Basil quotes from Babar

Basil

Bow down to Rataxes. King of Rhinoland and Celesteville!

Basil

Sorry to interrupt, your rhighness. But King Babar seems to think that Alexander is around here somewhere.

Rataxes

[about his hammer] Basil! This watchamacallit you stole is defective!

Basil

It's a tacky tyrant who blames his tools.

Rataxes

Feathers? What do I want with feathers?!

Basil

Oh, you don't want feathers, your rhighness.

Rataxes

Then what do I want?

Basil

You want to stall the elephants so you can get what you really want: Lady Retaxes' pet, Reginald!

Rataxes

Hah! I knew that's what I thought I wanted!

Basil

[after Rataxes saves Babar and Zephir from quicksand] You did it, your rhigness! You saved them! What a guy!

Rataxes

Quiet, Basil. I-I don't want it to get around!

Basil

Pedal, two, three, four! Pump, two, three, let's kick...

Rataxes

Please shut your face, two three, four!

Nah! If there were, the monster would have eaten 'em already.

Monster don't eat everything, you know.

Everything but broccoli; You've gotta respect them for that!

Rataxes

Okay, I want that stamp, And I want it now.

Basil

[clear his throat]

The stamp? [the stamp shows us a picture of Rataxes wearing a lady's hat] The stamp!

Pompadour

If I've told you once, I've told you thrice. We have no idea as to the whereabouts of your silly stamp.

Basil

Perhaps we should get while the getting's good, sir.

Rataxes

[hands Basil the desk lamp] Not until I get that stamp. It makes me look like a fool, [off-screen] the laughing stock of the entire forest!

Pompadour

I should think you're used to that!

Rataxes

Hurry up, Basil. I wanna go home!

Basil

You mean the mission's over? No more self-sacrifice for the good of mankind?

Rataxes

Listen, I'm all for self-sacrifice. But if there's nothing in it for me, forget it!

Rataxes

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who's the suavest of them all?

Basil

[off-screen] Your Rhiness.

Rataxes

Bingo!

Basil

Here's the hero you hollered for, your rhiness. It certainly looks heavenly.

Rataxes

Forget it, Basil. This morsel is all mine!

Basil

But my belly is baron, boss. I've missed breakfast and brunch. Haven't you heard the rule: "Share and share alike"?

Rataxes

Yes I have, Basil. And I make it a rule never to share what I like.

Lady Rataxes

[off-screen] RATAXES!

Rataxes

Oh my gosh! It's Lady Rataxes! If she catches me snacking, I'm done for.

Basil

Quick, in here! [opens mouth]

Lady Rataxes

You've been snacking again, haven't you?

Basil

I found it, your rhiness! A document detailing the diverse detours within those darn dark dungeon depths!

Lady Rataxes

[to Babar and Celeste] He found the map.

Rataxes

I'll take it! [takes away Isabelle's doll. Isabelle gasps and cries]

Basil

[takes back Isabelle's doll] I'll, uh, put it on the list, your Rhiness.

Father, father, Rataxes came into the music room and said he wanted to take the room and the piano--

Dad, dad, Rataxes said he wanted to take the banquet hall!

He said he was going to take my bedroom too. What does he want my for?

King Babar, those two maniacs, they ruined my bread dough, they ate my jam tarts, and they tried to steal my cooking utensil. Not only that, they flattened my cake!

Pompadour

Everyone, please settle down. His majesty can't concern himself with every little thing...[Rataxes laughing] Your majesty! [Rataxes and Basil wear Pompadour's wigs]

Rataxes

These wigs are ridiculous, Basil.

Basil

[giggling] They are indeed ridiculous. [laughing]

Rataxes

[laughing] Put them down anyway, you never know when you might want to look [laughing] ridiculous!

Pompadour

Sire, he's taken my wigs!

[they all yell] Father! Father! My spatula!

Babar, Isabelle is very upset. [Isabelle cries]

Rataxes

Basil, hurry it up!

Basil

But your rhighness, you know I suffer from vertigo!

Rataxes

You'll suffer from rigor mortis if Lady Rataxes catches us!

Basil

If I may suggest sir, you might hire a ghost writer.

Rataxes

Uh-huh. And how do I get one of those? Through a ouija board?

Then what, Basil, what?

Basil

Well, it's just that the password was originally intended for my ears only and well, it's kind of embarrassing.

JUST TELL ZEPHIR THE PASSWORD!!!

Basil

Good news, sir. Since you started handing out free frosty cones, your popularity's gone up!

Rataxes

I knew it! The way to the hearts of my people is though bribery!

Basil

You're now two points more popular then a rattlesnake bite.

Rataxes

Rats...