Dr. John Becker, Jake Malinak and others in “Man Plans, God Laughs”

You guys see the paper this morning?

John, we keep going over this. I'm blind. I haven't seen anything for five years.

Yeah, well it's unbelievable. Some kid in West Virginia gets a bad grade, grabs his daddy's rifle and shoots out his teacher's tyres. Another slice of Americana brought to you by those card-carrying lunatics who think they're defending the Second Amendment! Lord knows when I want the Constitution explained to me, the first place I turn to is some toothless cretin with a third-grade education and an Elmer Fudd cap! Not that I have anything against hunting; if it makes you feel more like a man to blow Bambi's head off, knock yourself out! Just lock up the damn gun so when little Billy Bob, you know, flunks gym, he doesn't throw a hissy fit and take out half the faculty!

Reg, we gotta get to the paper before he does so we can cut out everything that'll piss him off!

That pretty much leaves the weather and Charlie Brown.

Yeah, you know I hate that pathetic little clod! How hard is it to kick a damn football?!