple chairs, water cooler, electric kettle, maybe an assortment of teas? Now, this is my office, in here. Guess what? These are all original fixtures, so that's... Uh, we're four blocks from the courthouse here. So, how convenient is that? There's a bathroom and it's–it's... cute, heh! [opens bathroom door and quickly closes it] Phew, we're gonna get that cleaned out. Um, there's a shower in there for when you're buried in discovery late at night! This is for the partner, corner office: Lots of natural light, and that's great for your circadian rhythms. Uh... cherry blossoms! That's nice! And uh... [walks from one wall to the other while counting his steps] Six! It's pretty big. Um, there's a kitchenette down the hall, it's kind of perfect for snacks or uh, BYO lunch, heh. Get one of those snazzy Keurigs, put that in there. Stick a few potted plants around, make the place nice... What do you think?
[The camera reveals that Jimmy's talking to Huell]
No, but this is what the phones were for. So, if you were a lawyer, this would be a great place, right?
If I was a lawyer? Nope. Big glass high-rise, fortieth floor.
Yep. When I'm not on my boat.
[During one of his phone sales, Jimmy is approached by a man who he deduces is an undercover cop]
PPlatt
[holds up business card] This you? Saul Goodman?
Uh... That's right, officer.
PPlatt
[chuckles] You wanna know where I got it? Off a drug dealer who got sprung today, 'cause he was using a drop phone that you sold him.
PPlatt
Doesn't it bother you that you're peddling to a bunch of low-lifes who use these things to sell drugs?
What my customers do with the phones after they leave my possession, that's their business.
PPlatt
Let me ask you a favor, alright? Get your van out of here, park in front of a grocery store in Corrales—you know, some place nice—and... and sell there. You know, I'm sure there's a lot of... lot of soccer moms who could use some phones.
I don't know. I think my customer base is right here.
PPlatt
Get some new customers.
I don't feel the need to. See, I got a permit, and I'm collecting sales tax. And this is a legitimate business, right? So, anyone who wants to buy a phone from me is free to do so!
PPlatt
I'm asking nicely, okay?
Yeah, and I respectfully decline.
PPlatt
[pause] You're gonna go this way, huh?
There it is. What's it gonna be? What, is it gonna be littering or rolling through a stop sign? Hey, how about you plant something something in my glove compartment!
PPlatt
You know what, pal? Just take it easy, okay?
Well, maybe this is why people need privacy! Maybe this is why they need my phones! Maybe you're the problem!
PPlatt
Okay, so as long as you make a buck, the whole world can just go in the crapper?
[Huell is walking down the street with headphones on and sees Jimmy arguing with the officer]
[sees Huell walk up to them menacingly] No! No, no, no, no, no! Stop! He's a cop!
[Huell whacks the officer in the back of the head with a grocery bag. Jimmy gestures for him to take off the headphones.]
[Huell is sitting in the back of a cop car while Jimmy tries to talk the cops out of arresting him]
This is all just a mistake. My friend got confused, okay? He was just trying to do his job. I hired him for security, he was trying to protect me. You were in plain clothes. He had no idea you were a police officer.
PPlatt
Oh, he knew alright.
PPlatt
I picked him up three years ago.
PPlatt
Yeah. Pickpocketing.
[looks at Huell] Wha... Three years, that's a long time. I mean, how can you be sure it's the same guy?
Officer, look. You were right, I was wrong.
Yes, and you know what else? You will not see me out here selling my phones ever again, alright? So, just do me a favor. Let's just shake hands, avoid the paperwork, and we just go home.
PPlatt
Do you a favor? [shrugs] I was asking you for a favor.
PPlatt
Oh, I asked you nicely, and you told me to go, "screw myself." [gets in his car]
I don't... I don't think I used those words.
[Both cops drive off in their respective vehicles and take Huell away]
[Huell and Jimmy talk in the courthouse after Huell assaults the plainclothes officer]
Yeah, they always go for the max. Come on now, they'll calm down.
[snorts] PD didn't make it sound promising.
Heh, the guy, he's—he's just a burnout. He's trying to soften you up for an easy deal, alright? There's no way you'd do that kind of time!
You're goddamn right... wait. What—What do you mean?
I'mma bounce. I got places I can go.
No. Uh, no, that's not a good idea, Huell.
C'mon, you'll have a warrant on you, and that shit doesn't go away! You know, three years from now, you're pulled over for a broken tail light, and now you're not just a guy who shoved a cop; you're a guy who shoved a cop and ran.
Well, I just won't drive with a broken tail light.
Sooner or later, they're gonna catch up to you.
They didn't catch D.B. Cooper.
[Frustrated, Jimmy sits next to Huell]
Why don't you—Why don't you give me a shot at this? I... I think I can fix it.
Yeah. What if I told you, you're not going in?
Like, not at all? Not never? 'Cause that's what it's gonna take.
Yeah, never, alright? Just don't skip.
How you gonna do that? You ain't even a lawyer!
[scornfully] "A lawyer." Dude, I don't need to be a lawyer, alright? I'm a magic man. Will you have a little faith in me?
See, now I would help Huell myself if I could, but I don't think he's going to wait around a month for me to be reinstated.
You've been selling drop phones? On the street?
Kim, I... I just–if we could... Look, Kim. Here's what I'm thinking. I did a little recon, and the arresting officer, he has a DUI. Eight years ago. And he's been put on desk duty twice. I know he has anger issues, I can attest to it, right? So... We get him... smelling like a distillery and we piss him off in court. Now, he won't take the bait. He will lose his cool in front of the judge. A little stumble in there just for dramatic effect, and I have some thoughts on how to engineer that. But, you get the gist. Next thing you know, case dismissed.
[beat; walks back to her desk and dials a number on her phone] Viola, can you get me case material for Penal Code 34.22, sections 22-27? Yeah, battery on a P.O. Thanks. [hangs up phone]
Great. What's our first move?
I'm not tearing down a cop.
That's okay! You tell me.
I will look into this. I'm not making any promises, but if it is as bad as you say it is... I don't know. Maybe there's something I can do. Maybe.
Thanks, Kim. Listen, I really appreciate it.
[pause] And tell me if there's anything I can do.
