Ash J. Williams quotes from Ash vs. Evil Dead

Ash J. Williams

[to Pablo] Yeah, I remember when I was like you. Young, dumb, full of... conflicting emotions.

Ash J. Williams

Hey listen, if it's cool, I just wanna sit here and enjoy this place for a while. I've always wanted to spend time in "the city so nice, they named it Jacksonville".

Ash J. Williams

Life is hard and dangerous, and sometimes you just gotta chop off somebody's head to survive.

Ash J. Williams

Don't you get it? Everybody dies here. It's just a rule. Death, taxes, more death, and I don't pay taxes. So all I know is death.

Ash J. Williams

Sweet musical Jesus, that's your friend? Oh, she's filthy and fine!

Pablo Bolivar

She's very attractive, I know. Hey, I try not to look at her like that.

Ash J. Williams

That must be difficult.

Pablo Bolivar

It is. She haunts my dreams. Just kidding. She does, though.

Kelly Maxwell

Touch me again, and you're gonna need another wooden hand.

Ash J. Williams

Okay, wait. Another wooden hand in place of my real hand, or another wooden hand in place of my wooden hand?

Kelly Maxwell

Your real hand!

Pablo Bolivar

You fought this thing before. Maybe you just got to finish what you started.

Ash J. Williams

You listen to me. Whatever I was, that was a long time ago. Let it choose somebody else now. Me, I'm cutting out!

Pablo Bolivar

You can't outrun evil, Ash!

Ash J. Williams

Watch me!

Ash J. Williams

It's good to be back.

Pablo Bolivar

How does it feel?

Ash J. Williams

Groovy.

Ash J. Williams

Pablo, focus up! Just stay behind me. Let the boomstick do the talkin'. Things get hairy, use your bottle.

Pablo Bolivar

Um, I don't think it's a very good weapon, Jefe. You had to stab Roper like 50 times.

Ash J. Williams

Hey, I was sharpening it for you.

Ash J. Williams

Well, now that you're back, what's your big plan?

Well, just try to get everything back to normal.

Ash J. Williams

Normal? Ha. What's normal?

Family, work.

Ash J. Williams

Work? Work, where?

Oh, I'm an English teacher.

Ash J. Williams

What grade?

Tenth.

Ash J. Williams

What's your favorite book?

The Old Man and the Sea.

Ash J. Williams

Oh, so you like fishing.

I like fishing!

Ash J. Williams

This ain't about you, dad!

Now the three of you will perish together. Evil will walk the Earth!

Ash J. Williams

Yeah, well, your cooking was shit.

Kelly Maxwell

[after Ash has make makeshift graves for Kelly's parents] You know they were Jewish, right?

Ash J. Williams

I-I did not. Wish you could have said somethin' before I made those dumb crosses, but, okay.

Ash J. Williams

Alright, look, we get this done quick enough, we might have time to stop for churros. And look, that's not a racist thing, Pablo. That's just a great dessert.

Pablo Bolivar

You know I'm not Mexican, right?

Ash J. Williams

That's the spirit!

Pablo Bolivar

Um, but reading from the book is what caused all this trouble to begin with, so...

Ash J. Williams

Yeah, that's true, but reading from it again can't make things any worse. It's kinda like spilling paint on a, painting. It's okay 'cause there's already paint on it.

Pablo Bolivar

That is incorrect.

Ash J. Williams

Lionel, you find a wimpy demon yet?

Uh, nothing that says wimpy specifically, but I have found a-a minor demon named Eligos. Possesses knowledge of hidden things, a- a demon of the mindscape.

Ash J. Williams

Well, perfect. Sounds like a total nerd.