Sweet musical Jesus, that's your friend? Oh, she's filthy and fine!
She's very attractive, I know. Hey, I try not to look at her like that.
That must be difficult.
It is. She haunts my dreams. Just kidding. She does, though.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Touch me again, and you're gonna need another wooden hand.
Okay, wait. Another wooden hand in place of my real hand, or another wooden hand in place of my wooden hand?
Your real hand!
Are you all right?
AFAmanda Fisher
Yeah, I um, I just... just thought I saw something, but I can't really, um, trust my eyes these days.
There's nothin' wrong with your eyes. Sometimes what you think you saw, it's exactly what you saw.
You fought this thing before. Maybe you just got to finish what you started.
You listen to me. Whatever I was, that was a long time ago. Let it choose somebody else now. Me, I'm cutting out!
You can't outrun evil, Ash!
Watch me!
It's good to be back.
How does it feel?
Groovy.
Pablo, focus up! Just stay behind me. Let the boomstick do the talkin'. Things get hairy, use your bottle.
Um, I don't think it's a very good weapon, Jefe. You had to stab Roper like 50 times.
Hey, I was sharpening it for you.
[to Pablo] Yeah, I remember when I was like you. Young, dumb, full of... conflicting emotions.
Well, now that you're back, what's your big plan?
SMSuzy Maxwell
Well, just try to get everything back to normal.
Normal? Ha. What's normal?
SMSuzy Maxwell
Family, work.
Work? Work, where?
SMSuzy Maxwell
Oh, I'm an English teacher.
What grade?
SMSuzy Maxwell
Tenth.
What's your favorite book?
SMSuzy Maxwell
The Old Man and the Sea.
Oh, so you like fishing.
MMr. Maxwell
I like fishing!
This ain't about you, dad!
Pablo, believe it or not, the rude middle-aged man ya brought is kind of ruining my "mom time".
SMSuzy Maxwell
Now the three of you will perish together. Evil will walk the Earth!
Yeah, well, your cooking was shit.
[after Ash has make makeshift graves for Kelly's parents] You know they were Jewish, right?
I-I did not. Wish you could have said somethin' before I made those dumb crosses, but, okay.
I've learned you can always make things more painful.
Alright, look, we get this done quick enough, we might have time to stop for churros. And look, that's not a racist thing, Pablo. That's just a great dessert.
You know I'm not Mexican, right?
That's the spirit!
Um, but reading from the book is what caused all this trouble to begin with, so...
Yeah, that's true, but reading from it again can't make things any worse. It's kinda like spilling paint on a, painting. It's okay 'cause there's already paint on it.
That is incorrect.
Lionel, you find a wimpy demon yet?
LHLionel Hawkins
Uh, nothing that says wimpy specifically, but I have found a-a minor demon named Eligos. Possesses knowledge of hidden things, a- a demon of the mindscape.
Well, perfect. Sounds like a total nerd.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ash vs. Evil Dead pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.