Ash J. Williams quotes from Ash vs. Evil Dead

Come, I'll look inside of you.

Ash J. Williams

Good, check the old prostate while you're in there?

Ash J. Williams

Eli! You can speak?!

In here I can. It's your trip, Jefe.

Ash J. Williams

Nice, you know I've always wanted to talk to you. Uh, just don't mention the stuff I do in the trailer when we're there alone.

Never.

Ash J. Williams

All right then.

Ash Williams

Okay, look, there is no way in hell they're gonna stay here, 'cause they're gonna get possessed, then they're gonna be on the night train to Kill-adelphia.

Kelly Maxwell

With stops in Choke-lahoma City, and Die-ami.

Ash Williams

Nice.

Kelly Maxwell

I thought you'd like that.

Ash Williams

Chopping up my evil clone. Maybe someday that'll feel weird.

To bury me is a mistake.

Ash Williams

No. No, we are not having this conversation!

You should use me.

Ash Williams

No, I already did that dance, made my life a living hell!

Only because you're trying to fight me. Stop fighting. Admit it, you're not all good either. Be smart, for once. Use me.

Ash Williams

No. You're takin' a dirt nap.

Ash, if you bury me, you stop being a Superman, and go back to being a stock boy.

Ash Williams

No!

Yes!

Ash Williams

No, not this guy. I've got possibilities.

To do what? Have a family? Become president? Get rich? None of that's ever going to happen! I'm what makes you special.

Ash Williams

Blah, blah, blah. Play's over, Shakespeare.

Ash Williams

Ruby, gimme that book! You have no idea what you're doin'!

Ruby

Of course I know what I'm doing. I wrote this book.